In background use the word “in” instead of “on. It makes more sense to say “in my eyes,” instead of “on my eyes.” Also, I think your transition into the story could be something along the lines, “My name is Maria and death has been knocking on my door for some time now, and has finally taken matters into its own hands. If you are still lost don’t worry, you’ll understand soon enough.” Or something like that. As far as your actual story goes, you have some minor punctuation errors. I strongly recommend looking into “ginger” or some other spelling and punctuation website to help spruce up your work. I think your work has major potential and can become something great! Keep writing!
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