Zenpen

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Review

Your story has got me hooked! I didn't even notice I read through 21 chapters in one sitting! The dynamics between Roman and Amelia are awesome playful yet serious yet like two frenemies lol. I absolutely love them. Now let's get talking about what you can improve. In some chapters, the characters don't have real goals or motivations. They kinda meander especially in the first chapters.

Ramon's chapters are ok but Amellia kinda meanders about and Archimedes also does this in the beginning. Giving your character something to work for even if it's for that chapter alone can make chapters more substantial and the characters far better as well. Adding motivations for such even better. Like Kelly, she has a goal and a motivation that leads her to take action on Archimedes. Skank that she is , she is a rounded character.

Archi (cause his name is a freaking mouthful) was getting there. Now Ramon and Amelia are a different pickle. Though you show more faces to both of them since the true being of the character is missing in some parts they are just kinda there in the beginning until they begin their war of attrition lol which gives them more goals and motivations for what they do.

Plot: Im a little confused with the plot right now what with the murders and then the predestined mate thing plus Emmy as Ramon's mate. It seems a bit convoluted. I know the murders start everything so they are important Emmy is obviously romantic tension and the predestined mate thing leads to a curse that is yet to be seen.. All good stuff but the way its displayed kinda confuses me..

The pace is kinda everywhere sometimes the best way to fix this is to balance your scenes with short prose or narrative and long prose or narrative (same thing basically) Lengthen descriptions and things to slow the pace down, shorten it to speed it up, and balance it is key

I have probs with this too mine is more of a zoom and I miss slowing down lol. I really liked your book and I hope this isn't the end of it. I'd like to know how Ramon and Amelia work out in the end or don't lol. He is mated.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Awesome Job!

You did a great job. The characters were so relatable and their troubles were as well. Their voice was authentic and unique. All the grammar was great and any errors were on purpose. I really resonated with the main character Daisy. I loved her I loved all the characters! Great job bud! There's just something so human about them all it was really well written.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Great Story!

Every once in a while, I come upon a gem, and this story is a gem. The characters are well thought out, the plot is well done, and even the setting is evocative. I loved the whole premise, and with some editing, this could be a real diamond!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

The Beginning

You are off to a good start. A rather explosive way to be enlightened lol. I have no idea of the plot even if I gave it four stars. It sounded good in the blurb but I need to see it written too lol. FOr a first chapter however this is well done. It captures the attention and doesn't let go. The beginning hook is great and the rest that follows compliments the hook. I am not a proof reader but I'd say the grammar is decent. Overall a good first chapter! Keep going!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

That Ending!

Wow, that ending was a zinger! The beginning had a few redundancies, but the description of the battlefield was very apt. I loved the moral and the story as a whole. It was great! The way it came together was brilliant. Titus, Damon, and Elrond were good characters, and we really got into Elrond's head. We got to know him. I think the title fits the story very well now that I've read it. A frivolous pursuit indeed. A few grammar mistakes but with a little editing that should be taken care of like a few commas out of place etc lol. Otherwise Great story!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Crystal is my Favorite!

I enjoyed the book so far, and love Crystal. Its snark, sarcasm, wit, and even its bloodthirsty side were awesome to get to know. Lila, while naive is pretty impressive as a character as well. She has a great repertoire with Crystal. This was an enjoyable read, and I'll recommend it to any fantasy adventure fan!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Max!

Lol what a fun story! It was creative and fun! Lol Poor Max tho I don't think he learned a thing lol. The style was a bit strange to me but it fit the tone of this story. Max was a great character lol but I loved Pawrrun and Dusty the most! Good story!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

My Savior

I read this and it was hard to put down. Case in point I am still reading this but I wanted to start this review. This book is very touching. While the beginning was a bit unbelievable it quickly becomes an unforgettable read. Eva and Dr. Miller's relationship grows with the page and Jane is thrown with them. Can't wait to see more characters! Liam is so cute and Anna and Emily! Emily is like a grown-up lol. Ms Drusillia I thought she would be mean and abusive but she was the contrary! I liked the whole book! There are several things that can be worked on. Dialogue for one. Subtext and tags lol. Setting and technical things but story-wise it was great!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Annie +Annie

I loved this story! The author does a good job of representing gay and special needs people. The romance is believable but this book is more than just romance it's about the human condition and how humans can be downright awful and how two girls and their families react and preserve through it all. One family is Jewish and the other is Asian though the main focus is on the Jewish family.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Engaging read

