moi-moi

Whale Island 🐳

Post your stories on my wall and I'll read + review them!! I review your work HONESTLY and if you don't like the response then piss off. I only want to help you improve.

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Please Continue Updating

This book reminds me of something that would be in my teacher's library. I love the plot so far, and the characters are written beautifully. The dialogue runs smoothly, and nothing about this story is choppy. Continue the good work.

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The Thought of You Under the Sun

One of the main reasons I decided to read this book was the title, it sounded beautiful and interesting. Your book kept me interested for the first few paragraphs, and your attention to detail in terms of scenery is amazing. Yet it got boring after a while, and I felt myself skipping over some of the paragraphs. Also, your formatting of paragraphs could also use a little bit more work. Some of your paragraphs were extremely large and if you cut them down, or put them into two different paragraphs, that would make all the difference.

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Deserves to be Published

I'm...I'm literally just staring here, wondering why this book isn't published yet or why it isn't on the main page or SOMETHING. I've only read the first few chapters, but I can already testify to how good it is. It's that good, and normally, on this site, nothing is that good. You can tell the authors are experienced. All aspects of the story are written perfectly and I can't wait to see what they come up with next.

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Needs Work

The major thing about this story is the writing/grammar. I had to reread some parts of the story because I simply couldn't understand what was happening. Yet, because the grammar had such subpar grammar, it tied into Emma's charm as a character. After all, she's only 13 years old, it makes sense for some things to simply not make sense. One suggestion I would have would be to fill out your characters more. Add a bit of diversity (i.e. stop giving them all basic names and personality traits please). Other than that, its off to a shaky start, but I think it could be good in the longrun.

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Amazing

This book is so unique, and it's like everything I imagined it to be. There are mental health issues, which no one seems to write correctly. Depression is more than just being sad all the time, and bipolar disorder is more than just switching through emotions. The author displayed this perfectly. I also like how it isn't your typical romance story: mostly everyone in the cast in a minority. I like the diversity. From the main character, Erza who is black to the girl who works in the convenience store, wearing a hijab. I'm so happy the cast wasn't just white people. It gets boring after a while. I also like how the story wasn't 60+ chapters long, because then it gets boring, it was a nice and easy read.

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Amazing <3

You don't know how happy I am to read something that isn't werewolf related. One of the main reasons I love this story (and why I can't way for you to continue updating) is because it isn't like all the others. The characters in this story are going through real problems that a lot of teenagers today are too afraid to speak up on. The author is also respective of the lgbtq community, and isn't fetishing them (you don't know how many stories on this site that do that). As for the story itself, its amazing. Its funny, yet serious. IThe grammar, spelling are on point. The characters aren't flat, boring and basic (which is something I really despise). They really have depth, and unique personalities.

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Good Read

I like the idea of the plot, but not the plot. The story kind of bounced around and could use a little bit of fluidity between scenes. Also, if you're going to suddenly change the character POV (as you did with Missy) please make that clear before the story starts. I was so confused, like, "wait-- wasn't this in the first person pov, why is it suddenly in third?". Good job on your dialogue, but your charters action could use a little bit more humanizing, Other than that, I wish you luck on your story and I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for new updates.

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Almost Perfect

I feel like you shouldn't have included a synopsis chapter and I also feel like you could cut down the length for the general summary. Not only that, but both were poorly written as well. And after I had finished reading the summary and synopsis I was having doubts about the story. However, your story was amazing. The writing style is fantastic, and I was hooked (although your prologue left me with quite a lot of potholes).

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Average

As far as this story goes, it's all right. There were some grammar/formatting issues that need to be fixed as well. Your dialogue could use some work too, strengthening it and making it seem more human.

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Bad Blood

The only complaint I have about this story is that sometimes the characters don't really sound human. In the first paragraph, in the first chapter, I expected the briefing of Rodriguez to be a bit more formal you know? Also, I feel like some of the dialogue lacks some of the seriousness it needed, which makes it hit not as hard as it should.

