Amanda C

Always open to read and give feedback on any genre 💙 Hi! I’m Amanda :) 24 and heading into a mid twenties crisis lol Nice to meet you! I’m from HK, I love pandas, writing, and music!

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Truly mysterious!


This story is wonderful. A fast paced adventure/mystery with the right amounts of suspense and emotion. I really got consumed by the whole world of the Monarchs. I’m loving all of their differences yet similarities. All of the plot makes me want to read more and I’m looking forward to reading more!

One thing I would suggest for improvement is the sheer amount of flashbacks. Though I get that it may be necessary for this style of writing and book but too many flashbacks gets a bit jarring and difficult to ensure a smooth flow since it’s always switching back and forth between present and a vision-like world. On the other hand I like the format of flashbacks and present happenings versus just one scene tense focus because flashbacks give insights and shows how detail oriented this story is. I appreciate all the thought and work put into your writing, and I see the star potential in your writing!

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Great read, recommended for poetry lovers.

First of all, great job! I enjoyed reading these poems. You express your words well and paint them with heartfelt emotions. My favorite poem was the first one because of the detail and thought put into the poem. Only improvement I would say for the first poem is try to make what you're expressing more concise at some points I was getting a little lost. Though I love repetition and deeper/more detailed exploration there is a time and place within prose or poetry. I also have a few overall tips or suggestions.

I wouldn't claim to be an expert on poetry but I write poetry too, and have studied literature in university so these following tips are from my gathered experience and also my personal opinion.

1. Be careful of repeating rhymes like "seep" I noticed you used more than once. Seeing the same rhymes used again in quick succession gets a little less interesting.
2. Watch out for using common rhymes too much, or rhymes that may be too predictable or sounds that are too close together, such as loom and bloom. I suggest trying more off rhymes, like head and fret.
3. Pay closer attention to phrase structure such as "but just as I think this" sounds a little awkward and out of place. Try to find the best possible structure to express the words in the most effective manner.

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Can't wait for more

I picked up this book with this gut feeling.

And I was right. This is a beautiful book. It speaks to me of friendships, relationships, second chances, and danger lurking in the background. I really enjoyed the slow burn kind of mysterious vibe. You had me wondering what would happen next, yet at the back of my mind I knew something would form between Dimitri and Lillie. The writing style is smooth mostly and I just fell into this whole world. I appreciate that you write in both POVs and I imagine that might be difficult to pull yourself from one POV to another, but I think it's done pretty well!

I'm excited to see what the plot reveals about the characters and how Dimitri will fare with Lillie's whole situation too. I liked Arthur but I'm not sure whether he's actually good for Lillie, though I do like that you had that side narrative there with Lillie's life at home versus this world with Dimitri.

The only thing I would say for improvements is in the very first chapter in Dimitri's POV, the writing is a bit choppy and there is a lack of punctuation in certain places. I'm sure you will get to that when you go through editing.

All in all, much love to you and I can't wait to read more about Lillie and Dimitri's story.

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