It's there. (Edited Review)
First off, I LOVE HER KIDS! Honestly, I'm a bit of a sucker for kids because they're just so cute and innocent. I also love how Ebony is portrayed as a strong independent woman here. I actually feel a lot for your female characters, and I think their characters were written pretty well. They were solid and relatable. [However, I'm a bit disappointed with your male characters in this story as they don't feel as authentic as your female characters. They feel made up, that's just how I viewed them while reading your story.] - SCRATCH THIS? Once you get to like..20 chapters or so, you'll see a huge difference!!! I swear, I'm a convert to Aeneas now. < 3
Read the story now
[Also, I'm not gonna lie and say that I liked how the romance was progressing. Don't get me wrong. The story plot is great. It has true potential and the thing that's going on with her wolf throughout the story keeps me on my toes. However, their relationship just feels a bit awkward and strained for me. There's a missing 'it' factor in that department for me, and sad to say, I don't really feel the romantic connection between both of them on a deeper level, or maybe it's too early to tell since I've only read about half of the story so far? We'll see about that. :D] - Uhm...yeah. I WAS TOO EARLY. They have amazing chemistry in the latter chapters. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP ON READING.
[On the technical side of things, of course, there's always room for improvement. There were a few, tiny specks of errors (spelling, verb usage) in some chapters that were minuscule enough to be overlooked. Nothing another round of editing couldn't do. However, in terms of description, I feel like it lacks in that department as I feel like the story is more of a 'tell' than a 'show'. It might be better if you could show the scenes to make it a lot more vivid for the readers to imagine the scenery other than just voicing the thoughts of the characters, but that doesn't mean the ones you have right now aren't good. It's just that I feel like it's lacking, and I know and believe that this story could be so much better if the descriptions were a lot more vivid.] - I guess this is still the same for me. It did improve on the latter half!!! But I really feel like there's room for improvement still. :D I'll be sad if it ends with just this first draft!!! :(((
Your vocabulary btw is excellent! I love them. Hands down to you on that and for also finishing this story! I know it takes a lot of effort to finish a story, and you just kept writing on, which is really inspiring by the way! Thank you so much for sharing!
All the best,