Daniel C. North

Waukesha

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Love the story

I've never really been a fan of werewolf stories, so I can't say I had any idea what I was in store for here. But, despite some technical issues that seem common here, I really liked the story so far. Maybe it's because I'm a romantic, maybe it's because the story left on such a hanger there. Either way, keep writing and posting this, I think it'll be a good novel or novella or whatever else you have planned.

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Good plot, average writing

I'm going to assume this is a first draft, so I'm going to ignore mentioning the technicals. That being said, the plot of this story is pretty good. I'd like a little more backstory on Anodine itself (is it another universe? a planet?), and the story itself seems to move pretty fast. Also, including the birthday after the attack seems unrealistic. At least, the nonchalant attitude of most of the characters. Jake seems too cool with almost dying, and Lizeth's mother doesn't seem to care about it either. Even after a week, you'd expect her to maybe stick closer to Lizeth for safety, not write "have fun' letters. Still, with a little lengthening and reorganizing of the plot, the story is really fun.

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A wonderfully written story

Being gay myself, I find it a little hard to not include bias here. But, trying to look past that I’m very impressed by the story and characters. There were some obvious spelling and grammar mistakes, even in the opening description of the story. But, they became less noticeable over time, which might’ve just been me getting too wrapped into the story to notice. Anyway, I thought the characters were fairly fleshed out, although Madison seemed to be just slightly less so than Noah, at least in his first few appearances. The plot of the story can be very clichéd, but I think that adds some extra charm to a story that seemed to have enough already. Keep writing and please check grammar and spelling more carefully as to not detract from an otherwise brilliant experience so far.

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A good story, some issues though

As a whole, the story concept intrigues me greatly. Other than a multitude of punctuation errors and run-on sentences, and the story being a little too fast, I really like the characters, setting, and the whole mystery factor that came in at the beginning.

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Interesting Plot

While there are lots of mistakes technically, and the plot itself goes by too fast, if the first chapter could be stretched into two or three I’d say the pacing and story would both be good. As is, keep writing and improving. Good job!

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