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Heather
Hey all! So, my name is Heather and I've always had a love for writing. I'm trying my hand at this online writing thing and I'm always open to constructive critiques. I hope you all enjoy!
Good Start and Has Potential
The plot seems interesting and has a lot of potential to be very unique. I like that the setting is more kingdom based, rather than in modern day. It gives it a different feel to be from a land completely created by the author, rather than the real world.
I think there are some writing issues to work through, wording choices that could be changed to make the sentences flow more smoothly. Some of the sentences are lacking in punctuation and don't break, creating very long sentences that readers struggle to understand without rereading.
I'm not personally a fan of first-person POV but you've done a good job of not deviating from the viewpoint.
I struggled in the first chapter with the character's speaking. There was no directive of who was speaking and I had to go back to figure out who's line it was.
Overall, I think you're off to a good start and look forward to where this story will go!
