Great promise!
First off, I picked this up because the summary sounded interesting, so good job on writing a summary that hooks the readers' attention. The cover also looks pretty cool :)
What stood out the most to me about this story is the superb suspense building- each sentence is packed with tension, and delivered at an appropriate pace to maintain attention but not be too boring.
You also do well with descriptions. They paint a clear picture, yet aren't too excessive. Nice use of figurative language.
However, what was slightly off-putting for me was the abundance of grammar mistakes and strangely delivered dialogue. The dialogue itself is realistic enough, but the characters' speech isn't separated at all when someone new starts talking, so it gets very confusing. In general, I think some of the paragraphs could be spaced out better. The grammar needs some corrections, particularly in the comma and conjunction area. This could be easily fixed with some revisions, though.
As for the plot, it's unique and intense, which I like. It's got layers, but not so many that it becomes confusing. I will definitely continue reading this as you add chapters to further delve into this intriguing story.
Your writing style is easy to understand and generally well-rounded, but I did notice an abundance of "to be" verbs. You should remove some of these to make your writing clearer and more direct. For example, if you have a sentence like "she was sitting in the living room," it would be better to shorten it to "she sat in the living room" by removing the extra "was." (Of course, this doesn't apply to all sentences. Sometimes "to be" verbs are necessary and improve the writing)
Lastly, your characters. Each one of them is perfect for the start of a novel, but don't forget to add developments, flaws, and general uniqueness to them. For a book that's only partially complete, the characters are great and understandable. As you read, you definitely develop a bond with them., just make sure to eventually work some developments in there.
Overall, I found this book to be a promising start to something that could turn out seriously amazing! :)
Read the story now