Ellie

Good Book

Overall, I liked your book, however, there are a few parts where you can improve on.

Cover and Title- Personally, I really liked your title, however, I think you could improve on your cover. Your cover is plain and it doesn't catch the reader's attention. If I were you, I would design my own cover with more color, so that it would be catchy.

Blurb- I think your blurb is good and will urge the reader to read your book.

The Chapters- I think you could improve on your pacing, as it is a little bit too fast. There were also some punctuation mistakes, which if you fix, will help your book a lot. I also think you could add more detail. If you add more detail, it will also improve your pacing, so you can kill two birds with one stone.

All in all, I enjoyed reading your book and encourage you to keep writing.

A Good Start

Overall, I really liked your book and believe that it has a great start. However, there are a few spots where you can improve.

Title and Cover- They're great, nothing needs to change there.

Blurb- Again, this is great.

The Chapters- There are a few things that I could recommend you do. For example, I would work on adding more description to your characters. I can imagine their personalities clearly but not their physical appearance. Another thing I would do is write about the society. Is it a rich community with tall, shining, skyscrapers or tiny wooden sheds as houses? This could also help a lot and give the reader an idea of how the society is set up. Moving on to your pacing, I think its great. It's not too fast, nor too slow. Keep it up! Your writing style is amazing, too. However, I think you could improve on your grammar. They're mostly dialogue mistakes that don't interfere with the story too much, but they are obvious. One way to correct this is to ask a friend, family member, or teacher with good English to help you. Another thing you could do if you don't want anyone you know to read your story (which is me) is to insert it into an online grammar checker or just read some published books and observe how they are written. That's my preferred method. Don't take my suggestions to heart though; they are my personal opinions so I recommend you ask more people, either people you know or people from Inkitt, to give you more suggestions.

All in all, I really enjoyed your book and is excited to read the next chapter!

-Author of The Tale of the King

A Good Beginning

Overall, I think you have a very good beginning to a book with a lot of potential. However, there are a few things you could change to make it even better.

Title and Cover- They're great; nothing needs to change there.

Blurb- Your blurb really draws the reader in, however, personally, I think it gives away too much. When we start reading the book, every time the word "Sadie" is mentioned, I think, "she will die soon." So if I were you, I would mention the fact that someone dies, but I wouldn't be so specific about it.

The Chapters- You have a great book, especially considering the fact that this is your first time writing one. However, I think your pacing could be slower and you could improve on your grammar and punctuation. Another thing I thought I might mention is that personally, I was confused about the fairies. So do they live in a world with magic? What kind of magic? Do they have wands like in Harry Potter or just have to wave their hands around to cast a spell? Is there a special school for magic? Specifying this could help your story a lot. Also, how does the grandmother know that the fairies sent the name? Is she half-fairy or can talk to them? Again, specifying this could help a lot.

Overall, you have a great start and I am looking forward to reading the next chapter!

:A Good Start.

Overall, I really liked your story, but there are a few things where you can improve on. For example, you have a very unique writing style, but I have conflicted feelings about it. On one hand, the uniqueness helps encourage the reader to keep reading, on the other hand, I'm not used to it, so I recommend you get more reviews to see what other people like. The other thing I thought I might mention is that there were a few punctuation and grammar mistakes, which can be fixed easily, so it isn't a really big issue. Otherwise, I really like your book and encourage you to keep writing!

Great Book

Overall, I can definitely say that this is one of the best books that I have ever read. There were a few typos; nothing too major though, and there was a paragraph in bold (I don't know if you intended that, but I thought I might as well point it out). Another thing I might mention: I've only read 11 chapters of it so far, but I haven't read anything about the Terruth Academy. If I were you, I would shorten the part about where they live with Gabriella, and get straight to how they get enrolled in the academy. Also, personally, I would prefer a lot more dialogue, but that's my opinion. Do what you think is best for your book; you are obviously a talented writer. Another thing I thought I might point out: you use a lot of parenthesis, especially in the first few chapters. Using a few is fine, but I think that that amount of parenthesis isn't necessary. Again, that is my personal opinion, do what you think is best. Another thing: I noticed that you currently have a total of 102 chapters. I think you could separate it into two different books. Sometimes writing one really long book can discourage people from reading it; I personally was intimidated by the length of your book. Different books in a series are like different chapters. By separating them, you let the reader take a break, if you know what I mean. For example, I don't think anyone would read the Harry Potter series if all of the books were combined into one gigantic one. I think you have a lot of talent and I am looking forwards to the day when I see this book in a bookstore!

