Amanda C

Always open to read and give feedback on any genre 💙 Hi! I’m Amanda :) 24 and heading into a mid twenties crisis lol Nice to meet you! I’m from HK, I love pandas, writing, and music!

Overall Rating
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Great read, recommended for poetry lovers.

First of all, great job! I enjoyed reading these poems. You express your words well and paint them with heartfelt emotions. My favorite poem was the first one because of the detail and thought put into the poem. Only improvement I would say for the first poem is try to make what you're expressing more concise at some points I was getting a little lost. Though I love repetition and deeper/more detailed exploration there is a time and place within prose or poetry. I also have a few overall tips or suggestions.

I wouldn't claim to be an expert on poetry but I write poetry too, and have studied literature in university so these following tips are from my gathered experience and also my personal opinion.

1. Be careful of repeating rhymes like "seep" I noticed you used more than once. Seeing the same rhymes used again in quick succession gets a little less interesting.
2. Watch out for using common rhymes too much, or rhymes that may be too predictable or sounds that are too close together, such as loom and bloom. I suggest trying more off rhymes, like head and fret.
3. Pay closer attention to phrase structure such as "but just as I think this" sounds a little awkward and out of place. Try to find the best possible structure to express the words in the most effective manner.

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