Looking forward to book two
First off, I really like the premise. The whole demon dusted concept is really interesting and unique. The use of demons can be cliche but the fact that the representation of the demon side as more of an animal than just plain evil was a really good twist. This is purely my opinion, but I think that Dean's abilities could be restricted a little bit, possibly by the demon side being a particular demon species with a related set of abilities. I get that he should be able to protect Myth and his power is definitely the main thing that keeps them all alive but adding limitations to characters makes them interesting and gets the abilities of others to shine. it can also give you the opportunity to show off the powers of other characters rather than just telling us.
Read the story now
The story itself had some really good twists and turns, really interested to know where the whole body tattoo thing comes from. When everyone is at the house towards the end of the book you get a real feel for the camaraderie between the four main characters and the teens in the basement with a diverse range of backgrounds and personalities. I would say, for me, the biggest thing was that you compromised a lot of essential character and plot development for the sake of keeping a fast pace. Most of the time I felt like many of the events and characters fell into a trap of 'just because' motivation. I get that many of the characters fate's are connected to the prophecy and it should definitely make up the majority of why they're doing what they're doing. But I feel like it would be easier to connect with the characters if there was the odd side agenda against faeries or some other personal stake that adds a little bit more depth to who they are.
The characters movements and actions are made really clear which makes the actions easy to follow and adds to the tension when the battle scenes are unfolding. The only thing I would say is that even though Maybelle's clairvoyance is a good choice of theme you tend to over use it. For me the story lost some of it's impact when you already know specifically whats coming. It might be better to have her readings be a little more vague or even wrong in places to add to the drama, clairvoyance in real life isn't an exact science so there is a lot of opportunity to add some conflict which could add more impact to the plot and have me on the edge of my seat as the battle unfolds.
The main characters point of view comes through really well. Your description and writing style from the first person is really good, it's something that is not easy to do, I applaud your skill. However, you have a tendency to put a lot of the information you are trying to convey in one block of dialogue at once. This makes the speaking character's voice feel a bit mechanical. people normally talk in short choppy sentences, giving information the way they visualise it. So long paragraphs of dialogue where it reads like the character is talking from a textbook can detract from the tension in a scene.
Overall, this was a good read and I can't wait to get into the second book of the series. I wish you luck with the editing :)