Claire Booth

warlock

Brilliant. Nothing else to say.

Two minds

I read that because when I saw it I was worried.
But I needn't have been we had the same idea but took it in completely different directions.
A very early draft of 'Winter' had Elementals in but I dismissed them and went down the Mother Nature route. They do appear later on in the series but not as you have done.
Nice to know there is someone out there that thinks like me lol.
Other than that really enjoyed it. As with your other work beautifully written.
Unfortunately I cant put 'Winter' on here other than a short sample as I think you would enjoy it.

Amazing sequel

It is always so much harder to write a sequel when the first is so exceptional. This was brilliant bringing all the loose ends together with expert skill.

Amazing

I don't often read vampire stories but this caught my attention.
It was brilliant and so clever and original. Thank you very much.
A pleasant distraction xxx

Amazing

I am a different generation to you. As such I never had the pressure you youngsters have today.
I do however have a beautiful daughter so is strong and confident in all she does and knows we love her no matter what. The pressure today to conform and all the images showing how successful should look like are just that images.
You can be who ever you want and do whatever you want.

Didn't finish

Okay where to start. This is a great plot the main protagonist is funny and endearing despite the hardships she suffers.
The main problem with this is the spelling and grammar and a few plot holes. This is a shame because you are trying to tackle some serious subject matter but because of the terrible grammar and spelling it just detracts from it, almost making fun and so making it all a bit offensive to be honest.
I good edit and this would be a pleasure to read I stopped halfway through book two as I simply couldn't be bothered.
I am not the first to point all this out and it is a shame you haven't done anything about it.

Enjoyed

I enjoyed this. As many have said it is short but I noticed that it has been published so that might explain that.
It took a while to get going and I have to admit in the first chapters I skipped as they repeated. It could do with tightening up in places.
Certainly a good read and well done. Nice that there was no gratuitous sex and the violence was handled very well. Still chilling without being graphic.
Good job, well done.

loved

I really liked this . I found the information dumping hard to absorb. This is a common mistake so don't be hard on your self. I had to learn not to do it and I had very harsh critics.
I also think she would have had more interaction with Matt before everything happened. Maybe built their relationship while at school. Otherwise why would she automatically trust him. Maybe add a bit more of her domestic situation to build the tension.
Apart from that really loved it. I haven't read any witch stories before and this was delightful and well thought out.

Lovely

I have never read anything like this in a long time. It was well thought out and beautifully executed. A couple of grammar issues but doesn't everything on here as most are first drafts.
The only thing that disappointed me was the end it felt rushed after the thoughtfulness of the rest of the story.
Other than that a great read and a job well done.
Thank you.

Amazing

Blown away. Everything was done beautifully. The world building was awesome the characters so believable.
The plot weaves around with a subtle splendour as it sucks you in.
Thank you so much.
Has to be one of the best books I have read on this site.
Why this isn't on all the best lists instead of the silly girly giddiness you have to wade through to find it.
An amazing job done well.

Loved

This was great. The two main characters were funny and endearing. The dialogue between them flowed nicely and kept you reading.
Well done loved it . I have never read a story quite like this before and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thank you

Brilliant

One of the best bit of writing I have read on here. I can't fault it. Hadmy here in my youth as I wanted the main character to survive.
Just brilliant. Thank you

Interesting

I liked this it was very different. It does however have some technical issues. You need to show not tell. Nearly all chapter one was tell and very long paragraphs. Breaking it up with dialogue is always good. Maybe a witty bit of chatter of the children comparing each other and who they take after, who is the best, prettiest etc my children do that all the time.
I liked that you added in another language I love that sort of thing so thank you.
The next technical issue is it starts in first person and then in chapter five changes to third person.
Other wise a nice gentle read. That made me chuckle in places.

okay

Lovely story, but it needs work.
1:- Speech always starts the paragraph someone speaks new paragraph.
2:- Show don't tell, this is really hard and most authors really struggle but if you nail it your writing will be amazing.
3:- comma after speech full stop at end of sentence speech started.
4:- If you are English only one set of speech marks, if you are American double speech marks. Not many know this but there you go. Agents love it if you get it right.
Keep going lovely story everyone has to start somewhere.

lovely

This was lovely. So emotional as she said goodbye to the boy she loved.
I liked the way she spoke in Spanish with the translation that you went to that trouble. Nice touch.
It might have been nice to read the bit when he came home halfway through. Explore what she was doing, how they had both had to grow up so quickly.
I would suggest you get someone with English as a first language just to go through it and pick up any discrepancy in translation.
But really lovely highly recommend.