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Amazing Late-Night Read

Gotta pause in my reading and make a review or else I'll stay up to 2 AM reading this and then forget. It's really great, honestly Nothing wrong with it. Love how round and dynamic the characters are. For example, Avery is more than just a preppy fun girl who loves to party. She can be sarcastic and witty and pretty savage. She also came off as a bit fake in the beginning and its important to note that people have flaws too. You did a great job showing this. Avery is my favorite, despite her only being in the background. I also love how you write twins that aren't "basically the opposite in everything" I personally feel like that trope is overused. Good luck continuing this story!

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Can't Wait for the Next Updates

This reminds me so much of the anime Fire Force, where literally anyone can lose control of their powers at any time. Since that is one of my all-time favorite anime, reading this was 10x better. The only thing I have a problem with is the sheer lack of diversity. I know you probably have everything (mostly) planned out, including characters, but it would be so nice to have someone of a different race in the mix. A lot of stories have all-white casts. This isn't a problem but sometimes I get sick of reading about Emma's or Peytons' or Sarah's with long blond hair you know? Considering the fact that I'm a person of color myself.

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Needs Some Polishing

Personally, I like the story plot-wise. However, I feel like there are areas where you write too much describing one scene, and areas where you don't describe enough. Try to keep all scenes in the middle and try not to go overboard with it. Also, your dialogue could use a little work too. The characters don't really seem like people. Try to make the things they say and do realistic. Well, as realistic as you can get for this genre.

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Golden Love

The only thing that needs work with this story is the grammar. I suggest getting a beta-reader as soon as possible because I have to re-read a lot of your story to understand it. I don't think English is your first language (?) but leaving your story as it is might deter some readers.

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Needs Work

I like the general idea of the story, but I can't actually follow along because your grammar/spelling and formatting gets in the way of that. There were also some parts where you switched between the first and third points of view that make it confusing as well. I think if you were to get someone to edit this for you before you put out new chapters, then it would be much better.

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Amazingly Unique

I'm so happy this isn't your typical 'romance/alpha/werewolf' story. I almost wept for joy. Even better, the story isn't actually about werewolves and telling the tale from an actual wolf's point of view. In the beginning, this idea worked out perfectly, with them being pups and all. However, when they were older, it lost a little bit of its touch. I expected more emotion wise, more descriptive sceneries, maybe going more in-depth about the world around them.

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Couldn't Get Into It

I just couldn't get into it. I'm usually a fan of this genre, but the way it was written was off-putting to me. I feel like literally, every novel starts with either a waking up scene, aka almost late for school, or an introduction about the character. But with fantasy, and especially your work, I expected something more unique. Maybe starting off in the magic shop as a little prologue? Talking about the magics of your fantasy world? A cutscene from another part of your world? Your spelling and grammar needs a little tweaking as well.

This story might catch on with some of the users here (who might just be sugarcoating things to get a review for themselves not to downplay your skills, but its something a lot of users do here and I want to offer you an honest review that will hopefully better your writing) but I doubt this will get very far with the actual Inkitt staff. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, or rude, but I really think you should consider adding some plot changes.

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Eh

I personally feel like the story moves too fast. Not only that, but there are a lot of misunderstandings and unnecessary drama. Not only that, but I feel like Blossom was not correctly represented as a Ghanaian. Blossom isn't even a proper Ghanian name for Pete's sake! Also, I expected a bit more of her culture to shine through. Basically, when the main character is written poorly, the rest of the story is too.

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This Needs to Be Taught in Schools

The story is powerful, it is informative, and it is emotional. The author draws facts from credible sources, going as far as to create some of her own. This story is more informative than most, if not all, chapters of slavery in our textbooks. I cannot focus on how easy it was to relate to the personal stories here, and whatnot. And I'm confused. This is a literal masterpiece. Where is all the praise?

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Off To A Good-Enough Start

Your plot is unique, something I wouldn't be interested in reading, but I admit you had me interested and awaiting the next chapters. However, your writing style is not unique, and it's something that I could find anywhere on this site. I think if you used a bit more descriptive feelings, and tied more into the world around her, your story could be something special <3

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