I'm guessing the author's age is around 16, as this story contains many silly and unbelievable components - even for a fantasy setting! Sighs are heard over the clamour of a battle, dismembered heads fly over ramparts, eyes literally pop out of heads, penises catch fire and explode in a 'gut-mist.' And that's all in the first couple of paragraphs! After that, we have to listen to bragging, unlikable 'heroes' who talk like no humans I've ever heard, in this world or in fantasy. People say things like "hella pissed" and 'spunkiness.'
Read the story now
Dialogue goes like this: “No.” “Really?” “No.” “Really?” “Fine. Whatever.” Story goes like this: bragging, alcoholic idiot home-invades, chloroforms, and then kidnaps a young princess. Princess then falls for him (!) and goes skinnydipping in the hot-springs with the bragging idiot spying on her and having a conversation with her abductor, drugger, and potential rapist - while she's bathing naked in front of him. Princess is then kidnapped by exposition-spouting, horny goblins who threaten to use magic on her if she doesnt obey them and "marry" the goblin leader. Then the author accidently repeats a paragraph from earlier on in the story, about eavedropping on the princess bathing and the sound water makes dropping off her body. Then another penis gets exploded by a fireball. Yep. Another one. Then the princess and her first abductor literally walk into the sunset to live happily ever after.
Seriously. Those words are used. All in all, this was painful to read from start to finish, and the fact it's near the top of the reader-votes is a travesty. The sexuality displayed is laughably immature, and also violent and 'rapey.' Take care!