So far an engaging read. The characters are lively and three dimensional the story telling is solid and the writing skill is without fault. I am looking forward to reviewing more when its finished llol. The goals and motivations are spot on and the settings were lovely. It has heart and all around a very good presentation. Thank you for letting me read such a nice story!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Angel of Darkness

Wow, your book is amazing and really scary lol. It's a heartfelt story of a guy who made wrong choices but I think God forgave him in the end. I hope to read more heart-rending tales from you. Very nice book!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Review

I decided to just do a big ol review. Where you excel at is character dynamics. I love the interactions between all the characters Jude, Xiomara, Hailey, Camden, Aria, Genie hell even Irma and the goons despite their lack of human consciousness lol. You excel at character building as well.

Right now the best character there I'd say is either Jude or Camden because you have shown their worries and fears and such. Now Aria is missing a goal and motivation for that goal until chapter 14. She kinda meanders about goalless. What I mean by this is that she is there, but not fully realized because of not wanting something.

Despite the awesome dialogue and sexy times, lol, your character becomes more than that when you give them a reason for being. Same with the others, tho Xiomara is def done pretty well. I understood her goal as being lead soldier and taking it pretty seriously. Out of the women, she is the best-made female character.

Plotwise it's great! I've yet to encounter this type of plot and by that, I mean the sun-worshipping werewolves vs the moon-worshipping werewolves and hunters due to that and not due to them being werewolves.. That part is original and I really like it I feel the book can be different from others enough to be recognized as its own deal if that angle is worked on more.

It has a good pace most times so that's good Theme is too early to pick out yet but and is different for everyone. I also like the fact that Camden and Aria are mates but it wasn't insta love. Much appreciated lol. They are getting to know each other pft tho it's been cut short. Now comes the real trials. Anyone can like their mate when they aren't put into danger, stressed, or aren't angry, or depressed lol. Welcome to the real fun.

I hope this isn't all of it lol, and more is to come. It has sparked my interest and the characters are awesome even Irma the stinker lol.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

ATG

Wow. What can I say about this book? It has good inner conflict and is based around a theme, not many people touch on today. Cheating, what it is what it isn't. It gives various sides to that argument from the perspective of Paige. From beginning to end, you are taken on a journey of big emotional upheaval, and not let go until it's resolved. The climax is perfect for the characters. If you can give the theme a chance, you won't regret reading the book. It's a far better version of the first A Tempted Geek

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Love After Life

This story deals with a hard topic like many of his books do, in a rather sentimental way. The fact that you get both sides of the argument, heck even glimpses into the kids' heads, makes it different from other books on the topic. It doesn't idealize it and it shows it in a true light, whether people agree or not. It is a very interesting book. I really liked it and hope that others give it a chance. I loved the characters especially Chrissy and all she goes through. Even for being about what it is, I wanted a happy ending for her and her family. Something we rarely see in real life. These instances are not about winning or losing but finding our way after falling and I loved her tenacity and personality and how she handled everything like a GROWN UP!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

loved it!

Loved it! Loved it! LOVED it! It was a great story a nice romance and has a wonderful ending. I loved it!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Lovely Poems

Your poems are from the heart and are very relatable. They are lovely pieces. I especially loved The Sky is Crying, and a few others about friendship, and a death one can't remember if it was the first, or the second I think it was the second. The ones about depression were very relatable, and there was one about younger days that resonated with me. I loved them all!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Lovely

Lovely story! It has good characters and a sweet short plot with steamy scenes. A love that has withstood time and again.Great story

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

More!

I liked the dynamic between Garric Rubik and Ginelle. It's a good story and can't wait for the rest! I am bad at grammar so I didn't really spot any errors. Spelling was good as for commas I can't tell lol cause I'm working on that myself lol. Margot and Harrison are in an interesting situation as well. Can't wait till more is written!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Asher and Lexi

Asher was and is a great guy, he might have made some mistakes but he makes up for it, and Dylan! heck, send him my way lol! Any way Harper and Walker were also great characters. I am kinda of torn about Lexi. On the one hand, I understand her hesitance in the beginning, but after the part where they have sex in Asher's apartment and he says he loves her, it gets kinda old. lol. I loved their chemistry, however, so I guess her hesitance had to exist. One thing I noticed is you don't describe your settings. I do this too so just mentioning it. Is it on purpose or 'cause you forget to? I'm no grammar police and I suck at commas lol most of my works have bad commas, so I'm not nitpicky about grammar. It was a great story tho. The father Harvey I loved him he was a heck of a villain lol.

