elcid423

Philadelphia, PA

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Valkyries abound

Norwood is easily the one character you'd love to outright hate. I enjoyed the way you brought each character to life with their own unique personalities. The overall story is very intriguing and I am eager to read more. Nice job!

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The Wing Elite

This first chapter in the story of Alex Reyes was very good. The author's writing style was captivating and kept me reading line after line. The descriptions ofwhere the character was and what she was feeling as she entered the academy was very good. I felt the scene as if I were actually there. The emotions flowing forther from Alex could be felt as well. Overall, chapter one was compelling enough to continue reading and see what happens next. Good job!

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Bewitching

I read three chapters of the Autmn Witch and enjoyed it. Attila and Reggie are characters that have so much potential to develop and come alive. The story itself is intriguing and has the reader asking 'What's next?". Although the first chaper was a little slow, two and three opened it up a bit. The dialogue could use some polishing where the reader could really feel the emotion between the characters. Perhaps a little more detail could be added in, allowing the reacder to visualize the characters and places, fleshing out what is happening in the scene being read. Overall a good read. Good job and keep on writing!!

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Promising

Die for love opens with immediate action, which is good. But where is the why? The main character is supposed to be frightened out of her wits, but I did not get that from the opening chapter. The dialogue presented itself as a tad bit stiff that stumbled at times, then picks itself up. I found myself wanting to know more of the surroundings, to hear the fear in her voice, the hear the menace in his. it is written as a life or death situation, but I did not get the full feel of that. This story has promise and I am intrigued in seeing how the characters develope. I believe the author's writing style can also develop with attention to detail, surroundings and delivery of the scene between characters. Be a little more clearer with your intent and dialogue. As always, grammar is the bane of every aspiring writer that can easily be fixed. Overall, good job!

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potential

I enjoyed reading the first three chapters of Ill-Omen.. The overall plot of the story is intriguing and has promise. The characters are rich with potential to grow and bring the story to life. I have read quite a few werewolf stories and I can honestly say that with a revamping of the dialogue and an eye towards more description in surroundings and feeling towards the scene, it will prove to be one of the better ones out there. Grammar is the bane of all aspiring writers, as I can attest to. If the author can go back and tweak the dialogue between characters and fix certain parts of grammar, I am sure the story will shine with the brilliance of the stars themselves.. I look forward to reading more in the future.

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Intriguing

Quite story set amid the Trump era oppression of ethnic groups. I enjoyed reading your story and how you brought your character to life. The decisions that are laid on her lap after getting canned and finding little todd make for the perfect storm in her life. Add to that the two male counterparts that she must juggle and you have added another level of complexity to your story. Well written!!

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Good job

Your view on the descendants of the evil villains of Disney is spot on. Your descriptions of the characters and how they have taken on the traits of their individual parents came through quite well. The dialogue moved smoothly and did not lose its pace. Over all a splendid job. I look forward to seeing more of the descendants from you.

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By the Sea

I enjoyed reading the author's take on the popular Percy Jackson series. The point of view from his sister is quite interesting and gives a view into that world that Riordan did not. The main character came alive through her words as she described her life growing up as the child of a god. The story had a smooth flow to it as the author integrated events from Riordan's books into her own narrative. I definitely felt a connection to the world she was describing as well as the characters she created.. There was never a lull in dialogue or stoppage of story flow. I enjoyed reading her version and look forward to more.

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Good start

I have read the first two chapters and like the premise of the story. There are a few things to work out, like the Fire Dragons burrowing into a nuclear power plant without consequences happening, but working that idea can be fixed easily as well as some grammatical errors I came across. As for the main character, I do not get a strong feeling from her or emotion as to what she is and the situation she has found herself in. I'd like to se her develop more. Overall, I am interested in reading more about this story and where it eventually leads.

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