-
Writers WriteAuthors can write and upload their manuscripts on Inkit for free and writers retain 100% of their copyrights whilst writing on Inkitt
-
Readers DiscoverReaders can read all books for free, without any ads and give the authors feedback.
-
We PublishBooks that perform well based on their reader engagement are published on our Galatea app.
How It Works
Andrew Noles
Andover, Ohio
I am just a guy who loves literature in all forms. I can't get enough of the written word. It is like manna to me, and like a chef who loves food, I often try out my own recipes with words.
A good start
Before you read any further, remember that this is just my opinion.
I felt the story was a bit disjointed. I think it may be because of the lack of punctuation. I know that some people write in a different style for electronic texts, but for me, the use of punctuation makes it much easier to follow. I write in Microsoft Word. It helps with the grammar and misspelled words.
I also get that you are writing how people actually speak, rather than how we usually read, which can be very different at times. I do the same thing. I hear the dialogue in my mind, and try to write it the way it sounds. However, I think we also have to be mindful of how the text flows. I think with some tweaking in places, you may be surprised at how the story starts to come together.
If I may suggest: try reading the story out loud to yourself. Speak every word aloud, just as it is written, and see how it sounds to your ears.
I feel that there is potential here, and now, I want to know what happened in grammar school!
