christopher_daniels

Somewhere, U.S. Don't worry about it.

A young writer who drinks alot of tea, reads too much, and watches alot of YouTube. Need something reviewed? Just ask. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

No published stories yet

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First Chapter Review

I'm just going to label it First Chapter Review so others know what stage you were at when I was writing this review.
Now, the plot seems pretty solid, and I like the way you set up the first chapter. For a first chapter, you set the plot and the main character well. You used a solid formula to draw readers into your novel, but I do question one thing. I don't know about opening the book with a flashback or a dream sequence. I've read a lot of books that open like that, but it's something I wouldn't do. But then again, I'm not the one writing the novel. You seem to know where you want this book to go.
Your writing style and your plot are defiantly your biggest strengths. However, the biggest problem about your first chapter is your technical writing skills. Trust me. I know how tiresome it is to edit one's chapters. I cringe when I look at my own work, and I'm a bit embarrassed by it. However, you have nothing to be embarrassed of. It's a good chapter but you need to edit it. Grammar is a bit off in a couple of places and so is the punctuation. I didn't notice anything misspelled, so it's nothing major. I would suggest grammarly if you don't really feel like re-reading your chapter over and over again.
Overall, it was a good read. Can't wait to read more!

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Great so Far

First, the writing sets the mood perfectly, and the characters are already very appealing. The cynical tone suits a novel of this kind very well. The grammar and editing is actually pretty good. Usually, the biggest problem for people on this site is the grammar and editing, but you actually paid close attention to this overlooked part of the writing process.
The plot hasn't really kicked in yet, but I really do think you're setting it up rather well. Honestly, one of the only criticisms I have is you should work on painting the setting more. A majority of your writing is on the characters but not enough of the setting or the description of your characters. Let your readers know how the character views the world. Since he sees the world in a negative light, you could describe the world negativity. Maybe the bus driver has messy hair, or maybe the father has a bunch of warts on his face. Anyway, I'll update this review if you ever want me to do so. It's only fair to review the entire book instead of just the first three chapters. Keep writing!
P.S. another thing I just noticed is how hard it is to read the cover of your book. I would suggest changing the font color or just playing with it a bit. Anyway, just a suggestion.

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Chapter 1 - 6 Review

So the book has its moments where you can really relate to the characters, and the characters are very intriguing. However, the main element that drags this book down is that it tries to be scary way too fast. As a fan of everything related to the horror genre, I can tell you that some of the best parts of horror stories is the build-up and getting to know the characters before everything becomes complete chaos. If you were writing a zombie story or a serial killer story, it would make sense for the build-up to be this rapid, but for a story about a demon (or ghosts), it should be gradual. The rapid build-up could make more sense if the chapters were a bit longer (about 500 more words and more).
Also, the demon isn't really described enough. If you're going to write a horror story about a demon, It's really important to get into detail about his appearance. That's how you creep out the readers. In short, I feel like if you added more detail about him, you would get the kind of scares you are going after.
I also question the motivations of your characters. I'm not sure why the writer buys and checks out her own books or why she would agree to go out on a date with a complete stranger. You should dig more into the psyche of your characters. It could make the audience sympathize with them more.
Grammar and Punctuation is alright, but I noticed a couple of errors you should probably fix. You don't have a lot.
Overall, your book has great moments, but you really need to create stronger motives for all your characters and bring out the horror. Don't let this discourage, though! The best writers are the ones who never stop writing!

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Outstanding!

Your book is outstanding. Though not perfect, it is truly one of the better works on Inkitt simply due to its creative writing style. The characters are multi-faced especially the character Daniel whose growth through the first half of the novel carries the plot. The connections between the two main romantic relationships are relatable and healthy unlike so other novel relationships (Edward and Bella *cough*). A few inconsistencies do exist but nothing too major, and your grammar is on point. You are a very skilled writer, and I would love to read another one of your works if you ever put one up on Inkitt again.

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