Ahmed Bashir

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A bad idea which was well executed

Is this the first story you have written? Because if it is, you should not have started out with a sci-fi. You need way more than 7 chapters to properly develop a sci fi world. I didn't care what happened to any of the characters nor understood what was happening to them(it might be because im an idiot). You have a very large and excellent vocabulary but that sometimes got in the way of what you were trying to say. The idea of the story if I'm honest was a bit strange and far fetched for a sci-fi but you made a bad idea very decent. You need to focus more on getting your idea across and not trying to use your extensive vocabulary. In the future, I think you would be a great writer of longer stories because as I said before there were too many ideas here and they were not properly developed. Focus on a few characters and a few ideas if you are only writing a story with 7 chapters. All in all, it was very well written and at some points( like the prologue) was a very interesting idea. Also in the future pls avoid having 3 sons.

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