Zirafan

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good but short

The premise of this story is good but unexplained. Why does hight matter? I enjoyed this story as a quick read and honestly the only reason to give you less than a five would be you didn't explain things well.
I loved the story and it's premise and wouldn't rewrite it but I would add just a little more detail. I know this is a short story but I would add a couple more chapters because I really want to know what happens next. This story leaves many questions unanswered and that's shame because it's such a great story.
Please keep writing Syfy like this and at this pace it's really good but next time don't be afraid to write a bit more.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good read

First off for any negative things I say in this don't take it too seriously I'm someone who really liked this story but thinks they see how it can be made better. Second of all there is a lot of good to this story you should be proud of yourself fir writing this.

I liked the overall story it was nice and I was always engaged, however I did notice a couple things. The first thing I noticed was you're grammar which isn't that big of a problem it can be fixed if you have others go over your story for you or if you don't want to do that you can try taking a harder look at what you're writing. I myself struggle with the same issue when I write and it's hard for me because I don't want anyone I know reading what I've written.

Moving on from that into problems I found with the story, I can see you're trying to create three dimensional characters by not making them Marry Sues. You're doing a wonderful job with that bus I would advise maybe making you're villians a bit more likeable, otherwise you don't feel conflicted over if what the main characters are doing is right or wrong (I'm betting that's what you were aiming for) instead you just feel disconnected from you're main characters.

Now with that being said, you wrote a great story. I loved reading this story and hope it only gets better.

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