Need More

Couldn't give full marks for plot and story as there isn't really enough. But the bit I read was very good and a little intriguing. Already I want to know how they got there and where they are going and more importantly why are they going to die.

Interesting

I enjoyed this first chapter but felt maybe the first chapter or maybe first two chapters could be about why there dragons were taken away. Then maybe why her dad had the book what did he do to earn it was he good, was he promised his children could have their dragons back .
Then automatically you have her reason to behave the way she does you have the outline for your plot. If that makes sense.
I would be intrigued to Read the rest.

Turn off

I liked this story but honestly the god stuff turned me off.
Immediately you are alienating a vast amount of readers and that is a shame.

show don't tell

Nice story but as others have said the paragraphs are long. This could be corrected if you show the reader rather than tell the reader. This was always drummed into me when I was learning how to write. You might find it easier to write if you changed the perspective. Maybe try it in the third person see if that works better.
Having said all that I liked Eve and was intrigued into how the story would unfold.

Fantastic

This was possibly the saddest most brilliant piece of writing I have read in a long time.
It was so well done with its astonishing insight into the world of a lonely girl who although was physically bullied it was the apathy that surrounded her that made this the amazing piece of writing that it is.
Showing that too do nothing is as destructive as landing a physical punch.

Intriguing

This drew me in and I looked forward to where it was going. At first I wasn't sure it was a werewolf book. I did find parts confusing and wasn't always sure what the main characters motivation was. But despite that well worth a read.

Enjoyed

This was lovely. Beautifully written and a lovely read. only one thing show don't tell. Other than that lovely. Great read well done.

Very good

A lovely take on an overdone story. I almost didn't bother with it as it seemed to be going in a predictable way. Then it twisted and wow. Great job perfect ending I am really impressed.
Thank you

Beautiful

This is quite possibly the best of this genre I have ever read. I liked that you wrote the beginning with there first meeting as a little girl. Many wouldn't have bothered. Because of this attention to detail the story is set up perfectly. Both characters grow and evolve in a natural way pulling the reader along.
Voicing all the characters inner thoughts are both amusing and clever.
Thank you for such an enjoyable read.

Disappointed

This started so well and the main character was strong. But what was her motivation. Yes we know she wants freedom but why what does she want to do with it once she gains it. Then she meets her mate and suddenly she abandons whatever her plan was.
It would be nice to know more of her thoughts. Surly finding her mate is just another form of captivity no matter who he is. The palace didn't seem guarded she wasn't watched why couldn't she just walk out.
It just got predictable.

Utterly Charming

This is beautiful. Captures Englishness perfectly anyone who appreciates Monty Python is good by me.
This is worth the read the attention to detail is amazing.
I enjoyed it all and so look forward to the rest.
Good job well done.

well done

This was beautifully written. You touched on some dark subjects but wrote them with understanding.
Thank you

Wolf heart

This was a nice werewolf story with a twist.
The technical writing needs some work. The paragraphs are far too long and make reading hard work.
Although the world building was good in places it wasn't consistent. All I ever knew about Steven was he had green eyes. You need to describe the characters all the way through not in one lump at the beginning. I liked Cora as a main character she allowed me to empathise with her and so engage in her story.
I think with some editing this could be amazing.
Well done for an enjoyable read. Thank you.

Enjoyed

This was a very enjoyable read. It was well planed and executed. I would recommend you go over it and tidy it up.
It did think it lost momentum in early chapters.
Other wise great and look forward to the next one.

