Jordan Esperanza

Welcome! The short story I have here is only a cut version. There is still so many things I need to do, but to be uptaded on new enhancments, follow my instagram @jordanesperasa Thank you!

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Amazing!

As I read this short story I felt as if I was too going to get executed, like our current school system today, though it is not going towards the brink of killing students. But the mind set of students are like this. I see stories like these a "Hidden Gem" In the plot they hold, like this one I expect more stories like this! Good work keep it up!

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Story

I have faith that this story can be a winner! The plot is kinda shaky, you can be more descriptive and let the reader imagine things in their view Ex.( The beaming light upon the infant made the baby boy's skin shine within the light that the gods have blessed us with.) and put more dialogue so that the reader can absorb the information more clearly, also sentence building. Making points blunt and straight forward aren't a necessary thing to do when writing. (Taking in from a best selling author I've met with) try to make it more longer and descriptive. Of course, this story can be edited and published, but keep these in mind for other projects. Other than that I love the brightness this story gives me and I have hopes that when this story is polished it can something. Keep it up!

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