J. C. Campbell

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Interesting premise.

A great premise, but too much needless exposition. The action got a tad repetitive,....

It could have been more effectively delivered - and a lot shorter. The change of POV didn't work.

Her thoughts were at times interesting, and some lovely turns of phrase here and there. I loved that she was a free agent in this. I like how the end game left the protagonist heading for a steaming pile of chaos and recrimination!

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Just another rape fantasy.

Leaving aside the fact that it's simply another rape fantasy - it's also a poorly written one. The sex scenes are a bit mechanical.

The plot could have been better conceived. It might have worked better in the first person. The progression from the protagonist trying to call the police to being cured of her fear of men and sex - by being dragged off by a bunch of men for sex happens without any explanation.

She has neither substance nor agency, and is simply a vehicle for the one dimensional male characters to fuck.

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ESOL

Chaos. No plot. English as a second language. Yet the occasional phrase or descriptive or vignette that is interesting because of the unusual word choice - the Heathrow-Vilnius chapter had a couple that stood out among the mish-mash of wrong words and non-sequencers.

I'd love the chance to work on one of the chapters though - make it into something reminiscent of Craig Raine's "History: A Home Movie." Because that's kind of what it reminded me of. This could be the sort of thing that works on Galatea - because it was kind of a graphic novel without the graphics.

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