A college student with some free time

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Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation


I really enjoyed reading this story for multiple reasons. First off I'd like to praise you on your storytelling ability. I felt drawn in. You do an amazing job describing things. One thing I am a sucker for is detail. Honestly, that is something many people struggle with. In my eyes the main goal for writers to achieve is to be able to paint a picture for the reader. To allow little to no imagination up to the reader. You do an excellent job. My one small critique is your formatting. Yes I realize this is a website and not a published work, so formatting is kind of free range. Adding things in all caps adding more than one exclamation point ect. are things I personally find daunting. They are such small things , and yes I realize that people may have difficulty expressing emotions through characters, but I view it as silly for lack of a better word. Other than that I believe you have an enticing and promising story.

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.