Let me be your hero

It started really well, but I think the erotic nature of the story detracted from the overall plot.
Switching from first person to third person was unnecessary unless you decide to write it all in third person.
There were some issues with Grammar but as a first draft I wouldn't worry too much until it is finished and then you can go back and mop them up.
People make a big fuss about that and I think it is unnecessary and a bit petty.
Since your writing is good and I am sure you will go over it you don't need me pointing that out.
I look forward to the rest.
Good job.

Liked

I liked this it is well written although you might want to go over it and correct some word errors.
I am English so cant comment on high school and college as we don't have those in the same way you do.
I enjoyed the story the main character was engaging with enough mystery to keep you reading.
Good job.

Interesting

A very god start very emotional. Try to show rather than tell that will shorten paragraphs. Also careful with the religious content. Its okay to put it in as it is fundamental to the plot and story but this is fiction. Read as escapism so always bare that in mind. You don't want to offend your readers.
For numbers write the word.
Other than that great job look forward to the rest.

surprised

Loved this only two chapters and already I am invested in the characters. Will Chris get out alive ? How did he get there to start with? What is the baby? Certainly not an ordinary baby.
Yeah the paragraphs are long but the whole premiss is so captivating I hardly noticed.
Good job well done.

Brilliant

Amazing wonderful read. Sorry nothing else to add. Brilliant.

Enjoyed

I really enjoyed this can find no fault with it. It is engaging and funny. A clever and unique plot.
The writing is nicely done. Occasionally a tense is off but hey who doesn't do that.
It is a shame it isn't finished.
But very enjoyable.

Trials

I will be perfectly honest if I wasn't reading this for the lift I would have stopped at chapter three. Without a comment or review I would have moved quietly on without fuss.
The book I was promised in the blurb I didn't get. I don't know why it had all the elements to be great. It just didn't capture my imagination. The main character was insipid at best. She starts off without her memory after 15 chapters I still as a reader don't know why so it becomes irrelevant. As a character she doesn't progress. She just drifts about without a purpose. We are told she spends twenty years. Can I say that again twenty years with a man she doesn't love because she cant remember how to cook. She eventual becomes a vampire Queen but again why?
The character who was interesting we find out nothing because it is written in the first person from the point of view of the least interesting character. So we have a brilliant moody handsome vampire swoon. Sadly that is it we don't know why he protects her marks her makes her his mate etc.
We have a book of vampire rules which is introduced at the beginning and sort of forgotten. The main character does abide by these rules but not by using the book. I wanted to read that book.
For me it lacked substance. I think a back story would help and I don't mean about the human husband I would personally take that out completely.
This needs a good ruthless edit, early chapters are repetitive. With a lot of telling not showing although later on you do get to grips with that with some great dialogue.
The plot and idea are unique and clever the execution and story telling needs a rethink.
Having read the other reviews lots of people like it. So with some work it could be amazing. As it is now if it came across my agents or publishers desk it would be a no.
I am sorry it isn't more positive. You have loads of positive reviews so yes I could of said something nice and meaningless but that wouldn't move you or your writing forward.
Give her a burning reason to do the things she does. Being attracted to mister moody isn't enough. Again I think it needs some back story.

Amazing

This was great and a lovely read. Couldn't fault the writing. The plot was great and the main characters were relatable and made you root for them to succeed.
Great job thank you.

Really enjoyed

I liked this it was different with a strong female lead. I also liked that you were brave enough to do the whole thing in just her point of view. This is very hard to do so congratulations.
I only gave four for writing style as you are aware that paragraphs are too long and you need to show not tell.
I.E in chapter twenty three she talks about the doctor. Why not show that conversation and her interaction with the doctor instead of her telling us.
If this is your first go at writing a novel then congratulations you have done an amazing job. The story kept up its pace with no obvious filler chapters slowing it down. The plot twist and turned with an explosive ending.
I will certainly recommend this.

Loved

Really enjoyed this but feel there is enough to write a review. Please write some more it is amazing.

