Jessy

What can I say? I love reading and writing.

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Good start, but there's room for improvement

Let me explain my reasons for each of the ratings!

I could not judge plot well since it's an ongoing story, but so far, it didn't really entice me to read further. Yet again, the story doesn't have that many chapters anyway, so it's more than understandable if you need a few chapters to set a base to build on.

The writing style could use some work. When I started reading, lots of the story was written indirectly. Instead of an active writing style that takes you into the events of the story, I get some background information that is much too telling instead of showing. I would recommend the author to do some research on "show vs tell" and practice showing more in her story. Don't underestimate the power of an active writing style to draw a reader in.

The technical writing skills could use some work too, but the mistakes were minor. I especially noticed them in the summary, which gave me a bad first impression, while the rest of the story was better than that first impression.

So, while the story is definitely not perfect yet, with a few minor tweaks, it could improve quickly and easily!

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Shivers!

This book gave me shivers in the best way possible and captivated me from beginning to end. This is everything you want a thriller to be.

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Interesting concept

** This review is based on an ongoing book **

Interesting concept, great descriptions, and a good start, but the writer is just in bad luck that the reviewer has a pet peeve for prologues that are unnecessary -- and this one definitely fell into that category. The prologue started out the exact same as the summary, and then went into some background that really didn't need to be there. That feeling was supported once I got to the first chapter, where that background was all explained again, so the first chapter by itself would've sufficed to get the reader started on the story.

That being said, there is a good basis for this story that the author can work on. The idea of Mind Benders intrigues me, and I love that the story is being told from the perspective of a girl who really is different. The stakes are immediately clear from the beginning, and that's enough to hook a reader.

However, the writing style for me wasn't good enough to hook me fully. I was missing some of the tension that similar books have, where you can't stop reading once you've turned the first digital page. That's too bad, because I didn't have many chapters to judge this book on, and that's to the writer's disadvantage -- I really wanted to give her a good rating, because I do see promise to this story and potential in the writer. Like I briefly mentioned before, the descriptions of this book are great, and the idea is strong enough to develop into a great book. But for now, it wasn't enough for me.

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Keep up the good work!

** This review is based on an ongoing book **

There is so much I love about this book. There's good pacing, nice vocabulary, natural dialogue, an honest little girl that stole my heart, and that gut feeling that something is about to go wrong at any point now that I just couldn't shake. I definitely see promise in this story and the writer behind it, who just managed to capture me with their words.

The only thing that annoyed me were the descriptions every time a new character was introduced. The story was halted, and as a reader, I got to know the new character's height, hair color, and other unimportant details I forgot right away. They interrupted the story, and it would've been better without them -- but really, that's all I have to give as constructive feedback :) Keep up the good work!

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About Promise

If I had to summarize this book into one word, it would be rushed. Just everything feels rushed, and I had that feeling right from the start.

The main character, Rebecca, meets her soulmate. They talk a bit, find that they have common ground in his background as a marine, and find themselves enjoying each other's company. So far, so good. I can see the spark between them, and it gives me good hope for their relationship.

It is then that the rushing starts. The two characters immediately start discussing heavy topics and things that lie close to their hearts to someone they've only met a few minutes ago. Then comes a declaration of love, and they spend the night together. From there, the story just ends up in a whirlwind of big events following each other up. Rebecca faints out of nowhere, she's pregnant, three paragraphs later she decides to keep the baby, the next chapter she goes into labour, etc.

I think this story would benefit greatly if the writer took some more time for development. The romance between the two characters could be more built up, as well as their emotional connection. That is also true for other events, such as Rebecca fainting in chapter four: the scene around the fainting could be described more, so what she was doing before and what happened after. There are lots of big events following each other up, but the developments and transitions are a little rocky, which makes the story very overwhelming to the reader.

There is promise to this story, though. The writer is very, very good at descriptions to the point where it makes me jealous, and she knows how to bring emotions across.

Regarding the technical aspects of writing, I noticed many spelling errors and an inconsistency of tenses (so switching up past and present tense while the sentences should both be in the same tense). However, I try not to get too bothered by such small details, so I didn't let it weigh my overall review of this story too much.

