bilalfiroz

Tres Tres Formidable!

Great work! An excellent short story but for a second there I started to think that the gentleman who had come to interview the our protagonist was himself a robot. Again, would love to read what happens next :)

So what happens next?

I was searching for a good sci-fi story to read and the title immediately caught my attention. Just one word - which tickles a person's curiosity about the subject matter addressed. Immediately I wanted to know what the story was about and when I started to read it I could not take my eyes of the text. The concept you have explored - that of the moon vanishing - is extremely interesting and thoroughly innovative to say the least ! Kudos to an excellent concept! Placing a lunar colony on the moon that everyone seems to have forgotten is even better. Sharp simple scenes and realistic dialogue intertwine perfectly with the nature of the story. Now my first question for you is whether the story is complete or not? Are there any more chapters?
(There should be as I am very curious to know what happened)
If the story is complete and is of the current length then I would suggest you add more chapters (I seem to have missed reading what the progress of the work is) but if its not and you have plans for another draft for the first chapter then I have some suggestions for the plot. My suggestions also depend on the nature of the genre - is it hard science fiction or soft? If its hard sci-fi then you need to address the plot hole of justifying NASA or any other international space agency not monitoring the moon as it vanished. This is the only amendment I see so far. Other than that please write some more ! I would love to read any other story based in this moonless world :)
If you don't wish to add chapters then maybe you can write a story from the colony's perspective?
Looking forwards to reading more material you publish.
Regards,
M.Bilal Firoz

Good work!

At first I expected this to be a very typical story, as the concept has been worked upon many times in different works by various writers. However, as I started reading and progressed through the story I must say I was thoroughly engaged and was enjoying the atmosphere of the environment created by the characters. Many simple situations from the perspective of an out-worldly being with colorful realistic portrayals of our everyday culture thoughtfully narrated. Most of the situations had me in fits of laughter! Good work. I am looking forward to the rest of the story :)

Also I would like to give some suggestions, it would be really interesting if you could build an arc leading to interaction of the protagonist's race with the humans of our planet, although I am pretty sure you have a great and interesting plot worked out :)