Good

Not much to write really as having read all the other reviews every thing that needed to be said has been.
I did enjoy the story it felt incomplete in places and didn't always flow. Enjoyable read, believable amusing characters that made the reader invest in them.

Interested

Okay I said I would right a review so here it is. I like the story but the struggle you are having is it should be in the third person not first. How many real books have you read that does the back and forth none I suspect. Having said that there was a trend a few years ago.
If it was in the third person we would get a better insight. We would get a better insight into how Asenna feels about everything let her tell the story through her observations along with his. It needs more show and less tell. You do that through dialogue.
Trust me it isn't hard. After all the books you like Game of thrones, harry potter, lord of the rings, all third person. The books not so keen on eg Twilight, fifty shades first person. So ask which have more substance.
Unless you are going to do one point of view all the way through which trust me is hard I did with Adam and there are rules which at the moment you are breaking and that is why you aren't happy.
The characters are believable and it is nice to have such a strong female lead without the usual simpering.
The story is good.
I hope this helps.

Both

I have read both books now and I now feel I can write an honest review. I only gave three stars for plot because I wasn't sure what the actual plot was.
The first book started with a lot of promise. An intriguing concept.
It was interesting and engaging as these two totally different people interacted.
I still don't know why the second woman was introduced as she didn't move the plot or the story forward.
There was a lot of repetition.
However the world building was amazing and very convincing, transporting the reader to this untamed, wild planet.
In short it needs some serious and brave editing. If it doesn't move the plot forward no matter how good the writing remove it. My first agent explained that one along with my editor.
The second book was more of the same. The pregnancy being the main story line but this needs to be explained and explored more throughly to make the claims believable.
Current world views and politics should be avoided if you don't want to offend your readers or date your book.

love

Absolutely loving this. Beautifully written, engaging and refreshingly different. Why aren't you published because I would pay to read this.
Plot , characters everything is on point. You make me want to write better.
Why aren't more people reading this?
Thank you

Enjoyed

I liked the premise it was certainly a different take on things. Yes it needs a good edit and the punctuation sorting but you know that.
In the first chapter there was a lot of repetition and you need to show not tell.
Other wise great job.

Interesting

This was so different. Loved the way you wrote it even though it made me feel uncomfortable to read. But that is the gift of a great story teller.

Okay

So this isn't my thing at all. It just seems to be trendy at the moment to have a same sex couple somewhere in the story. To be honest it doesn't add anything in fact it probably turns the majority of people away. That certainly seems to be the reaction from the reviews I have read.
Yes, it is well written but I have read this story by other authors and it has been done better. Tani Hanes on Wattpad has a swim series and it is excellent. Making it same sex isn't enough there needs to be something more.

Enjoyed

Having read the other reviews I don't have that much to add. To be honest I didn't finish it. It just didn't hold my attention. It seemed to take a long time for anything to happen and when it did the momentum didn't keep going.
I didn't understand why she kept going back to Lady Harper. It wasn't like she was being compelled to with all the information she had she didn't need too. After all her brother was far away and safe. I was waiting for her moment of enlightenment but it never came.
Its a nice story and well written.

Lovely

This is lovely. Beautiful and well written. You really should finish it.
I don't talk about grammar. Waste of time and just shows ignorance . After all none of the books on here are final drafts or have had a professional edit.
Any way I liked it so keep going.

Bored

This started brilliantly but twenty two chapters in and the protagonists still haven't met. Too many unnecessary flash backs chapters that repeat and don't move the story on. After such a great start it got boring and honestly I lost interest.
This is a common mistake of new authors and a good editor would cut out all the chapters that aren't needed e.g the mothers point of view it didn't move the plot forward so why put it in. The flash backs didn't move the story on so cut them or write the scene properly.
We found outing the fist chapter that her father was cruel we didn't need another four chapters telling us that.
We know Hunter is weak and damaged in the first time you introduce him so why do we need four or so chapters telling us that.
I gave up after twenty two chapters as nothing had happened and you had lost momentum.
A readers time is precious don't squander it.
Sorry all a shame really.