So, overall, there is definitely some work to be done on this story, but I also believe this story can get so much better. I wish the author the best of luck with writing!

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Great writing style

The first thing I noticed about this story was the narrator's voice -- I loved it! From the first few paragraphs, I could already tell that this was a feminist, strong-willed, independent woman with a sense of style. While most writers fall back on cliches when portraying a popular girl, making them snobby or ignorant, this girl certainly isn't, and that only makes her more realistic.

Even after those first few paragraphs, the writing style continued to be strong. There's a nice pace, a good balance between description and dialogue, and the descriptions are nice and create a vivid picture.

Only later do I find out the main character has anxiety. While I would've liked to see more emotion in this part (just a description of what's going on in her head), I think the scene was nice. It showed that anxiety can be a disturbance, popping up at any time, that this isn't the first time Julianne has suffered an anxiety attack, so she knows exactly what to do, and that she feels lonely in her suffering, not only because she keeps it from others.

Overall, this was a great story, but there are some possibilities for improvement. The first is the summary: from it, I couldn't deduce that this story was about anxiety, so it came to me as a surprise, while it is what the entire story is about. Also, readers would want to know if it is about anxiety -- for some, it is a trigger, so they can stay away from it and guard their own mental health, and for others, it helps to understand anxiety a little more and bring awareness.

A second point I want to address is the length of the story. There is so much going on and so much to be told, but four chapters simply isn't long enough to tell that entire story. Instead, the further I got into the story, the more rushed it felt, and things like writing style started to suffer from it, too, because the writer didn't put as much effort into descriptions and the like anymore. That is such a shame, because the idea behind the story is really good, the writer is capable of an excellent writing style, and -- what might seem like a minor detail, but always worth mentioning -- there weren't any grammatical errors.

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Three's Company

I really enjoyed this book! It is so easy to get through, and I loved the little love stories. Especially Felix' and Jessica's!

The only thing I would note to the author is that the third part was not as good to read. Many conversations were copied from either part 1 or 2, which bored me pretty quickly, and I'd rather have some new information.

But like I said, the story flows beautifully, and I really enjoyed this read. I can definitely recommend!

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Complex, but well written

Xavier Winter is a man of many faces: CEO, writer, husband, and perhaps, killer. It is hard to get to know him, as he hides behind scowls and dirty comments, but rarely shows his true self. That's what makes it hard to gauge him, and more importantly, to get an answer to that one question: did he murder his wife?

This makes it not only a dilemma for Jase Klein, the detective on the homicide case, but also to the reader, who has a hard time figuring out Winter. While we usually have suspicions to who's guilty, it's hard to get a true understanding of the man in question, and this makes the story that much more interesting.

So, the story got off to a great start and managed to hook me early on. Later, however, it got a little more dull. While the writing kept being strong and the dilemma of who-is-Winter and who-is-the-killer keep existing, I'm missing some new 'juice'. Every chapter starts to look alike: Jase accuses Winter, Winter makes an avoiding comment, Winter scowls. Jase asks another question, Winter answers avoidant, Winter smirks. It got very repetitive, and while it worked in the beginning to make a mystery out of Xavier Winter, it got tiring very quickly because there wasn't any new information.

As the plot slows down, the romance kicks in. I'm totally honest when I say this is one of the more unique romances I've ever read. Not only is it LGBTQ+, it's also between a cop and a murder suspect with many faces, and their (very sexual) relationship is built on an unstable foundation of a murder investigation and a history that has to do with Jase's ex-wife.

At this point, I'm kind of confused of where the story is going (if the mystery or the romance is the main plot), but I read in awe at how the writer has been able to construct a story as complex as this in just a few chapters without confusing the reader at any point. This is definitely a unique story, so I would recommend it, with just one but: once you get further into it, it gets very sexual. I didn't know that from reading the summary or the many author's notes, but this is definitely for audiences 18+. Decide for yourself if that is something you're comfortable with.

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Finding My Seventh Heaven

I love getting lost in love stories. When an author has a good writing style in which I don't even have to think, I can just start reading and stop thinking. The story can just come alive before my eyes.

