Edge Valmond

Margate

Hope everyone is doing well. Came over from wattpad. Whole story behind that. Anyway, check in for updates. Email: starbreaker1994@yahoo.com

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Pretty good

First off, I will like to comment on this style. It is unusual I should say, but it got me puzzled. Slowly getting longer, and retracting to create a level of depth I suppose to say. From what I can tell there is a division. Those pure breds are supposed to be above all else from what I can see, however. The character is not like them, due to being able to bleed. This is being looked down upon. So they try to hide it, but they cannot. It gives a good sense of norms, and how one can look down on another for being different. I do not think I noticed errors. It might just be the style of the writing, which works with it pretty well. Over all, I can recommend this.

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Interesting

To start off, I do not believe I noticed grammatical errors. Either that or it faded under my eyes. If there is one thing, I am not sure if it is intention, ‘The Czar.’ It feels out of place, so I cannot say much on this. The depth of it is good for a start. There appears to be doubt within the character as well. From what I read, it looks like they are in the process of an evacuation, there even appears to be political conflict it seems. For a first chapter, it transitions well, and it does definitely have me wanting to know more.

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Nice

Alright, first off. I would like to say this is an entertaining read. The guy got fired, has some jokes to spare, pretty much got back stabbed. Gonna have to continue reading this. However, I have noticed one hard problem. It is either a missing punctuation or a comma that is of necessity. Honestly, I do not have a problem with the style, story, etc. I am not a hard judge, but I will say that you just need to punctuate better. This is a phenomenal story.

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Rise of Almighty

I will start off to say. I like the concept of the story. Giving off a bit of a mysterious vibe I should say. Making the feeling with that woman a bit more how should I say, intriguing. Due to how she disappears. The beginning within the prologue does great to grip at the reader. However, this is where I have to stop with this. I am aware that grammar and punctuation are not your strong point. I really do feel like if you had a decent grasp on this, it can be something amazing. You already have the plot in check.

Try and remember, when it comes to dialogue tags. Periods always goes inside. Try to also remember that commas are used as a small stop. A quick breather I can say, while a period brings it to a full stop. These can also be used stylistically to bring out a bit more of a unique situation to your story.

One more thing is that, for smaller body paragraphs. If they are close together, try merging them. This way it gives the story a bit more bulk I can say. I like your style of writing, hence bringing the action within it. As well as the premise of the plot.

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Battle For The Photon Core

Now, I have read this back on wattpad. Still reading it now as well. You will find a blend of humor, seriousness, and a wide lovable cast. Grammar is on point, however can be adjusted a bit. Then again, we all need to improve ourselves ya know. Not to spoil anything to come, so head on in. 🐕

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Artistica

Overall a solid grasp. Good flow, grammar, structure, and so on. No doubt some improvements to be made, but who doesn’t need it? Anyhow, the transitioning from scene to scene goes along well, and starts to tie in the more important events. Maybe it started out a bit rough, but it quickly begins to smoothen out.

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The Crimson Treaty

The writing is clean, however, the form that is used threw me off just a bit. However, it matters not. It is very engaging. Giving a great feel for the situation at hand. The differing views, and the period at hand. The word style flows cleanly, and the story really gets one thinking. Honestly, I really cannot say anything negative about it. It progresses nicely, introduces the character well, and provides a gripping point that would really fall under morals. Great job here. ^^

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Interesting

A solid flow, giving more into the depths of what life can be I suppose. Might be overthinking this. Anyhow, aside from a few grammatical errors. It flows pretty well. The words transitions the scene fluently, which complements the narrative. Giving off more of a grim feeling I can say.

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Hmmm

I guess this is supposed to be in the response to police brutality. This is a touchy matter, but I can see where this is going. Not to go triggering anyone here. So I will stop here. It is short and to the point. Does well to highlight the gravity of the situation, and what is happening.

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Cursed

Alright just a bit of a break down. One I do not range writing style. Since this is widely subjective. Hence it is the least accurate scaling. So that there will be left at max. Now from what I can gather. The character has been captured during a war, with some kind of ability. I believe the chapter mentioned regenerative ones. It is an interesting concept. Which I will be honest, I have seen it before, but from the context given. I am also expecting more in depth of an action. Given that since this character has been tortured, and they let the person live. They are gonna have plans for them.

Now my only real issue with this is spelling errors. I do not believe I noticed punctuation ones. Though I did come across about five spelling errors. Maybe even some more may have eluded my eyes. Since this is first person as well. I did not want to get too much into the structure, though this might be clarified later on.

A bit more to add on. While I do like the concept. When getting into chapter 2, it fades from the Fantasy pretty fast. I suppose this is for a build up. Though between one and two, I also got very different vibes. It could even out. Also, I am confused about what tense you are using. Some are present, some are past. It does not appear to be using past perfect, or present perfect as well.

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His Obsession

I seriously do not know why I have to type in the name of the book.

Anyway. I do not read Fanfic’s, but I will make an exception this once. Mainly because I am unusually curious with how this will go.

1. I do not have any problems with the grammar or punctuations. If there is a mistake, it likely slipped under my eye. You got this down.

2. Plot

Cannot really range this, other than it involves some hacker. You’ve done well to transition the story. I am not gonna deduct points here. Mainly because there is not enough information for me to statically make a hard decision.

3. Style

This is subjective, hence my opinion is next to irrelevant here. However, I do find it good.

Overall, from what I can see. This here has promise, and yeah. I am seriously curious how this will go. Probably breaking my own rules here, but just this once.

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Fleeting Moments

Since this is poetry, whole new method of grading. Though, I ain’t gonna go into detail. To cut things short. Pretty much how life can be. A fleeting moment in which one should take advantage of, as it can go away just as fast. That or I am far off from the point. 🤨

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