G.W.O. Bellis

Ottawa

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Promising!

I've only read the first few chapters, but I can tell that Escape has some great potential. The plot is of the right thickness, and it seems that Laurisa has been careful to remember to narrate from the first person consistently.

I do have thoughts on the paragraph structure. Many of these blocks of words can be broken up into smaller ones, easier to read through. This is important when changing between characters, events, and shifts of focus--or even to emphasize something.

Punctuation is well placed though one or two minor grammatical issues came up here and there--nothing a good self-edit can't fix once the work is all done. I know I had to do that several times to make my own work just right in this department.

Overall, as aforementioned, this work shows promise and I'll be keeping an eye on its evolution!

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A promising start!

Ryan has successfully captured that dread of isolation, desperation, desolation and despair from the start. The future for the Flying Hope looks a bit bleak, at least from what I could tell. Hopefully things take a turn for the better, and Homer learns from his mistakes!

I have some thoughts on the way the paragraphs are written. I feel when separate characters are saying or doing separate things, they should, with a few exceptions, have their own separate paragraphs to avoid confusion. Starting another set of events or actions in the environment should also get their own paragraph or break of some kind to clarify that something new is happening.

Otherwise I think this is a promising beginning and I am looking forward to how this story continues to evolve. Best of success!

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A deep, slow-building read

I'll start with the incredible level of detail written in "Pull," in just how much breadth and depth there seems to be on everything that leads up to the present point, all the backstory and all the struggles mankind or--whatever it had become--had to go through to survive.

An area I consider in need of improvement would be taking some of the power away from the narrator and returning it to the characters much earlier on. This reads more like a cross between someone's journal and a chronology, and I personally found it difficult to get into. The hook just wasn't there, but I can see how a few changes would put it there for me.

My bottom line here is that Pull has significant potential in the absolutely stunning level of lore and worldbuilding. I just felt like the plot wasn't included soon enough, and that could be fleshed out some more earlier on to entice a wider audience.

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Incredibly intense!

I have to say, the prologue alone made my skin crawl!

Now that that's out of the way, there's a clear understanding of people's emotions, made colourfully complex in the relationship between Connor and Leyla, that Travis has grasped perfectly in his writing style. It's written in the third person but you can just feel, almost all the time, as though it's still through Connor's eyes, with his vantage point on the rest of the world around him. Even the mannerisms of the narrator seem more Connor-ish.

I rather enjoyed how the prologue was a glimpse into the future, compared to the first chapter. It gives you that feeling that this is what's coming up, and you don't necessarily like it, but you just have to keep reading to connect the dots!

I've only gone a few chapters in now, but I know I'm enticed enough that I'll be finishing this novel. Even from where I am, I can highly recommend it to anyone who likes something that's clever, edge-of-your-seat intense and compelling you back for more.

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