I really enjoyed reading this story for multiple reasons. First off I'd like to praise you on your storytelling ability. I felt drawn in. You do an amazing job describing things. One thing I am a sucker for is detail. Honestly, that is something many people struggle with. In my eyes the main goal for writers to achieve is to be able to paint a picture for the reader. To allow little to no imagination up to the reader. You do an excellent job. My one small critique is your formatting. Yes I realize this is a website and not a published work, so formatting is kind of free range. Adding things in all caps adding more than one exclamation point ect. are things I personally find daunting. They are such small things , and yes I realize that people may have difficulty expressing emotions through characters, but I view it as silly for lack of a better word. Other than that I believe you have an enticing and promising story.
Read the story now