The plot wasn't new but it was fun and innovative so I gave it five stars lol. I also found the raunchy scenes well done they weren't too hardcore or lame lol. Now the pacing could use some work tho. Sometimes you had so much going on in one chapter that it screwed with the pacing of the novel lol I'd make more chaps for those pieces especially chapter one. Other than this, it was a great story! I want to read Dylan's story now lol. You've got me hooked!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Dang!

What an ending! I really liked this story. You do a lot of telling and while you are very descriptive, you aren't descriptive in what you should be. An example of this is when you say she encountered horror after horror in the room but we aren't immersed in that horror. We are told of it but never shown any indication of it except for the empty mannequin room and empty nursery. You can capitalize on the horror by exploring just what the horror is of these rooms. Are they full of lonely spirits? Are they empty husks of eerie silence? What is so horrifying about these rooms lol. Other than that you do great! Awesome twist ending! I wasn't expecting that! Great grammar and your way of writing is somewhat lyrical I liked that. Great job!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Sapherine

This is just a test to see if it works! I've been getting complaints that it doesn't

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

The Defiant

I liked the story a lot! I liked the character Mo, and Tian is a little snot but he has to be in this world. A kinda Isekai-like plot so far, it's good! However, the writing style needs a bit of sprucing up. There were a lot of times I confused the dialogue with the actions. I think a simple set of quotation marks around the dialogue serves as a solution to this problem. Also commas! I suck at them, but even I noticed their lack lol. They are tricky buggers, however, so I don't fault the author for skipping them lol. Otherwise, a few spelling errors and such. I think you did well in the dialogue and you did good introspection too. The action was far better than my own lol. Keep up the good work! I hope to read more!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Robots!

I liked this! A very good beginning to a story. While it deals with robots it doesn't feel like a Transformer's thing tho. It feels different. More like this movie I saw in the eighties, but can't remember the title now. It wasn't about robots but it had a similar plot. Anyway, I enjoyed it Good characters and setting and pacing. We'll see what it turns into.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Family Reunion

I really liked this concept and the new characters lol. We'll see what the son of Goku can do against Cro who by the way is awesome lol, I really like him, Kaiser, and Mayuumi.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Sisters!

While it's different from what I usually read it was a good different. It was a great start to a complicated story about sisters lol. Nothing incestuous happened yet, but since it will I won't be continuing however, this was a well-written book with an engaging plot and a spanking main character in Fiona lol. I'm glad to have read so far and do I sense some jealousy from Dania? Maybe a menage a trois is in the works lol?

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Home Coming

This is one of those books that makes you think. What is right or wrong? What is moral? Adam is a very well-developed character for six chapters only. I hate the Fixer tho. He sucks. Adam is stuck between a Rock and a hard place. I hope he chooses well for Sarah's sake! It was a thought-provoking read!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Devil's Fire MC

I like the story so far!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

When The Moon Rises

A great story. Different from some were stories I've read. I really liked it!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

What If He Didn't Die?

It's a great tear-jerker lol Anyway great suspense I couldn't stop reading once I began. With a twin like that who needs enemies? I hope Dan is still alive somehow even if I know the chances are barely nil. Goodd plot tho engaging read!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

I read it yesterday lol. loved it!

The way you show an abused character picking up the pieces of her life is well done I know it isn't easy. You had no grammar mistakes that I saw. It was an engaging read so far although the last chapters dragged a bit. I would go back and find what the goal was for those chapters. I love the way you make the characters three-dimensional. They are all great! Thank you for that lovely read!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Thrilling and Captivating

The way that you seem to weave both the thrilling aspects and the sad aspects to create this story is a gift. You do so seamlessly. The plays with character povs and with creating three-dimensional characters are very well done and the best part of your story. The way these characters just leap off the pages as their own person and the way they seem to interact with others. This reminds me a lot of 'What We Did Last Summer' except I consider it far better lol

There were none to few grammar problems, and other than the paragraph deal, it was an easy read. I greatly enjoyed your story thank you for that lovely read!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

2 Kings One Destiny

Other than your grammar this is an enjoyable read! A great continuation of the first part. The characters were spot on and still in character for them, and I still love Amelia and Ramon's dynamic relationship lol. Added to it is a very mysterious bracelet and sword. I can't wait for more! I love Amelia's metamorphosis she's a thing of nightmares and it's coming out looks like Kelly found out a bit too late or had a close encounter lol. Anyway keep up the good work!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

I started this a long time ago!