-Ellie
P.S. Sorry if this is a long review

Update- I just finished the entire book (it took me quite a while to finish) and all I can say is that the author did a wonderful job! I highly encourage the author to finish the book and get it published. I will be looking forward to reading the next chapter!

Good Book

Overall, I think this is a good book, but I have a few recommendations for you.

Title and Cover- Personally, I like the title and I think it connects to the story, however, I think you could improve on your cover. Although many people may tell you to not judge a book by its cover, the only reason you will pick up and read a book at a library or bookstore is because it has an interesting cover. I understand why you chose that cover, but I think you could put in a picture of a couple in love or something like that. This is my personal opinion, do what you think is best for your story.

Blurb- The only thing I would recommend you change about the blurb is the first sentence, which is very long. I would break it up into two different sentences. Otherwise, your blurb efficiently hooks the reader and encourages the reader to keep reading.

The Chapters- I think you have a strong start, but you could add a bit more detail. I also think that you could've slowed your pacing (which I admit I'm guilty of, too). One thing that helped me slow down the story is to add more detail. For example, in the third paragraph in the chapter, "The First Time I See Them," I think you could've described Camryn and her boyfriend in more detail. Although I'm not the author, so I don't know what they looked like, this is what I would've written: "She has long wild curly hair with a red dress that matches perfectly with her hair and white heels. He has a red and white striped polo shirt with tight jeans and black sneakers." You don't have to use the exact description I used, but adding more details can both slow the story down and make it easier for the reader to imagine the setting and characters.

All in all, you have a strong start but could improve on some things. Again, all of these are my personal opinion, so do what you think is best. I am looking forwards to seeing your story being published. Keep writing!

-Ellie

A Great Read

This book has potential and has kept me on the edge of my seat. However, I have identified a few things that the author, Nikki Lee Taylor, can improve on. Personally, I thought the pacing was too slow in the first chapter. The other chapters were fine. I don't think you should describe everything as much, especially in the part where Gabriel was working up his courage to enter the house. Add a bit of excitement in the first few chapters; this keeps the reader hooked. However, don't rush through it too much. The trick is to find the right pacing. Another thing you could do is to make a short prologue in the beginning, maybe when Gabriel turned into a strigoi. Make it brief and mysterious. For inspiration, check the first chapter in the Harry Potter series. The prologue will give the reader more information about Gabriel, as well as making your book more interesting. Another thing I thought you could improve on is where Gabriel fought the wolf in the first chapter. In my (limited) experience in writing fight scenes, I found that keeping it short and simple does the trick. This means that you should not focus on the tiny little details in the fight, but the big overall picture. Also, I would recommend you extend the fight scene too. Personally, I thought that the fight was too short and wasn't as dramatic as I would've liked it. I also found a few grammar and punctuation mistakes. Since I write in American English and you write in British English, don't take this part very seriously. There are a few past and present tense mistakes and I also found that you have a habit of writing three periods instead of a dash. From my knowledge, you use three periods when the character trails off naturally while a dash is for when the character unexpectedly stops talking.

For example:

"What do you think's going to happen?" George asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "There are so many possibilities. We could die, win, lose, survive..."

OR

"What do you think's going to happen?" George asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "There are so many possibilities. We could die, win, lose, survive-"
A loud crash echoed throughout the house. They jumped up, ready to defend themselves.

Again, don't take my advice on punctuation and grammar. Actually, don't take any of my feedback personally. Just do whatever you think is best. This is my opinion, and there are many people who will disagree with me. I can definitely say that one day, this book will be sitting on a bookshelf. Keep writing!

-Ellie

Amazing

I can definitely say that I am hooked. I love mythology and one day, your book will definitely end up in a bookstore. However, I do have a few suggestions. For one thing, your book reminds me of Percy Jackson, so be careful. You don't want to get copyrighted. I also thought that your pacing was too fast. I don't blame you; I know what it feels like to want to get to the most exciting part of the story. I recommend you add more detail and descriptions. There are also a few punctuation and grammar mistakes, mostly with commas. Try using Grammarly; it helps me a lot.

