mattbayan

The Odour of Rain

Zen, I just read the first chapter. I'm a professional editor, so I'll cut to the chase. First, don't say you're a good writer and then ask for character or story arcs from readers. If you're a good writer you already h ave them.

Second, your writing is dense. It reads like blank verse, but for a novel I would call it purple prose.

Third, you have way too many adjectives and adverbs. Instead of creating an image (showing) you describe. Instead of using words like "beautiful," try to find some specific characteristic that suggests the whole. For instance, instead of saying someone has beautiful eyes, you could say, "Her lashes were so long, Bambi would be jealous." Get the idea?

I think your writing has promise, but you need a serious line and structural edit.