Good read. Could be even better with some tweaks
Strong plot, very interesting concept! Had me curious from the start.
Read the story now
At some points, though, it felt as if it was getting redundant. An example I can think of from the top of my head is when the 'hey' passes through the people. That was more than a single paragraph dedicated only to describing the sound, which I think was not too relevant for the plot --while other things, perhaps more important, are described very quickly and superficially.
Descriptions definitely don't have to be too flowery or excessive, but I think it's good when authors give that little extra depth to the points that are (are going to be) important.
There's a few grammar issues that had me re-reading some dialogue too. Try separating the "" carefully to avoid such. A lot of word repetition too --for instance, 'orderly'.
Overall, a good read. Cheers!