The Bible Killings Untitled Story
Good start. It needs editing.,. For example - your story reads (chapter 2 4th paragraph before chapter end.
Read the story now
"Obviously the killer was enraged; the positioning of his victims was meant to humiliate." The next few sentences expand on this thought however it was unnecessary to do so.
Just a suggestion - could you reduce it down to "Obviously the killer was enraged; the positioning of his victims was meant to humiliate."
Does dwelling on the sex of the murderer at this point in the story add to it? I think that is a very important question. Does the sentence... paragraph... page, add to the story? If not.... get rid of it.
All of your statements about the church and pastor are negative and almost sound personal. Are there no redeeming qualities - maybe think of some and throw them in.
ie "The pastor's demeanor inspired undeserved confidence."
I'm no expert so please take this review in the spirit intended. Your story has promise with good editing.