Thank you,
Ellie

Great book

I really enjoyed reading this book and following all of your characters through their life. I do recommend, however, to clarify a few points. For example, in the first chapter, you said that her house was located at the bottom. Please explain that it is at the bottom of a hill. This part confused me, so it would improve your story greatly be adding that point. Also, for the cover, I recommend you add something more creative (you can change the font of your words). I found that many of the best covers lie at the bottom of the list of pictures, so you can keep scrolling down until you reach the bottom. Otherwise, this was a great book and is recommended for anyone!

-Ellie

Great Book

I really liked your plot, however, there are a few spots where you can improve on.

Improve grammar and punctuation and this book will be perfect (there's also a few mistakes in the blurb). You can add Grammarly to your browser in order to help you fix that. For example:

"Hello" he said. This is wrong.

"Hello," he said. This is correct. You must add a comma, question mark, or exclamation mark at the end of dialogues. This is the main problem I found in your book.

I found a few run-on sentences. Try making the sentences shorter.

Also, in the title, you must capitalize the word "Hatred."

If you improve on these, your book will be perfect!

-Ellie

Great book

S.du Plessis weaved an incredible adventure out of all of her characters. However, there are a few things where the book can improve.

1. Please split it into paragraphs. Paragraphs are like cues for the reader. When you stop reading a book, it is more likely to be at the end of a paragraph, not in the middle of one. It can help the reader ease in and out of the book.
2. I have found a few grammar and punctuation mistakes. I recommend you add Grammarly to your browser, it helps me a lot.
3. Besides in the book, I also found a few mistakes in the blurb. Please fix these.

Otherwise, S.du Plessis has a great start to her book and I would recommend it to everyone!

-Ellie

Good Book

I really enjoyed this book, with its sense of mystery and adventure. What I would recommend the author to do, however, is to make the book longer. With this plot, you can write a longer book, which means the chances of being published is higher. I love this book and would recommend it to everyone!

-Ellie

Great!

I have to say, I greatly enjoyed my book. I loved how you described everything, and I can learn a lot from you! Your book is amazing, and keep up the good work! Looking forward to seeing this in a bookstore someday!

-Ellie

Great Book

I have to say, I really enjoyed this book! Romance usually isn't my thing, but I loved how you mixed in the romance with fantasy. Like your other book, this one also has a few punctuation and grammar mistakes. With just one quick skim through the book, you can fix everything. Otherwise, I have truly enjoyed this book and keep up the good work!

-Ellie

Great Book!

I love this book, with its mythology. I have not found any flaws in this book, and the only suggestion I have is to probably find a better cover. I do love your current cover, but try to find something unique, to draw in the reader. Although everyone says not to judge a book by its cover, we all do. Find something that is unique and stands out from the other books. Otherwise, this is a great book!

-Ellie

Great Book!

This book is amazing, and I loved it! The only suggestions I have is to make more dialogue, and to write more about Xia, and about her personality, family, and history. Otherwise, this book is fabulous and I would recommend it to everyone!

Good Book

I prefer your new version of your book, but again, there are a few mistakes. You should add a few commas here and there, and maybe make the pace a bit slower. I recommend you slowly add in the romance in the second or third chapter, and give a bit more detail about how they met.

-Ellie

Good Book

This is a good book, however, there seems to be many grammar mistakes. For example, in chapter two (Winter Vandelann) you wrote: "'Sorry, I'm in the way." He uttered and stood aside with his eyes aimed at the ground.'" Instead, you should write: "'Sorry, I'm in the way," he uttered and stood aside with his eyes aimed at the ground.'" I recommend you reread your book carefully to correct all of these mistakes. Otherwise, this is a good book.

A Great Book!

This is a great book, but you could improve it in a few ways. I think that the pacing was a bit too fast, I would like to hear more about Marie and Lucy, and about Kevin. Otherwise, it is a great book!

Great book

This book is amazing, and I would recommend it to anyone. I suggest you maybe write a bit more about the characters, and their background. There is also a few writing mistakes in the book, but otherwise, the book is great!

A Good Book

Overall, I really enjoyed reading your book, but I have a few recommendations for where you can improve.

Title and Cover- Many people say, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but everyone does. The only way someone will pick up your book on a bookshelf with thousands of other books on it is because it has an interesting title and/or cover. Your title is good, but I think you can improve on the cover. I would center the title and put "Medieval Mayhem" under the series name, otherwise people would read it as, "The Book of 'Medieval Mayhem' Roderick." I would also center your name. One thing you could also do is ask someone to design a cover for you, whether a professional one or a person who just likes doing it for fun. https://www.wattpadwriters.com/t/book-covers-and-character-aesthetics-fast-delivery-open-now/97461 The link leads to a website on Wattpad where a person is offering to design free covers and the only thing she asks for return is for you to comment on her book. That's where I got my cover. You could also find a professional cover designer, but it would cost money, so I recommend you do the former option.

