Becca Fox

Phoenix, AZ

Wife, mother, reader, author, introvert, Netflix-binge-watcher, Marvel-enthusiast, lover of baked goods, Jesus-freak.

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Full of emotion

There are times when the lines themselves don't make much sense, but I can tell there is a lot of emotion behind each poem as a whole. There is struggle, pain, loneliness. This writer's journey is one we've all gone through at some point in our lives. Very relatable.

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Percy Jackson-like

I'm a huge fan of Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and this was very similar. The combination of different mythical creatures and magical objects was fresh, different. The dialogue and grammar could use some work at times, but the story over all is great!

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Holy Moly!

What an opening chapter! So much is going on with these descriptions. They're terrifying and awesome and a bit confusing, but I think I know where the author is going with them. Once I got used to the writing style, it was easier not to get tripped up by the long sentences. Tommy was so cute and Sam's situation was so tragic. I love how the author made me care about both of them in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to find out what happens next!

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Potential

As stated by the other reviewers, this story has a lot of potential. There's conflict, there's a clear motivation and mission for the main character, and there's a new world to explore. The amount of characters made the start of the story a bit confusing for me. Also, I'm not sure why the first person POV prologue is needed or why the POV had to shift to third person. Personally, I think it would make more sense if the writer stuck with one POV throughout. Also, sometimes the writer uses too many words to describe things. It clogs up the sentences, makes them too long and confusing. But it's nothing some serious editing can't fix. :)

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A good start

I love the premise. I got a little confused with all the different names at the beginning of the story, but the writing was good and engaging. I look forward to coming back and reading more later!

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.