I'm no professional
Hi! Overall, I would say that you have the idea but the way you express those ideas is a little bit too hazy (in my opinion.) I just read the first chapter but I could tell that the plot is quite interesting and alluring. Your writing style is somewhat 'not the worst, but also not the best' I've ever seen. Based on my experience on Wattpad, you should break your paragraphs into a smaller sentence. This is to avoid readers from 'running away' from your books. I saw that you used a lot of same words over and over again, this is not advisable unless intentionally. Redundancy made your writings look saggy and boring, try to use different words sentence, synonyms, antonyms, idioms, etc. That's all I got for you. I hope I'm not hurting you and I wish you for the best in your book!
Read the story now