nabbie

Still Early To Tell, But Great Writing

I am quite enjoying the writing style of the author. It's a beautifully crafted story and I am eager for me. From the description it sounds like it is going places and I cannot wait for the story to update to see what it has in store!

Beautiful

The first poem is absolutely stunning. The flow and imagery are wonderful. There is like one spelling/grammar mistakes but the point still comes across strongly. I look forward to reading more from this author!

Stunning work!

I am in love with this story! I'm currently giving the plot a three stars simply because it is still early in the story and I want to know so much more. The writing is beautiful and elegant with well thought out descriptions that just flow. I'm excited to see where this story goes and learn more about Tladi.

I will note that the formatting can be distracting at times where it seems to randomly break off in paragraphs. That might just be my particular phone and the way I'm viewing it but worth a look into so that the format matches the beauty of the story. ❤️

Great Potential

I'll start with the good points. The Author has a lot of potential to have an amazing story. The plot is interesting and makes you wonder who the killer really is. The descriptions are quite good at times, that being said some of the word choices, a few spots of bad grammar, and the chapter structures make it difficult to stay invested. It is by no means unreadable, it's truly good, I can just see that this author cares and could make it absolutely perfect.

For me, I have trouble with some of the cop cliches that are shown in the book, holstering your gun by squeezing it in the Hem of your pants isn't good, a cop not having their guns locked away, making a phone call to say one sentence and not even say hello or goodbye, they only focus on this one lead (I get one of the cops focusing the primary lead but there would be other suspects they would meet and have to look into. This could really add an entire other level to getting to know Xavier through the accounts of others), the fact they meet the suspect and then immediately go drinking... All of these things could be edited to add more to the story and more suspense.

And finally I am not a fan of specifying the perspective at the beginning of each chapter, the quotes, and the authors notes at the end. If you're perspective is clear, there is no need to specify. As well as I view it as if it were truly a printed novel, next to none have those things.

Overall, the author is amazing and I hope they continue to push themselves and continue to make such a great story. ❤️