With Finding My Seventh Heaven, this wasn't really the case. The firs chapter confused me a lot, because the writer constantly jumped within the timeline, and the first chapter also didn't seem to be necessary. Why do I need to know about this event that happened two years ago? Maybe I should've read more for that, but the rating of this book would've been much higher if it wasn't for that first chapter.

Another thing I think could be improved is the writing style. Much of this story is written indirectly, and the reader is just given a summary of what happened. "We had a chatty conversation." "We spent the day at the beach." If these events are important enough to be mentioned, write about them, and do this in detail.

The same goes for dialogue: dialogue is often not more than two sentences long, and then a summary is given of how the conversation continues. If someone wants to celebrate the MC's birthday, he says the cute line "I'm not letting you spend this birthday by yourself -- there must be cake somewhere at three minutes before midnight", after which I get to hear in a few brief sentences how they got cake and what the MC thinks of the guy.

A consequence of this is that I'm missing emotions. If the birthday was described in more detail, I would've been able to see the spark between them and I would've seen their relationship develop. That would make the story so much better instantly.

However, despite the writing style missing that spark and detail, it was still nice to get through. The writer also makes use of great vocabulary, which is why this book still deserves three stars.

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The Things Our Parents Taught Us

This is promising to be a great story! I love how easy to read your writing style is, and even by just having read a few chapters, I can tell these characters are quite unique. Good job!

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Dedicated

I want to start this off by saying this is a good story. Great writing style, descriptions, unique names (yes, that's a plus) -- Dedicated started off great.

There was one thing I was missing though: background. I felt like I was thrown into a story, and I needed a little more information to be able to understand what the story was about. There were letters and Nia, and I needed to know more about the past before I could understand the present.

What was also confusing was that the prologue was the second chapter, being placed *after* Chapter 1. Maybe it was a mistake, but it felt strange.

The same went for the flashbacks in said prologue: I couldn't quite understand them or their relevance yet. Maybe I need to read a little more, but I like to read things I can understand, and I'm afraid I am a little too confused at this point.

However, the ratings are still very high, and that has to do with one thing: I see great promise in this story. The issues I noted here are solved easily: the addition of a few sentences can already help to explain why a certain character is doing what would be enough to understand the story. Because, aside from the confusion, the story is written very well, there are good descriptions in there, the pacing is good, and the author managed to captivate me from beginning to end.

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Thoroughly enjoyed In Five Years Time!

** This review is based on an ongoing book **

Two exes and the perfect excuse to reunite.

Honestly, I didn't know what to expect when I started this book, but really, this turned out to be a positive surprise. I have only good things to say about this story. It has a lovely vibe to it, some authentic characters with their own voices that really shine through in their texts and dialogues, and a perfect writing style.

My only point of critique would be the minor errors in punctuation in dialogue tags and that it was hard to follow the texts, because it wasn't clear who was saying what, but that is fixed with a few formatting changes, and I won't let it sway my opinion of this book too much.

Honestly, can definitely recommend In Five Years Time to anyone!

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About The Woman at the Counter

Plot would've gotten at least one more star, maybe even two, if it wasn't for the ending. It came out of nowhere, really -- but I don't want to spoil it, so I won't say too much about it. It just caused everything to come to an abrupt stop, and I would've loved it if the story could've built up to it more. I'm also missing some other answers, like why the mystery man wouldn't want to give his name to Blake or why he roamed around the record store -- which really was the entire point of the book.

But that being said, I was enjoying the story during all the other chapters. I loved the mystery surrounding the man and how Blake's personality shines through the way she handles this mystery. At the same time, the writer doesn't forget about the other characters playing a role in this story, and I think Jonah was a great addition.

All in all, I loved this story condensed in eight chapters. Just a shame about the ending.

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Loved every bit!

From the moment I saw the cover to when I read the first sentence all the way till the last words: I loved this story. There is such a strong narrator's voice, and the writer has created some lovely characters and a great setting. I can't wait to read more!

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What an enjoyable story!

