blue4t

Christian who loves to read, write, play flute and piccolo, Atlanta Braves, and Charlotte 49ers.

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good start

I've only read the first chapter, but I do want to continue on!

I find the intro chapter is too descriptive. The second paragraph is much better.
"Her long sandy blonde hair tied up into a thick ponytail at the base of her neck." is an incomplete sentence (from the sixth paragraph).

Could use a little bit of editing to tighten up the writing. Overall it is a beautiful chapter. The prose is a bit flowery, but it gives it this feeling, this tone that it needs. It's kind of predictable but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I would recommend this story to someone looking for a light but serious romance.

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