Mrs

Author in the Making

From the moment that we are first introduced to Avery, you relate to her for her unique mind and struggle to belong. It is easy to step into her shoes and into her story, and understand how she would be drawn to a person like Eden. You can sense her desire to connect with someone, but at the same time you worry for Avery's too-trusting nature. It;s this kind of questioning-- wondering what's going to happen-- that keeps the story interesting. Although, to me, the poetic writing style of the author is what made this book such a lovely emotional experience. Great author in the making!

Great potential!

First off, Ruelle is the coolest name ever and I wish it were mine. Just had to get that off my chest. Haha! Second, your word choices and descriptions are lovely. A little overdone at times (beware of using too many fancy words just to sound nice, sometimes less is more) but lovely all the same. You paint a vivid picture. Third, the ideas (alien invasion, scientists' daughter, fight for justice!) are EPIC and they form an amazing foundation for this book.
That being said, I feel I should explain why I removed points:
1) Too much telling, not enough showing.
2) Commas in places they don't belong, as well as other punctuation errors.
3) Dialogue was forced and unnatural. (I try reading mine aloud to see if it would work in a real life conversation. Helps a lot!)
Keep up the good work!