Andrew Noles

Andover, Ohio

I am just a guy who loves literature in all forms. I can't get enough of the written word. It is like manna to me, and like a chef who loves food, I often try out my own recipes with words.

Not following anyone yet

No followers yet

Overall Rating
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

A good start

Before you read any further, remember that this is just my opinion.

I felt the story was a bit disjointed. I think it may be because of the lack of punctuation. I know that some people write in a different style for electronic texts, but for me, the use of punctuation makes it much easier to follow. I write in Microsoft Word. It helps with the grammar and misspelled words.

I also get that you are writing how people actually speak, rather than how we usually read, which can be very different at times. I do the same thing. I hear the dialogue in my mind, and try to write it the way it sounds. However, I think we also have to be mindful of how the text flows. I think with some tweaking in places, you may be surprised at how the story starts to come together.

If I may suggest: try reading the story out loud to yourself. Speak every word aloud, just as it is written, and see how it sounds to your ears.

I feel that there is potential here, and now, I want to know what happened in grammar school!

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.