Zenpen

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Review

Your story has got me hooked! I didn't even notice I read through 21 chapters in one sitting! The dynamics between Roman and Amelia are awesome playful yet serious yet like two frenemies lol. I absolutely love them. Now let's get talking about what you can improve. In some chapters, the characters don't have real goals or motivations. They kinda meander especially in the first chapters.

Ramon's chapters are ok but Amellia kinda meanders about and Archimedes also does this in the beginning. Giving your character something to work for even if it's for that chapter alone can make chapters more substantial and the characters far better as well. Adding motivations for such even better. Like Kelly, she has a goal and a motivation that leads her to take action on Archimedes. Skank that she is , she is a rounded character.

Archi (cause his name is a freaking mouthful) was getting there. Now Ramon and Amelia are a different pickle. Though you show more faces to both of them since the true being of the character is missing in some parts they are just kinda there in the beginning until they begin their war of attrition lol which gives them more goals and motivations for what they do.

Plot: Im a little confused with the plot right now what with the murders and then the predestined mate thing plus Emmy as Ramon's mate. It seems a bit convoluted. I know the murders start everything so they are important Emmy is obviously romantic tension and the predestined mate thing leads to a curse that is yet to be seen.. All good stuff but the way its displayed kinda confuses me..

The pace is kinda everywhere sometimes the best way to fix this is to balance your scenes with short prose or narrative and long prose or narrative (same thing basically) Lengthen descriptions and things to slow the pace down, shorten it to speed it up, and balance it is key

I have probs with this too mine is more of a zoom and I miss slowing down lol. I really liked your book and I hope this isn't the end of it. I'd like to know how Ramon and Amelia work out in the end or don't lol. He is mated.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Awesome Job!

You did a great job. The characters were so relatable and their troubles were as well. Their voice was authentic and unique. All the grammar was great and any errors were on purpose. I really resonated with the main character Daisy. I loved her I loved all the characters! Great job bud! There's just something so human about them all it was really well written.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Beyond your sight

It's a riveting read so far, although I'm confused with the child's age. She talks a bit too articulate for a one-year-old. The writing is superb. You bring in the descriptions when needed to add the right touch, tho I would like a clearer picture of the main characters. It all paints a well-drawn picture of what's going on.

I hope you keep writing and we have the full tale of this adventure

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Angel of Darkness

Wow, your book is amazing and really scary lol. It's a heartfelt story of a guy who made wrong choices but I think God forgave him in the end. I hope to read more heart-rending tales from you. Very nice book!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Review

I decided to just do a big ol review. Where you excel at is character dynamics. I love the interactions between all the characters Jude, Xiomara, Hailey, Camden, Aria, Genie hell even Irma and the goons despite their lack of human consciousness lol. You excel at character building as well.

Right now the best character there I'd say is either Jude or Camden because you have shown their worries and fears and such. Now Aria is missing a goal and motivation for that goal until chapter 14. She kinda meanders about goalless. What I mean by this is that she is there, but not fully realized because of not wanting something.

Despite the awesome dialogue and sexy times, lol, your character becomes more than that when you give them a reason for being. Same with the others, tho Xiomara is def done pretty well. I understood her goal as being lead soldier and taking it pretty seriously. Out of the women, she is the best-made female character.

Plotwise it's great! I've yet to encounter this type of plot and by that, I mean the sun-worshipping werewolves vs the moon-worshipping werewolves and hunters due to that and not due to them being werewolves.. That part is original and I really like it I feel the book can be different from others enough to be recognized as its own deal if that angle is worked on more.

It has a good pace most times so that's good Theme is too early to pick out yet but and is different for everyone. I also like the fact that Camden and Aria are mates but it wasn't insta love. Much appreciated lol. They are getting to know each other pft tho it's been cut short. Now comes the real trials. Anyone can like their mate when they aren't put into danger, stressed, or aren't angry, or depressed lol. Welcome to the real fun.