The more I read, the more I fell in love with these characters. So wonderful, so flawed, so real. A Little bit of Joy is exactly that: there's sadness, but there's always a little bit of joy. Some hope, a light at the end of the tunnel.

If I'm honest, I was missing some depth in this story for both characters. Joy suffers from cancer, but the representation of this illness wasn't very accurate. If her cancer really "has spread everywhere" as she puts it, and by some miracle she would still be alive, she certainly wouldn't be working anymore or living her life like any healthy person. However, that is exactly what she is: living like any other person on this planet. The author seemed to forget that cancer impacts every aspect of your life and instead writes about it as nothing but a diagnosis and a way to lose hair fast.
The same went for depression: it's more than not being happy, and I missed the descriptions of the other things that are a part of depression, as well as his journey to get better (including ups and downs). Eventually, Joy says Logan has come so far in his mental journey, and those words came as a surprise to me, because I hadn't really seen any of the steps he'd taken.

But aside from the depth I was missing, the characters really came alive to me and they made me fall in love with the story. Part of the enjoyment is due to other aspects, too: the writing style is easy to get through, the descriptions are nicely balanced, and everything that needs to be said is said. The author also hasn't forgotten about the other characters aside from Logan and Joy that play a role in this story. This story doesn't just run from first page to last: the characters lived before the story even started.

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About Chasing Hope

** This review is based on the first three chapters, as the story is still ongoing **

Chasing Hope and I got off on the wrong foot, if I'm honest. The first chapter was one that is seen in many YA stories, but always gets on my nerves: it's the classical "wake up, you have to go to school" scene with family, in which nothing really happens, but many writers figure that because it is the start of the day, it must be a good start to the story as well. However, it doesn't add anything to the plot and the story would have been better without.

Nonetheless, I continued reading, because as much as you can't judge a book by its cover, you also shouldn't by its first chapter. Fortunately, the plot started moving quickly after: in the second chapter, Hope learns something about her past that will set the rest of the changes in motion, and it turns her life upside down. It is the typical "it's my last chance, so you need to know the truth"-situation, but unlike the first trope, this one is actually realistic.

This story would improve a lot if "show, don't tell" was applied a little more. Reveal scenes such as the one in chapter two are hard to write, because it quickly becomes dramatic and unbelievable, and that is what happened here too. With sentences like "My whole life felt like a lie and suddenly I didn't know who I was anymore", it becomes very dramatic, but there's no emotion. Instead, those emotions should be described more, and as a reader, I would automatically feel the inner conflict in Hope as a result of that.

This was my main reason for deducting points for writing style: that one rule changes a lot for the story. About the other aspects of writing: grammar was good, but there were still some minor mistakes such as in the punctuation of dialogue tags, and the author had a tendency to switch tenses throughout a chapter where the verbs should've been in the same tense.

But, as you might see by the many stars at the top of this review, I actually like this story. Here are some good points, briefly summarized:
- Good descriptions
- Decent vocabulary
- Great pacing
- Great premise to the story. I love where the story is going, and it promises to be a deep, emotional ride with lots of character development.

By the way, please update this story! ;)

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Great premise to your story!

I love the cover you have and the summary is clear and concise. It shows you take care of your story, and that's just what I want to see as a reader!

Now, when I started reading the story, I came across more errors. For example, you could work on the punctuation in dialogue tags. I've also seen a few times were a paragraph was ended halfway through a sentence, or instances were the story would flow better if two paragraphs were joined.
Another frequent error was the switching of tenses. In one sentence, you use past tense, and in the next, it's present tense, while the two events are occurring after one another and should both be in the same tense. This can get confusing after a while! I'd advise you to use past tense throughout your entire story, because if you're having issues with tenses, this is the easier tense to write in.

However, your writing had a nice flow to it -- all the better, because if you have that right, that saves you so much editing! It's also the thing that kept me reading. I got through this story in no-time.

At first, however, the story was kind of confusing. You wrote about Leia's visit to Alex's apartment in chapter one, but I was missing some context: who the two of them are, how they ended up in that apartment, etc... This was done better in the second and third chapter, so I have good hopes for the rest of the story.

Keep writing!

- Jessy

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