And the plot thickens...
Alrighty then! I´m just going to start out by saying that this is really quite a good story. I´m going to go over every point, saying what was good and what needed improvement.
Read the story now
Firstly, plot. Its a good premise so far. The story had some very intersting points, especially with the glasses. I love the idea, its so interesting! On the other hand, its a bit slow for chapter four. By now it should be getting more exiting, otherwise the reader might get bored. Personally I would have made this into two chapters rather than four, that way it feels like its just the beginning. Also, the plot is a bit unclear so far. I dont know if that is intentional or not, but I am very confused about what type of "stories" Peter is talking about. Ancient Greece? Rome? English/German folklore? Scandinavian? All of them? Its need to be specified. Usually an author would pick only one culture and then stick with that, but you´ve hinted at several of them. Goblins (and Peter is a goblin, not a dwarf, dwarfs dont have pointy teeth) are more northern Europe and satyres belong in Greek Mythology. This is something that could either play out really well or turn into a shipwreck. Tread carefully.
The characters in this story is what reallt kept it going, especially Jessica. As a young woman with OCD tendencies myself, I think the character is very well written. I like how she is and I think she is complex enough for these four chapters. But dont forget to evolve her as a character as the story progresses, its a common misstake I see many people make. I also like Peter and Giles. Especially Giles because he seems like a good guy but not a nice guy. Its a good contrast and it gives the story more deepth. Not all good characters are angels.
Writing style, over all very good. Text has a very nice flow, none of the hiccups you usually find. Dialouges could be better formated, its difficult to keep track of who ways what if there is alot of talking.
Technical style is the same. There was a few sentences in the beginning that need a look-over but other than that it looks great.
Overall a very good story, cant wait to read more!