Enjoyed

I did enjoy this not sure where it is going.
Jade is believable and it is nice to have a strong female lead without all the ridiculous slut shaming that you young girls seem to go in for.
The story was well written and the characters came alive in a believable way. It would be nice to read it in its entirety and find out how the characters progress.
I don't make comment on grammar as most things on here are first drafts and a good edit will fix most issues.
Over all nicely done and a fun read.

Lovely

This was amazing and oh so clever keeping the suspense all the way through. I thought the ending was brave but I completely understand it.
How we followed what appeared to be a hum drum life slowly evolving into so much more.
I don't bother discussing grammar it is purple and pointless as any professional editing will pick it up and correct it. The only thing I will say is the first few chapters had some authorial intrusion that could easily be corrected.
Would love to read the sequel.

Brilliant

What can I say. This was a fantastic piece of writing. Pulling you in with the mundaneness of the first two chapters. The plot twisted and kept you guessing right up to the end, which was brilliant in its bluntness leaving you wondering.
I congratulate the author. Taking a difficult subject and telling it without sentimentality. With out gratuitous sex and violence but doing it subtly making it all the more real. The two main characters easily believable as their relationship unfolded with in the world they inhabited.
Welldone.

Enjoyed

I enjoyed reading this although I felt I entered the story half way through even though it was chapter one.
It did pull me in but all the way through I felt as if I had missed something.
I don't make remarks about punctuation or grammar as it isn't my place unless it is obviously lacking. Also I am English and we are a bit different here. Having said that it al flowed nicely and I enjoyed it.
It left me intrigued as to who the characters are and how their relationship will develop.

Brilliant

OMG what can I say the first book was amazing with description. Pulling in the reader as it weaved the world of dragons. The man protagonist is so lovely you just want him to survive all his battles.
This is a must read.

Hooked

Had me hooked from the start. Going to get into trouble now as I read it lol I have read the whole thing now and have enjoyed it. It is a bit like hunger games and goblet of fire. With a number of other influences. I is well written and engaging and I am rooting for him to win. I am looking forward to his magic appearing as I am sure it will. Great book. moving on to book two now.
Amazing fully recommend.

love this

I really enjoyed this it was engaging and well written. The characters immediately intrigued me and the plot the little I got of it was well thought out. Would love to read more.
Your use of description is brilliant reminding me of the school I attended lol

interesting

From reading the first chapter I could gather English is perhaps not your first language. As with all first drafts it needs work. Even in the first person some rules are the same the main point is show don't tell. you don't need to indicate who is speaking. When describing be subtle it shouldn't be a shopping list of attributes. Maybe get another character to describe the main character. Other wise great first start keep going.

Lunas Secret

Very strong start pulled you straight in. Nice to have a strong female lead I hope it stays that way after the first chapter events. Nicely written and a pleasant read.
It all flows along and I was soon sucked in with characters that were believable.

untitled love

I love this. Right from the start it pulls you in wanting to know who these people are and how they fit into the world they inhabit. This is how all good stories start pulling you in making the reader curious. Well done amazing writing that does exactly that.

Who are you

Found the first chapter intriguing. I couldn't understand why she tolerated the abuse even though it was explained in chapter two it still seemed odd and that the boy friend was complicit by accepting it. The main character was easy to empathise with and I am intrigued to know how she extracts herself from the situation.

Hybrid Mate

Could be a great story. It needs fleshing out. We meet the main characters but have no idea about there world. There is very little description. A lot of telling rather than showing. What is the Town like what does the pack house look like. Describe the surrounding area. what does her bedroom look like. More description would make it more erotic.
You are building a world that a reader would want to inhabit.

Lovely

Having read all the books now I did enjoy them. They have some technical and grammar issues but nothing that can't be sorted with a good edit.
The only other thing to watch out for is repetition.
Other than that enjoyed them.

The Ghost of you

I only read the first chapter. The premise was interesting that is why I started to read but it needs fleshing out. What does Kai look like, how old is he, why was he out at night in the rain. I didn't really like him as a character he didn't pull me in.