mg_trazor

What a start!

This story here, Mommy's Lil' Angel, is an intriguing brand of horror that I can't say I've read much of in all my time. It creates a very solid atmosphere of terror while not relying on overused elements like death or hideous monsters. The potency of the atmosphere is, of course, only made stronger by the vivid and wonderfully detailed storytelling. The world, these characters, even to the most simplistic concept like the background on Chris's father, feels so real its hard to deny the power and terror in this story. In only two chapters, I'm enticed to read more; figure out just what's going on with Julian, and how these two got into this situation. My only gripe, and it is a small one at that, is the opening paragraph. It's by no means a bad start or an ineffective hook, but it just feels like it could use some brushing up. All the same, a fine start to a story that I can not wait to read more of. Keep it up!

Extremely vivid writing

The Roadkill God is an exciting read that certainly could be expanded upon more but is also perfect just as a one-off story in and of itself. Every paragraph is jam-packed with descriptive language and all the little details you could want to feel like you're really there. It's also an interesting take on horror being that a lot of the gore and terrifying imagery comes less from a slasher or generic monster but only from the descriptions of a doe struck by a car and the god itself. It shows a tremendous amount of strength to set the atmosphere and tone without resorting to mindless violence and quick deaths. The god itself is an extremely captivating creature in the way it is described and immediately paints an elegant and disturbing picture in your mind's eye. The only criticism I can pay to the story is that some of the sentences are overly long. None of them are necessarily grammatically incorrect, but I know that can be hang up for many people and was merely something I noted. But, all in all, I'd consider The Roadkill God to be one of the better short horror tales I've read in quite a while. Outstanding work.

Interesting Take, Interesting World

Rip Current is an enticing read from as far along as I've come, reaching chapter nine with that being as far as it has been published at the moment. Firstly, the world being built piece-by-piece is just lovely to imagine. It has a kind of mixed timeline vibe wherein the world feels stuck in the past as far as technology but also boasts the fantastical element of merfolk. The author does a fantastic job of immersing you in this world, giving you a clear vision of where you are and all the various elements in the scene. The character of Irian is very well thought out and comes across rather organic rather than static and simplistic, even proceeding on his arc in the first few chapters. However, despite all the qualities of the story, I feel a few spots throughout the story could use touching up. They are not glaring issues that would require massive rewrites only what looks to be minor slip-ups that would be easily cleared up with another edit. My final comment, and this probably the most biased and damning, is that the story feels as though it is falling into the rut of a well-worn archetype. It feels a lot like a standard us versus them storyline, not unlike something like the film Avatar. Wherein a character coming from another people has to realize the error of his ways in light of a new world view that makes him reconsider his own. It isn't that this is a bad thing, archetypes and tropes are common because they work and are easily identifiable. I'm just hoping that in later chapters, the other shoe will drop and will get perhaps a fresh take on the plotline or some new element that makes the story feel all the more original. All in all, definitely an exciting tale being told here, one that I'd love to read more of in the future.