kjwhitbread

Hello! I am working on a story of a man from a criminal background and his journey to possible redemption in this motorcycle club series. Romance/action. I’d love to hear what you think!

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Invisible Flames

Ahh MC stories! I'm a sucker for a bad boy with a heart of gold. If he has tattoos and a motorcycle, that's a plus too!

This story is definitely for smut lovers! Excuse me while I fan myself from all the steam! It's sexy, fast paced, great characters, AND an interesting storyline.

At first I wasn't sure I cared much for the open audience sex scene and how quickly the characters flew themselves into the physical part of the relationship. However, the more I dived into the story, the more it made sense for the characters.

The plot is intriguing, wondering what bomb will go off that will give such a conflict for the hero and heroine. I'm also hoping to learn more about Carrie and Bender (I think it was Bender) - they seem like they could be a cute couple!

Grammar and punctuation is always the hard part, I can tell this story was written for fun and pure entertainment, so I won't harp on any of that - it's difficult for all writers. There were a few mishaps, but it never took away from the story.

The author writes in a way that describes scenes very well, so that is a plus - the show, not telling.

Overall, I do like this little adventure and haven't been able to put it down since I started reading it. Great job, author, keep up the good work! Excited for more updates to see what will happen :)

Please keep writing!

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His Lovely Pet

Ahh the vampire tales! I have a soft spot for the vampire fantasies (Total Vampire Diaries fan here 8-) )

On that note, I feel like this author has something. It is clear that she has a strong imagination, she cares for her characters, and has thought this story through. The plot is intriguing and the lead male character is actually very sweet - which is refreshing in the vampire fantasy world. You can tell there is a dark secret that may be a "make" or "break" for Cole and Olivia. The author writes in a way that makes you want to keep reading.

Though, it is fast past, it is a fantasy world and most fantasy romances move rather quickly. I do like the fact that the characters are at least getting to know one another before anything really physical happens - which also makes us want to keep reading.

The only difficulty that I have with this story is all the spelling and grammatical errors - be careful with that author! It is an issue all writers have, unfortunately - even myself!

However, that does not stop me from wanting to read more. So, I encourage you, author, to keep writing because you have an audience here that would love to know what happens next :)

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A Good MC Story

As a fellow author of a developing MC series, I can honestly say that this book, even within the first two chapters is worth the read. The author does an impeccable job with using a variety of words so that none seem to be overused. The technical aspect is spot on and the emotion from the characters have been well developed in this original piece.

My hat is off to you, author for really putting in the time and care for the story. I am excited to keep reading!

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kjwhitbread

Ahh! Where to begin! I am intrigued by this story and can't wait for more. I can tell there will be drama and some twists ahead because the heroine is not supposed to befriend or fraternize with the other characters in the royal house as being a 'lowly maid'. But she did and she does ('m sure). I am curious to see how it all plays out.

Being that there are only three chapters we haven't been able to dive into the characters a whole lot, I am rooting for some more depth in the heroine - right now she seems sweet, quirky, funny, and has a can-do attitude. We just met the hero in chapter three and I'm looking forward to get into his brain - he seems like a complex character - which is fantastic!

There are some punctuation and grammar mistakes, but those are easily fixable. Mostly commas missing after dialogue or periods missing here and there. A couple of run on sentences - no biggie! I am no grammar queen, myself. It's hard writing a book - lol.

My hat tips off to you, author for not only thinking of an interesting story, but also keeping your readers engaged by the little cliffhangers at the end of each chapter.

Keep up the wonderful work! Looking forward to reading more :) Please let me know when more chapters go up <3

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