Blurb- The blurb is also very important, as it is the second thing a reader will see when they pick up your book. I have decided not to read countless books just because it has a boring blurb. What you wrote for your blurb is something that is meant for the "About the Author" part. For your teaser, it barely tells you anything about the story. What does the magical book do? Why does it do it? What happens when they travel to another world?

The Chapters- To put it simply, I like your writing style, but your punctuation and your plot drags your rating down. Your pacing is good, not too fast, but not too slow, either. Your descriptions are good, too. They allow the reader to visualize what the characters and setting looks like. However, you can also improve in a few spots. Let's start with the grammar and punctuation. Having a few mistakes is fine, but too many will stop the flow of the story and can be very confusing to read. I would recommend you ask someone to help you proofread your book. Your plot is also dragging your story's rating down. I feel like your book is a mix of two different common plots. The main character's late father or mother leaves the main character a locked chest, with a magical item inside. That's the first plot. The second one is that a magical book transports the main character to a magical world or back in time, where they have the save the world. If you make a few edits to your book, you can easily change the plot. For example, the book could become another item or they could find the book lying around in a ditch.

Overall, you have a strong start to a book with a lot of potential, and with a few edits, can be published. Keep up the good work!

-The author of The Tale of the King

An Amazing Book

I have to say that I truly enjoyed reading this book. There are a few spots, however, where I think you can improve on.

Title and Cover- They're both perfect, although I have to say that I prefer your cover on Amazon.

Blurb- Your blurb has a sense of mystery and gives a good first impression on the reader. In fact, that was one of the reasons I agreed to read your story although it was in the romance genre! The only thing that you could improve on in the blurb is that you could make it flow more smoothly. It's a bit choppy and fixing that could help a lot.

The Chapters- I put most of my opinions in the feedback, which you should get in your email. The only thing that I didn't add is that it can be a bit choppy at times. I also think you can improve on your grammar. I recommend you ask a friend, teacher, or parent to read over your book and ask them to correct your mistakes.

Otherwise, you have a powerful story that has a lot of potential to become a bestselling book one day. Keep up the great work!

-Author of The Tale of the King

A Great Short Story

I really enjoyed reading your amazing short story (it's one of the best short stories that I have ever read) but there are a few parts where you can improve on.

Title and Cover- While some people may say, "never judge a book by its cover," everyone always does. The only way someone will pick to read your story over thousands and millions of others is because it either has an interesting title and cover. Your title is good. The reader can obviously see the relationship between the title and the story, however, you may want to consider changing it so that it has a sense of mystery, which might capture the reader's attention. My first impression of your story was from your title. I thought it was a romance story written from the perspective of the husband. I did not realize that it would turn into a mystery and thriller story. As for your cover, I don't think the person in the picture looks like the wife. In the beginning, you wrote that the wife had put up her hair in a bun for her wedding. Usually, it is hard to put your hair up into a bun if you had short hair like the person on the cover does. Also, I could barely see the words, "A short story" under the title. You may want to fix that too.

Blurb- A blurb is also very important, as I have decided not to read many books because it does not have an interesting blurb even though it has a great title and cover. For some reason, I can't view your blurb, so I'm going to dedicate this section on your teaser instead. The teaser is like a mini version of the blurb. Like your title, it does not have a sense of mystery in it. Having a sense of mystery is especially important in the blurb/teaser as it will make the reader think, "what happens in this story?"

The Chapter- One word- amazing. You have the perfect pacing- not too fast nor too slow, and have just enough description to let the reader visualize the character, yet not too much so that it doesn't slow down the plot. The only problem is that the readers won't have a lot of chance to connect to the main character before he gets murdered. Yes, we'll feel bad for him, but his death won't have a lasting impression on us. I recommend you describe his personality more, as so far all we know about him is that he loves his wife. Are his parents alive? Does he have any siblings? What does he do for a living? By answering these questions, it'll help your story a lot.

Overall, this is a great short story and is recommended for anyone who loves a thrilling mystery story.

-The author of The Tale of the King

A Great Start

Personally, I really enjoyed reading your book and I believe that it has potential. However, there are a few things you could change to make it even better.

