The overall action is to epic for one chapter
I enjoyed the idea of an elf setting on a journey to fulfill his destiny and gain the crown of Terra ( I suspect this is an alternate version of our planet) however I feel like you've crammed a whole lot of action in one small chapter.
I would love to learn more about the world in which Tyne lived. Who was Tyne before having that vision? Who was his family? How could he afford investing so much time and resources in his training?
How were the relations between elves and humans in your universe? Why did the elves leave their ancestral home in the first place? There's just so much you need to elaborate.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I suspect you want to expand this into a trilogy and you posted the outline of the story here on inkitt so get some feedback on your concept.
Loved it!
Great story.You have some really good material there. You should do a series of these. stories, maybe even a comic strip. I don't know why, but reading this reminded me of Monty Python's Holy Grail. It has a similar sense of humor.
Read the story nowI want to know more
I really enjoyed your story.It's easy to follow and it gives a clear image of the main character's struggle.
The only reason why I gave you a four star rating for the plot is that it left me very confuse about who the hero is , what happened to him and how come he has the power of summoning rain. If this is a part from a larger story I would love to know where I can find the rest.
