J A Liebert

Rings

The author narrates in the first person of a superhuman and so far is pulling it off. I think this is very difficult; so, she will have to sustain the ambiguity. The reader must realize that these are human-like characters who are superhuman. I hope the author reveals more of the ethnic origins of this story. I wonder if there is Russian mythology here or Balkan. It really is quite violent making me wonder if brutality of the last war in former Yugoslavia influenced the story. In that war the various sects were superhuman compared to others with whom they had lived under Tito as humans; then they ripped each others' inner beings out. The hatred and brutality were horrific, and the narrator here speaks of some pretty gruesome stuff. Hope she can keep up the ambiguous trickery of the humans and superhumans for a whole book.

Love of My Life

This appears to be a soliloquy, which is fine. I think, however, it needs more structure. You can write just fine, and this is can be a great story about a very important topic. I am particularly interested, because I am a psychiatrist and do treat Indian women. I hope you keep writing and have direction, because I don't think a first person narrative is going be adequate. Fascinating and courageous on your part, revealing such intimate forces affecting mating in different cultures - particularly in different cultures thinking in English. Do finish this, because it is an important work in progress. I look forward to coming back and seeing more.

Ropes

Good sea story, because right away you make the reader feel like he's sitting and listening to a very, very old salt. So, you want to know what it's like on those old ships, you want to listen. The language is real - at least as far as I can tell. That ability to tell a story in first person with an archaic and idiosyncratic language we no longer hear is a significant skill. Good story telling, and I think people will want to keep listening to find out where the rope takes you. The rope is an interesting thematic paradigm that you will have to stay with for a long time. That will be hard, but you probably figured that out.

I found one typo in the second chapter; otherwise, adjusting for the authentic language, it is well written.

Calypso's Prophecy

I like the way you get the reader back many centuries. Opening, sitting in a serene living room and suddenly, 'BOOM', and your in the legendary world of pirates. I'm sure they did not brush their teeth and were a nasty bunch. But, as read along, you probably give them a morality of their own. Maybe they aren't total garbage, or you wouldn't be so interested in them. Good writing, in my opinion.

Keepers Of Equalidor Book One

Great dialogue to create characters and educate too. I would have recommended this for my grandchildren 10 - 13, but then some language popped out at me that makes me think this is for adults only. Perhaps, that is a bit prudish, as they hear these words, but probably not appropriate for children and teenagers.

Five Times

This is a hard book to write - at least from my experience, because I write from experience and not fantasy. But, I was asked as a psychiatrist to comment. What I see is the plight of a young woman, whether facing total destruction or arranged marriage, finding a safe place in fantasy, completely off the human dependency on O2 and empowered by magic. Aren't we all to some degree, but this is more culture driven and therefore of interest from that perspective.. English is such a great language, because it allows us into worlds we have never been. In this case it is the world of a young Indian woman. I think that there are some grammatical corrections that need to be made even though they may derive from a different dialect of English. Try to clear up the technical issues of language to make it easier on everyone all over the world reading it. The sudden collision of different characters can be confusing. I did have to read it a couple of times. I really don't know if that collision empowers the story and is intended or if it needs some tightening up to make it a smoother and easier read. That is a choice the author must make, because it may be the very intention to create such a collision - i.e. a girl facing an arranged marriage and then suddenly a Anglo couple married in a Christian church. Interesting.

Sateria and the Night Raiders

A page turner of pure lust and greed. There's a baby on the way. Maybe something good will come for all these corrupted people.. Good story and good story telling. Sex handled well - not too hot and not too cool. Maybe character description could be more unique and less two dimensional, but the physical descriptions don't detract from the characters themselves.

For the genre, good job. A quick read from LA to Chicago. That's what it is supposed to be in this genre.

Wanting You

Although a seemingly simple narrative, this emotional conflict between a 15 year old girl and 19 year old guy who has been like a brother is hard to write. The author is succeeding. I would second the previous review and advise proofreading, because sometimes I cannot tell what is meant to be Mia's POV in her words and what is error.

The Other in Us

This is a high tempo history of the Czech resistance. The author uses multiple POVs that can be confusing, but so far her technique is working. I want to find out what's goin on here. Who is this German? What are his motives? Driven by lust or undercover in the resistance too?

Who informed on her?

Excellent suspense and I really do want to know what is going on here, and that is what counts in this contest. A potential winner IMO. Historical fiction too. I don't know much about the Nazi occupation of Czechoslovakia., and that is a bonus for reading this book.