Weirdly, I once had a friend I'd not seen for years pop up and try to talk me into network marketing (and my reaction was pretty much the same as your main character's), though fortunately it had no impact on the rest of humanity. Anyway, liked the story, which reminded me a bit of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers (though the end reminded me of 1984), a good yarn that was nicely believable.Read the story now
Would have liked it more without the first sentence
Schizophrenia's a scary disease to have but, despite popular misconception, it's a totally different thing from multiple personality disorder. You might have been better doing a little research, since anyone who knows about the illness might be turned off by your mistake.
Having said that, if I ignored the cover and the first sentence of your story, I thought it was well-written and a scary premise. Having said that, there's an unfinished sentence in there, "They took me to my", which could do with correcting.
Overall, I liked it as a story, just a bit niggled about the mental health ignorance.
No badges received yet