Elena C.C.

Looking forward for more!

This was a short, but entertaining read. The pace is exactly enough and the twists are fun. The first story is, without doubt, the most surprising of the two.
The writing style is also easy to go through. Not overly complicated, but also not lacking. A light style --contrasting with the themes that are explored. Love that.
I definitely want to read more chapters.

Great idea, maybe could use some editing

The plot is really interesting and had me wanting to learn more.

However, I found it can get a little confusing. Specially with the change between memories and present events without a warning! Maybe you can add something that indicates that change.

For example: in chapter 2, the protagonist is running away in panic. Then he suddenly looks up and starts talking to an archivist. That change there had me re-reading the same bit three times in order to understand what was happening. This repeats itself a few times over the next chapters.

Punctuation can use some revision as well.

Going to be reading more soon! Cheers.

Good read. Could be even better with some tweaks

Strong plot, very interesting concept! Had me curious from the start.

At some points, though, it felt as if it was getting redundant. An example I can think of from the top of my head is when the 'hey' passes through the people. That was more than a single paragraph dedicated only to describing the sound, which I think was not too relevant for the plot --while other things, perhaps more important, are described very quickly and superficially.

Descriptions definitely don't have to be too flowery or excessive, but I think it's good when authors give that little extra depth to the points that are (are going to be) important.

There's a few grammar issues that had me re-reading some dialogue too. Try separating the "" carefully to avoid such. A lot of word repetition too --for instance, 'orderly'.

Overall, a good read. Cheers!

Very creative!

I must say I would've never though of this plot, ever. It's fairly funny and a fun read.

I do believe your writing needs some improving (take it with a grain of salt since I'm not a native english speaker). For instance, at some points you seem to swap verb tenses in the middle of sentences. Some strange punctuation too. But that can always be improved with lots of writing, which you seem to be doing already.

Keep on, it's great to see young authors :)