Daniel Gesek

Hollister

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Thrilling and Inspiring.

What starts out as a typical experience at a Christian college quickly turns into a very visual experience as the reader is plunged into dreams and visions depicting the horrors that await those not under Christ's protection once they die. LMDietrich strikes a good balance between story flow and biblical content. Even when the story is touching on sensitive faith-based topics you never get the sense that it is trying to beat you over the head with a bible disguised as a thriller. As such the characters and their plight remains compelling throughout. All in all, it was an excellent read that kept me up, turning pages, far later into the night that I should have reasonably allowed.

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Suspend your disbelief

I really loved the opening prologue as it painted a great back drop for the story. Unfortunately I found myself having to forcibly suspend my disbelief to get back into the story when I got stuck thinking about how a detail here or there didn't make scene.

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Pros and Cons of Descendants

The author has done a wonderful job of crafting the visual experience throughout this story. Each scene is easy to picture and adds a depth of immersion. The author has taken great care in crafting a background/history/origin for her paranormal creatures, primarily vampires and demons. While the overall storyline is solid and well thought out there are a few issues with this work that require the author's attention. The first and foremost of these is Repetitive Emphasis. Unfortunately, from the first chapter right on through to the epilogue this is an issue. A point of dialogue or introspections will be repeated several times for emphasis. While the sentence structure is different the message conveyed to the reader is the same over and over. Repetitive emphasis is like salt. A little goes a long way and over much of it will spoil an otherwise well-written work. This often leads character motivations to feel overly dramatic and thus cheapen an otherwise tense or touching moment. There is far less of this in the 2nd half, however, as more action takes the place of dialogue and introspections. With this aside, the other issue is POV. The work is clearly 3rd person omniscient however is written primarily as 3rd limited. Instead of utilizing the full power of the omniscient point of view the reader is thrust from one head to another then back again. To the reader, if you are looking for an interesting paranormal story with a few good twists and you should give it a read. To the Author, I highly recommend picking up a few NY times best sellers that are written from omniscient and using them to refine your style. Also, Jerry Jenkins has resources of self-editing, cutting and sentence crispness that I believe you would find helpful. Keep up the great work and never stop writing!

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It has potential

The prologue is essentially one large info dump disguised as a news article. So for the purposes of this review, I will be leaving it out of my ratings as it does not do justice to the author's skill on display in the first chapter.
This chapter is very well written stylistically. I like how special attention is given to details like the cost of food and rarity of certain items. It gives the reader a better understanding of the situation the main character finds them self in. The scenes are fleshed out a vivid without getting bogged down with excessive detail, and the interactions between the characters though brief are believable. But the plot… The majority of this chapter is dedicated to relaying to the reader the severe danger of this quest, and the dire conditions of the general population. While the dire situation should prove a motive for a person to want to take on the risk of the quest, this does not seem to be the case for William. Instead, we see him dreading the test results and his death is nearly certain should he be selected. We do not see from his point of view the juxtaposition of his or his family’s personal situation that would drive him to want to do well on the test. Since the reader has no frame of reference for this test the plot feels like it has a gaping hole. If William believes he is sure to die on the quest why not just deliberately score poorly to guarantee he will not be selected? Given the authors skill with words, a little more attention to detail in plot crafting and this will surely be a delight to read once complete.

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Excellent

The author provides an excellent picture of the tortues of middle school. The story is well written and engaging. Overall it's an interesting story with a lot left to tell as of this review.

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