Josh Byrne

Interesting!

I don't know if it's too early to be leaving a review after the first chapter but i'm going to leave one anyway :L
I really like Rowan's voice as a character. It's very distinctive and has kept me wanting to know whats coming next. Your blurb is fantastic by the way.
At such an early stage its hard to review things like plot. the only thing I would say is that for a first chapter there is a lot of description being thrown at the reader. it might be a good idea to have Rowan's internal monologue happening while he's encountering the people in the town. I already found it interesting reading about Rowan's life but readers may want you to take them there, to experience it rather than hear about it. like being in the barley fields or see the reactions of the people to his parents professions. I can see there is a lot of imagination that is being invested in this world and you want to share that, but sometimes its best to drip in the description pertaining to the actions taking place. The story can get a bit bogged down if there is too much explanation and not enough action.
Overall a fascinating concept and I will be tuning in every Thursday to see what happens next! Good luck!

Very interesting

I really enjoyed reading this story. I thought the premise was very good and, although there is only one chapter, I was able to get a good feel for the characters introduced, Since this story is in its early stages it is probably a bit unfair to mention this, but the description does stumble in some places, one is example is the way you portrayed the main characters vision with Lily. The way the pronouns are used at once made it a bit difficult to read. Like i said this is mostly pedantic to mention so early on in development but this has a lot of potential and I really look forward to the next chapters!