Dean R Boic

Brilliant

As the title above suggests, I think your story is brilliant, given that I have only read the prologue. However, I am sold that it is a good story. I am compelled to read what happens next, which for an author is a desired reaction from a reader. Grammatically there are a few faux pa's there and there but most of the groundwork has been done so an editor who picks it up shouldn't have much work to do. Personally, I think you need to paraphrase and work on your paragraphing more. Try divide new thought processes into new paragraphs. If you think that the next line deviates from the previous line of thought then start a new paragraph instead. Do I think someone else should read it? Yes, definitely! Especially if you like a very long read. That's a good thing.

Touching story

Very moving story. It helps that most of us can relate too. Very well written. Good luck in the contest!

That Ghoul Ava - Review in kind

a very well-thought piece of writing. Initially I thought the author was a woman because of the sincerity of the words; no offence. As I continued reading I became more and more impressed. If this in fact a novel or novel-to-be then I recommend it to all to read. Highly descriptive and deep with humour to take the edge off. It also has a degree of "humanity". There is a great deal one can relate to in this story

Note from a rival competitor

I like the story, I like the characters and I very much like the writing style; you have a way of building up the excitement with your words alone, ie paragraphing, and using one sentence now and then between paragraphs that signal a clear change in dynamic to the previous paragraph. The protagonist is likable and 'human', in that she battles with cultural diversity daily. This brings in an element of empathy to an otherwise difficult story to relate to; that of a detective. For who can really say that they relate to such a situation, unless they are in fact detectives themselves? The 'bad guy' is described to such an extent that he is not pigeon-holed into that stereotypical antagonist category that most villains seem to end up in, yet he is unique and 'dark' enough to be taken seriously, very seriously. Grammatically, there are minimal hiccups, which I'm sure you will correct before it's completion, but otherwise I find no problems with your story. I have not read the first book, but will most certainly make the effort. 'The Bluebell Informant', however, manages to stand strong on its own, and I would recommend it to anyone who is fan of thriller and mystery. Gripping stuff.

Raw and unfiltered....and worth reading..

Awesome read! really like the use of profanity and well slang words that are used, because as we all know, and all should know, that is exactly how people speak in the real world, and if they don't speak it, it's how they think it. Huge fan of the 'no-holds-barred' writing style, and if I'm to point out anyone in this contest that I recognise as a true adversary it would be this....in terms of subject matter and writing style. Give my novel a read if you can: Tales of Kalash PART I: Uncensored Chronicles of the Inappropriate. It's also in the Grand Novel Contest. Nice work, worthy contender!

Very well-written and captivating

I found this story to be sincere and real, despite it being a fantasy. There are things that one can relate to and it feels as though when reading it you are growing with the main character. She has faults like all people and is aware of them. I like the narrative style; its adds a sense of urgency to it that blends in well with the plot. I hope this will be a full-length novel and look forward to reading more. I recommend this to anyone who likes fantasy and adventure, and if you like female protagonists