Kjersten Jensen (KJDarKnight)

I have had a passion for writing since before I can remember. I write and read a wide verity of stories. I am always looking to improve and welcome constructive criticism. Thank you!

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great potential

I think that there is a lot of potential for this story! The set up is really great. I love that it begins right in the thick of the action. I would have liked more description and the tension to be brought out more but that's personal preference.

The style could use a little work, it jumps from past to present tense so often that it gets confusing and doesn't flow as well. there are also quite a few minor grammatical errors.

i got a little bit confused in some parts and had to read over it again to understand what was going on.

Overall I think this story is great and I will be back to read more as it is being written.

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Top 10% in Cult

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