Catherine

I'd Buy!

Loved this story. It was simple and sweet. If I had kids I would buy this. I especially lived the rhyming poem. Dont know what 5he is though.

Tranquility

I thought it was an interesting concept. I had a hard time following the differences between lycans and werewolves. I felt the explanation at the beginning were a little hard for me to understand. I am not a fan of the main character. She is to naive and timid for me. I like characters who have a little backbone or at least are wise/think through things. Overall, it is a great premise for a story.

Good Read

So far I am finding myself into the story. I like the main character and feel like she has been written week. Keep writing!

Unique

I thought this was a great story. It was unique, love came over time, characters were dynamic, and you didn't need explicit sex scenes to keep people interested. I feel like those are signs of good authors. Keep up the good work!

Refreshing

I think the premise of the story is great. I love that she didn't jump his bones immediately, it's refreshing. Honestly, i'm tired of the "love at first sight" plot. Sex and sexual attraction does not equal love.

I am all about gender quality and stuff, but I feel like you are laying it on a little thick. I feel like this is turning into a political story... Female power is great, my own story is about a strong female, but don't make it so obious. Maybe instead of her blatantly saying her mission is to help empower the women, have that message be shown through her actions. for example, instead of her saying if she is going to do it on her own to show the women how that she can do it say: she is doing it because she wants to learn to be strong on her own. And by doing that she will earn the respect of the pack. Then have a teenage girl say she was inspired by she going out on her own (hope that makes sense!)

Also, the dialogue is a little to long. I would go back and try to find ways to be more direct in what your saying. Your using to many words, or repeating ideas.

I think you have a promising story. Keep it up!

Pro's and Con's

Pro's
1. I really liked the main character. I felt like she was dynamic and I could see her change through the story
2. You did dominate and submissive sex relationships very tasteful. It was nice to see it without BDSM (it was more realistic in some senses).
3. Skin/Fur sex is a taboo and I again felt like you wrote those scenes very tastefully.

Con's
This is a big one and why I rated your story a 2...
Ryker was sexually assaulted. Just because he orgasmed doesn't mean it was okay. And I felt like as the story went on he's assault was sensationalized as it was turned into something okay because now he was sexual turned on. This is a very problematic thing to make a positive in your story because it then influences other people to act that way or think it is okay to act that way. The first time was most definitely not consensual for the character, but you wrote him to crave it and made that seem like it was okay and leading to something beautiful. As a victim of sexual assault the subliminal message is something that I feel is wrong on all levels of human decency (I don't think your a bad person or anything! just strongly disagree with how you wrote that sub-plot).

Great

I've really enjoyed your story. I like the progression of Orlando and Ari. There a lot of spelling, sentence structure, and grammar mistakes. But it doesn't distract from the plot too much.