lovely_roisin

A college student with some free time

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Cigarettes and Scarves

Wow, just absolutely groundbreaking. I'm sure you get this quite often, but I must say that this story really is mind opening. I personally do not come from Muslim decent, therefore I haven't really learned much about the culture, though it really is so interesting. Just reading about her struggles in a school setting and how hard it is to fit it. I really feel this story would do phenomenally if published. The plot itself is so different and stands out from anything I have ever read. Amazing job. I absolutely loved it

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Smoky Joes

I honestly can say I am not one for historical stories though this one really gripped me. I felt the amount of action is enough to get anyone interested. I will say I had to brush up on my history during my reading which was a minor inconvenience though I truly enjoy it. As a whole I do feel that Smoky Joes really has the potential to form into something great. I just would prefer more background considering I found myself researching certain important historical aspects of the story! The writing style is great, I can tell that the author is very skilled. Overall a great story.

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very interesting

I have to say that this book is very interesting. You do a great job telling this story, Believe it or not, many people who write stories are not total experts on their writing and tend to forget things throughout the book and trip over things they previously said in the beginning of their story. You, on the contrary, seem to be an expert on your story and know things inside and out. I feel that this story is very unusual- which is a very good thing. It stands out from the rest. Originality is something to really appreciate because it is so rare. Wonderful job!

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Amazing

I really enjoyed reading this story for multiple reasons. First off I'd like to praise you on your storytelling ability. I felt drawn in. You do an amazing job describing things. One thing I am a sucker for is detail. Honestly, that is something many people struggle with. In my eyes the main goal for writers to achieve is to be able to paint a picture for the reader. To allow little to no imagination up to the reader. You do an excellent job. My one small critique is your formatting. Yes I realize this is a website and not a published work, so formatting is kind of free range. Adding things in all caps adding more than one exclamation point ect. are things I personally find daunting. They are such small things , and yes I realize that people may have difficulty expressing emotions through characters, but I view it as silly for lack of a better word. Other than that I believe you have an enticing and promising story.

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Gripping

Your story is very captivating! I really like how you emphasize fear. The main character is very strong-willed which I really enjoy as well. I like the fact that you are doing something different here. Too many people choose the same plots and have the same idea. This changes things. You took a different path and I really do like it.

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