While I intend to finish it I need to review it and re do certain parts that aren't clear

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Awesome!

I usually avoid werewolf books. Most are the same with bonds, Lunas, rejections, and whatnot but this book took all that and turned it on its head also introducing crime and mystery to the werewolf genre. I can't say how awesome that idea was. You really rocked it whether characters, plot, setting, pace, tone, voice, everything, just everything was awesome. There are things that can be fixed like the Lacey pothole and the grammar but overall this book was gold! And you are continuing the series!? Whoop! Can't wait!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

A thrilling new read!

As a person who has suffered childhood bullying, I can understand Toby to a point. Boy, do I wish I had a magical table I could eat lol! The way he confronts his problems and the way Rebecca is there to help him is very heartwarming to me as I never had anyone to help me through my problems. I quit school is how bad it got but anyway the premise of the idea is fresh! You take the book into new ways of doing things and I really like that!I hate his bully tho I mean really hate his guts lol.

This book and its idea about food condiments giving powers and about the top chef and what befalls Toby is just awesome. There are some grammar mistakes but those are easy fixes. The pacing tho might be a bit harder lol. All in all a fascinating read!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Gatekeeper meets the the Geek

I loved learning the backstory of how the friends came to be in Geeky Turn on and how so many things happen in correlation to the timeline. It's well written and the gatekeeper's voice comes out with such emotion sometimes. Very good!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Bad Boy got Burned!

I really liked the book. There were some pretty funny parts like when she actually burns him lol. IThe thing I like most however was that Damon didn't change for her and her for him like most Bad boy stories. Instead they respected each other for who they were and that right there was the biggest pull for me. You showed that the MCs could love each other as is and that's love. I had a great time reading. If you want a critique of your story I don't mind doing one for free lol. One thing that could be a bit better is how they fall in love lol. That wasn't communicated well during the transition. It actually seemed to me as if he already cared for her when he says that stuff at the hospital. lol

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

GOTS

I love the fact that this book embodies what family is and love is all about. I think it's my favorite of the trio for the message that it embodies within its pages. Vanessa does a lot of soul searching in this book. I love the Deriwinkles all of them and I love that revenge is never the message. I'm more of an action person so that I missed but otherwise really good book.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

My Glistening Starlight

I more than anyone understands mental illness, but I was confused about the part of the agent, and then also is she in love with her crush turned cousin, or her cousin turned crush, lol. I know in those cultures it isn't seen as taboo to be with a family member, but the part where the parents are like you sleep with your cousin instead of your brother kinda irked me.

She is a virgin prized more than the eldest. She'd be in a room alone most likely lol. I loved the alphabet song and that their first date was a freaking disaster lol, but Lashven wants to try again. The characters are well thought out and have personalities but no descriptions lol. What I imagine of them could be far from what you intended lol. So more descriptions are in order.

Sometimes characters act too strange. In the beginning, when Rhadha punches Lashven to unconsciousness and Lashven doesn't remember the next day (concussion maybe?) It seems a bit cartoonish lol

I loved the book otherwise! Keep up the good work!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Dr X

While I enjoy the plots there is a lot of telling instead of showing and a lot of the author intervening with the story. You are writing in Omni pov is that what you want? There the author can make conjunctions into the story but still let the characters tell their story lol. Another thing is info dumps when you put too much exposition info or story background into the story all at once. The key s to disperse this through the story while things are going without stopping for narration. Your descriptions can use work. The key here and I'm working on my own descriptions too lol you ain't the only one with this problem, is to pick three unique identifiers if it's a person you want a unique physical trait their occupation, and personality quirk. If it is a place remember to describe from pov of the characters, not every character will single out the same thing as humans. More advanced are including the senses which you can work on as well. What do they smell around them touch taste hear? Again you have good character arcs but you mash them into the stories lol I think structure can help there. I think your strengths are with characters, dialogue, and pacing so work on those more learn bout them and learn their ins and outs to create amazing stories I don't believe the codswallop about talent I believe in hard work having the will and passion for something makes things possible and in my eyes, everyone can do this. We might not be Stephen King or the big ones lol but we can learn to write good books with practice and guts. Keep up the good work! Oh and at least you know about commas as you can see I suck at them lol Grammarly is fixing it for me but I really suck at em lol! :)

Read the story now

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.