I hope this isn't all of it lol, and more is to come. It has sparked my interest and the characters are awesome even Irma the stinker lol.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

ATG

Wow. What can I say about this book? It has good inner conflict and is based around a theme, not many people touch on today. Cheating, what it is what it isn't. It gives various sides to that argument from the perspective of Paige. From beginning to end, you are taken on a journey of big emotional upheaval, and not let go until it's resolved. The climax is perfect for the characters. If you can give the theme a chance, you won't regret reading the book. It's a far better version of the first A Tempted Geek

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Love After Life

This story deals with a hard topic like many of his books do, in a rather sentimental way. The fact that you get both sides of the argument, heck even glimpses into the kids' heads, makes it different from other books on the topic. It doesn't idealize it and it shows it in a true light, whether people agree or not. It is a very interesting book. I really liked it and hope that others give it a chance. I loved the characters especially Chrissy and all she goes through. Even for being about what it is, I wanted a happy ending for her and her family. Something we rarely see in real life. These instances are not about winning or losing but finding our way after falling and I loved her tenacity and personality and how she handled everything like a GROWN UP!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

A thrilling new read!

As a person who has suffered childhood bullying, I can understand Toby to a point. Boy, do I wish I had a magical table I could eat lol! The way he confronts his problems and the way Rebecca is there to help him is very heartwarming to me as I never had anyone to help me through my problems. I quit school is how bad it got but anyway the premise of the idea is fresh! You take the book into new ways of doing things and I really like that!I hate his bully tho I mean really hate his guts lol.

This book and its idea about food condiments giving powers and about the top chef and what befalls Toby is just awesome. There are some grammar mistakes but those are easy fixes. The pacing tho might be a bit harder lol. All in all a fascinating read!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Gatekeeper meets the the Geek

I loved learning the backstory of how the friends came to be in Geeky Turn on and how so many things happen in correlation to the timeline. It's well written and the gatekeeper's voice comes out with such emotion sometimes. Very good!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Bad Boy got Burned!

I really liked the book. There were some pretty funny parts like when she actually burns him lol. IThe thing I like most however was that Damon didn't change for her and her for him like most Bad boy stories. Instead they respected each other for who they were and that right there was the biggest pull for me. You showed that the MCs could love each other as is and that's love. I had a great time reading. If you want a critique of your story I don't mind doing one for free lol. One thing that could be a bit better is how they fall in love lol. That wasn't communicated well during the transition. It actually seemed to me as if he already cared for her when he says that stuff at the hospital. lol

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

GOTS

I love the fact that this book embodies what family is and love is all about. I think it's my favorite of the trio for the message that it embodies within its pages. Vanessa does a lot of soul searching in this book. I love the Deriwinkles all of them and I love that revenge is never the message. I'm more of an action person so that I missed but otherwise really good book.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

My Glistening Starlight

I more than anyone understands mental illness, but I was confused about the part of the agent, and then also is she in love with her crush turned cousin, or her cousin turned crush, lol. I know in those cultures it isn't seen as taboo to be with a family member, but the part where the parents are like you sleep with your cousin instead of your brother kinda irked me.

She is a virgin prized more than the eldest. She'd be in a room alone most likely lol. I loved the alphabet song and that their first date was a freaking disaster lol, but Lashven wants to try again. The characters are well thought out and have personalities but no descriptions lol. What I imagine of them could be far from what you intended lol. So more descriptions are in order.

Sometimes characters act too strange. In the beginning, when Rhadha punches Lashven to unconsciousness and Lashven doesn't remember the next day (concussion maybe?) It seems a bit cartoonish lol

I loved the book otherwise! Keep up the good work!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Dr X

While I enjoy the plots there is a lot of telling instead of showing and a lot of the author intervening with the story. You are writing in Omni pov is that what you want? There the author can make conjunctions into the story but still let the characters tell their story lol. Another thing is info dumps when you put too much exposition info or story background into the story all at once. The key s to disperse this through the story while things are going without stopping for narration. Your descriptions can use work. The key here and I'm working on my own descriptions too lol you ain't the only one with this problem, is to pick three unique identifiers if it's a person you want a unique physical trait their occupation, and personality quirk. If it is a place remember to describe from pov of the characters, not every character will single out the same thing as humans. More advanced are including the senses which you can work on as well. What do they smell around them touch taste hear? Again you have good character arcs but you mash them into the stories lol I think structure can help there. I think your strengths are with characters, dialogue, and pacing so work on those more learn bout them and learn their ins and outs to create amazing stories I don't believe the codswallop about talent I believe in hard work having the will and passion for something makes things possible and in my eyes, everyone can do this. We might not be Stephen King or the big ones lol but we can learn to write good books with practice and guts. Keep up the good work! Oh and at least you know about commas as you can see I suck at them lol Grammarly is fixing it for me but I really suck at em lol! :)

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.