christopher_daniels

A Heartbreaking Tale of Despair

I confess I've only read the first eight chapters so far, and yet you can really feel the angst, depression, and heartbreak that the characters have. It's a very realistic portrayal of these emotions and the inner conflict a lot of us humans feel after suffering through repeated painful experiences.

Review

Alright. There’s a couple of grammar issues, but everyone has those. It’s nothing new. Also, this book is about military men. I was only in the military for a brief time before being discharged, but there’s a lot of….how do you put it…machismo. I don’t really get a lot of that from your book. I would recommend putting more military slang into the book.

I would also have your characters do a lot more physical activity. Life in a military base is by routine. People wake up early and the first thing they do is run and drill before doing their daily assignments. Most of your characters seem to have high ranks in the military. The few high officers i know usually were married and already had families. That’s not to say your main character has to be to married but his friends could be.

One of the things I like about your book is how it does have some stand-up guys in it. Often times writers in media paint military personnel as meatheads so it’s good that you have characters that aren’t like that and are fleshed out and come off as real people.

Your book has potential. I would suggest doing a little more research into military life and doing a bit more editing to correct a couple of grammatical errors.