Nice writing, the intimacy feels authentic as the love flows through it. Here´s a few points though:
Read the story now
During the coffee-date, the characters start introducing themselves firstly by stating their name, but won´t it be a little weird to go on a coffee-date without knowing someones name in advance?
The flashback seems a little convoluted in this stage of the story. It seems like you´d might as well have written it chronologically.
It seems like it would be more interesting for structure if you start the story earlier. The reasons why Max left the mob, what he has seen and such and such. Those reasons can then be referred to later in the story, creating a more compelling plot-line and an underlying tension, because we know what trauma´s lay in the back of his head as the story goes.
Also, in the beginning, the shifting from thirst to second person point-of.-view is a little confusing.
That having said, I really did enjoy the story so far and am looking forward to see it develop.