JWC

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Potential

This first chapter of Aurora's story is a lovely glimpse in what has the potential to be an interesting, lovely story about a woman who is learning to come out from under the shadows and thumbs of overbearing men in her life.
I truly feel your character work is your strongest ability. I was repelled by David, and really loathed him from the first time we met him. I had a clear image of everybody at the church, and everybody Aurora referred to from her past. The horrors of her father's abuse, and the recoiling from David's thigh grabs were vivid and well-written.
I know you've said your story is in the hands of an editor, and with an extra set of eyes on it, the few punctuation and grammar errors that cropped up will be easily fixed.
One area where I wanted you to make a choice one way or the other was your dialogue. You switched back and forth between the dialogue being written like a script (Aurora: Now is when I say things.) and more traditional ("Hi Crystal," said Aurora) style speech. I think both are fine options, but I wanted you to pick one and stick with it by the end.
I also wanted to let you know why I gave you 4 stars in 'writing style' instead of five. You have a strong and interesting voice, and I'd really like to see you embrace it and trust it. It will serve you well.
All that being said, I am looking forward to reading more, and adding to this review!

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