Title and Cover- I think that your title is great, nothing needs to change there. However, for your cover, I recommend you add some brighter colors to catch the reader's eye. A lot of people say, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but the only way someone will pick up a book on a bookshelf with hundreds of other books on it is because it has an interesting cover. If you don't like the options that Inkitt gives you, you can also design your own, which doesn't take a lot of time.

Blurb- I think it's great. It encourages the reader to keep reading and has a sense of mystery.

The Chapters- First, I think I should start with the different creatures. I love how you described how they look and their powers. However, for the Lady of the Sea, you only wrote that it was similar to the Lady of the Woods. Even if they are similar, they have to have some differences, right? Otherwise, what would be the point of having those two different creatures? I recommend you clarify their differences. For the actual chapters, I can say that I love your writing style and the way you depicted each scene. However, I found some grammar and punctuation mistakes, which if you fix, could help your story a lot. Another thing you could do is write the story in the format of a diary. In a diary, having a few grammar mistakes is fine. However, whichever format you choose, you still need to skim through your book and correct the mistakes. Another thing I thought I might mention is that we don't know what any of the characters look like. All we can do is use our imagination. Therefore, adding descriptions to the character's appearance can help a lot. One last thing- I noticed that you have a lot of long paragraphs. Shortening them can also help a lot.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading your book. These are all my personal opinions, so don't take them to heart. Share this book with your friends and family and/or Inkitt to see what they think. I am looking forward to reading the next chapter!

-Ellie

A Great Book

Overall, I really enjoyed reading your book. The only reason I took a star away is that I like reading books with more action and less description, although that is my personal opinion. You have great grammar, a wonderful plot, realistic characters, and I am looking forwards to the day when this book is being published. Keep writing!

Great Poem

I can't say that I am an expert in poems, but I definitely enjoyed reading your poem. There were a few typos, but poems don't necessarily follow the rules of grammar, so don't let that discourage you. All in all, there isn't much I can say besides the fact that I truly enjoyed reading this and will encourage you to keep writing!

A Wonderful Start

Cursed with Oblivion has a wonderful start and is a delightful read for anyone who longs for romance. The author spun a thrilling tale of a girl cursed with oblivion, a boy blessed with attention, and a story of love. The only reason I took a star away is because I'm not a fan of romance. However, if I were a fan, than I would've given this book five stars. Keep writing!

-Ellie

Great Book

Fragment of Destiny is a truly amazing work of art for sci-fi and fantasy lovers. There are a few punctuation mistakes here and there, but nothing too major. Also, I noticed that although this book takes place in the future, it says that it is the year is "1560." Another thing I noticed was the time. In the first chapter, you wrote that the time was "06:45," while in the others you wrote "1150 hours." Otherwise, there are no mistakes. Keep writing!

Great Potential

Throughout my life, I have read many books. Believe me when I say that this is one of the best books that I have ever read. I did find a few punctuation and grammar mistakes, although they are scarce and are nothing major. Try letting the book sit for a few weeks before you go back and edit it; it works wonders for me. Another thing I thought that you could improve on is fine-tuning the character's emotions. Personally, I didn't feel much sympathy for the characters, especially when they experience life-changing events, like when Josh gets herded into the snowy tundra or when Luna shows Josh her tattoos. Change these, and there is nothing to criticize about your book. I've been on Inkitt for a few months, and this is the best review I have given anyone. I am expecting to see this book in a bookstore someday. Keep writing!

-Ellie

Good Book

I have to say, I rather enjoyed this book. A few recommendations: You should start a new paragraph every time a different person speaks. Also, in the beginning, I would recommend to shorten the song a little. Although I loved the song and the lyrics, it would be boring to read about it for so long. I really enjoyed this book, and anyone who loves a great romance book would be dying for the chance to read this!

-Ellie

Good Book

Just like one of the other books I have reviewed, this book seems like it is written for children. Again, children would probably not understand romance, but you can easily change it so that its main audience is adults. Otherwise, this is a wonderful book that anyone would love to read!

-Ellie

Good book

In this book, it seems like the target audience is children. However, I don't think romance would be a good genre for children. This is because children wouldn't understand the concept of romance. Otherwise, I would recommend this book to everyone!

-Ellie

Good book

I really like your book, any child would love this book! Keep on writing and good luck with getting your book published!

