Fabia Scali-Warner

Had me chuckling out loud

Really fun story that had me chuckling out loud more than once! I loved the care dedicated to the language, like the use of the British term "lorry" rather than "truck" from Trevor. My impression is it might need a little bit of editing towards the end (there are a few typos), and the dream paragraphs are a little unclear, but I really enjoyed it! Will review on Amazon :)
Also I don't know if this helps, and I struggled a lot with my blurb as well: I'm not sure your synopsis and book cover do your novel justice - maybe a little tweaking could make the novel shine more.

Great potential

Hi I feel like the story has some great potential, it feels like a Disney/Harry Potter mashup. Hard to tell how the story will develop through. What really needs work is the editing and proofreading, but that is something than can be fixed when the story is complete (although personally I feel that typos and errors in general can distract from the story).

Great Premise, Great Voice

The concept of the Heart Readers is an excellent premise, and well developed throughout the chapters. I look forward to reading the complete story. The writing style is also unique, with very strong descriptions of feeling interpreted through powers of synesthesia. I feel like only the first chapter has been edited, and the following ones are a draft; but the polished first chapter is great.

Excellent

Wow. This works reminds me of Allen Ginsberg, and at times even Prevert. The arching storyline is interesting, but I loved the care given to every verse. What a gem!

Good start

I'm not an expert in the romance genre. Having said this, the beginning feels strong and to the point, girl likes boy, boy likes girl... How will it all develop? The direction would appear to be a contemporary Pride and Prejudice, don't know if other twists are in the works.

Style needs work

I'll start with what I liked: everything is described extremely visually, so it's easy to imagine what is going on. There's a strictly YA setting, nothing wrong with that... The main stylistic issue is there is no consistency in the tense used in the chapter, and this is extremely confusing. I don't mind the use of the present to indicate action, like a camera following what's going on - but it's a tough choice to carry throughout the book, which is why most novels are safely written in the past tense. For the plot, it's hard to tell at this early stage!

Describing Social Decay

This story is about everything literally going to s**t after a zombie apocalypse. It's a rough, hallucinated ride that is skillfully crafted - the language is coarse, but it makes sense, Who would bother about being polite when zombies are running amok? One may not be into the genre, and still appreciate that in the absurdity of it all, the behavior of the characters is actually quite realistic. There are a few typos, but nothing that can't be solves with some proofreading.