David Lightfoot

Not following anyone yet

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Another great read in the Heartbeat serial

I am enjoying what I am reading so far in this second entry of the Heartbeat series. Though the focus of this story is not on the happy couple of Alex Corwynn and now Megan Beal-Corwynn, author Maisy Menold still combines two very interesting themes in this work: the pop music scene and the star’s struggles out of the spotlight. Here, we meet singer Paul Lenci as he deals not only with family problems related directly and indirectly to his sexuality, but the fact that he now has a teenaged half-sister, Maia Lenci – a musical prodigy who’s just escaped foster care. Here, Paul is determined to overstep his domineering mother (who has been successfully crafted as a villainess) to give the girl a better life. It’s here that Menold succeeds in making the reader understand Paul’s struggle and root for him as he works to make things right for a girl who deserves to make it in the same line of work. Another element worth noting is Paul’s same-sex lover, Joey, who works as his support system in both his health and life issues. In this mix, Menold also has us dealing with toxic family members and a broken foster care system that is truer to life than any work of fiction can describe. Although this work is incomplete as of this review, what the author has done so far has you hoping that everything can work out in the hero’s favour.

There are some of the same punctuation and grammar issues, including writing numbers in numerical form rather than word form (2 instead of “two”), but what I’ve noticed in the later chapters is the fact that two or three words come together to form one word. Examples include “Joeyprobably” in chapter 14, “thatCoke” in chapter 13, and a long occurrence where Joey is speaking in French in chapter 12. Although it sounds as if I’m fretting over nothing, this can be very distracting to the reader who’ll wonder if it should really be two or more words. However, with some skillful editing, this can be fixed. Despite this, the plot is very well-formulated; and as I’ve said, Paul is a very likeable character, easy to root for. Just like Ellen DeGeneres, you don’t even care about his sexuality, which makes you root for Paul and Joey and want to defend them to the nay-sayers. Menold should also get kudos for her ability to weave Italian and French languages in with English in the dialogue. Needless to say, as I continue to read, it will be interesting to see how Maia’s relationship with Paul will pan out, if Paul and Joey can survive Paul’s family, and if the newly-formed siblings can expose the DHS for putting children in degrading foster homes and nearly destroying Maia’s chances for fame and glory. (The last one, I’m actually looking forward to.) Yet another must-read from Maisy Menold.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

An unforgettable story of love, idol worship and overcoming obstacles

In “Unspoken Vows”, author Maisy Menold brings to life a fantasy that every teenage fan of pop bands wish to make reality, and a young woman with a dark past struggling to free herself of the pain that was all too common in the time of wild hair bands, synthetic new wave and pop idols that graced the pages of teen magazines. In the midst of this is a former pop sensation Alex Corwynn who has grown up to a mature and responsible man in the music industry, and he emerges as the “white knight” perfect match for Megan Beal. Rare is the occasion that I invest in soap opera couples, or couples with soap opera qualities, but Alex’s devotion to Megan makes you root for them to be together, praying that they never split up, knowing that loving someone who can teach her to love will be the only way for Megan to heal. Menold succeeds in making the romantic elements of the relationship work as they develop and blossom into solid and secure future, like a flower that takes an entire novel to bloom. Readers of the modernized romance novel will appreciate the connection between Alex and Megan’s relationship and Megan’s trek to overcome the dark shadows – if they can handle the dramatic situations that she gets herself into – while fans of 80’s and perhaps 90’s music will be interested in the elements of Alex’s music career and how he handles himself as both music mogul and famous figure in AIDS advocacy. In the writing process, Menold succeeds in combining these two elements to create two believable main characters and the obstacles that face them.

There are a few issues with wording and paragraph structure and repetition. I’ve noticed a couple of instances where one paragraph is broken up by an incomplete sentence or word, and the next paragraph begins with the rest of the sentence. Also, by “repetition,” I talk about the fact that the author has managed to write two chapters in one, then repeated the action in the second chapter in the very next chapter. This may be nothing, but it can be a bit of a turn-off to readers in a published book. As well, there are some issues with punctuation (I’ve certainly noticed some places where commas can be helpful,) but these are all things that can be fixed with some professional and eagle-eyed editing. Nevertheless, these issues did little to distract me from an investing and interesting plot. As well, there were some scenes where conversation is exchanged and all we see are quotes. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the reader just may get either bored or confused about who is saying what, especially if readers aren’t into the trading of small talk back and forth. I would suggest adding a “beat” of action from the speaker where appropriate either before or after the quote, so the reader can at least keep track of who’s speaking. However, if the readers can overcome this, the results are an unforgettable tale of falling in love with someone you’ve idolized for many years while facing and overcoming challenges and demons with support and love. A brilliant story, and I look forward to what else the Heartbeat series has in store.

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.