-Ellie

Good Book

I have really enjoyed this book, it kept me on the edge of my seat. However, there are a few things you could improve on. For example, I found a few punctuation and grammar mistakes. I don't know whether you are writing in American English or British English, but if you are writing in the latter, then ignore this. Also, I would like it if you would keep the pacing a bit slower. I admit, my pacing is a bit fast, too. It would be better if you slow the pacing, maybe describe everything a bit more. Otherwise, this is a good book and is recommended for anyone who likes romance!

-Ellie

Good Book

I have to say, this book is excellent. If you enjoy reading romance and fantasy, this book is definitely for you! I loved this book and would recommend it to everyone.

-Ellie

Good Book

I really enjoyed your book, but you would've gotten a higher rating if you would work on your grammar and punctuation a bit more. I have found many mistakes, and there are many parts where you could improve on. For example, you could add more detail, and split the long paragraphs into smaller ones. Reread the book and fix all the mistakes. Otherwise, I loved your plot and keep up the good work!

-Ellie

Amazing!

I can say that this is one of the best books I've ever read. Unlike me, your pacing is in the perfect tempo; not too fast or too slow. I don't think that it is possible to criticize this book in any way, and I would recommend this to everyone!

Amazing

I have greatly enjoyed this book, I do not regret reading it! What I could recommend is to skim through your book and correct some of your punctuation and grammar mistakes. If not for that small problem, it would be five stars for everything!

Great Book!

I have enjoyed reading this book; it is amazing! This book reminds me of the Hunger Games, you may want to be careful so that you're not copying them. I recommend you not to write that they were "forced to survive," because that's when I really made the connection with the Hunger Games. Plus, you could change the "Games," to another name, something completely different from the Hunger Games. Also, in the part where one of your characters were reading Harry Potter, I recommend you delete the part where you mention that Sirius dies. I'm also a huge Harry Potter fan and have read the entire series multiple times, however, some other people may have only gotten to book four and would not want you to spoil that for them. Otherwise, your book is great and I would recommend it to everyone!

-Ellie

Great Book!

I have rarely read a book that draws me in more. You have a fabulous start and I love your plot. It may be just me, but I would prefer it if your book has a bit more dialogue. It would make your book more interesting. Otherwise, your book is amazing and it is written very well! Well done!

-Ellie

Great Book!

Who knew? You can write a review for your own book!

Amazing

I can say that this is an amazing book. There are a few missing commas here and there, and sometimes it's hard to figure out who is saying what, but otherwise, this book is great! I recommend you let the book sit for a while before rereading it and fixing all the mistakes. Otherwise, I loved this book!

-Ellie

Great Book

This is my second time reviewing this book, and I have to say that it improved greatly! I have really enjoyed the book, and I would recommend it to everyone. The one part you could improve on is the punctuation. Again, as I said in my last review, please remember to put a punctuation point at the end of dialogues. Otherwise, this book is amazing and keep up the good work!

-Ellie

Great Book

This book has an amazing start. In the beginning, I got a bit confused about the fact that they were babies, so you might want to make it a bit clearer. Otherwise, I love your plot and would recommend it to everyone.

Amazing

You have an amazing book, I love it! The plot is amazing, however, there seems to be a few grammar mistakes throughout the book. I also think you could give a bit more detail about the Beastlings. Overall, this is a great book and I hope you continue writing this!

An Adventure Like No Other

In her book, "Dreamy Reality," Hadley sweeps her reader away on an adventure like no other. I can imagine the characters down to every strand of their hair, and I would recommend this book to anyone who loves a thrilling, exciting, book. This is my second time reviewing this book, and I have to say that it improved greatly over the last few months. This book has had me hooked and we all want to know where this adventure takes us. Keep writing, Hadley!

-Ellie

Great book

While I love your plot, there are a few spots you can improve on. For example, I think that the pacing is a bit fast. I would like to know more about Emma and her personality. Maybe start the book off at the end of her school day, and receiving the letter later in the day. Also, when she received the letter, why did she accept the fact that her father was alive so quickly? Put yourself in her shoes. You have believed your father was dead your whole life, and suddenly, you receive a letter from him. At first, you would doubt the letter. And then, you would slowly realize that it is your father because you recognize his handwriting and signature. Now not sure whether he is alive or not, you would go to the prison and visit him. You couldn't believe your eyes. You would question him, ask whether he is an imposter. Ask him questions only he would know before you truly accepted that fact that your father was alive and well. Otherwise, I love your plot, and with a bit of improvement, you could even get this book published!

-Ellie