piercedrose

I love this story!

I read this story on reddit when you posted it, and, let me say, I adored it even back then. It's definitely one of those stories that really sticks with you. I love how you create the scare-factor out of the wonder if your protagonist is insane or not, or if Emma really is real. I love how we also never get any actual answers by the end. And the ending was perfect, by the way! Anyways, great story, and I wish you good luck in the competition!

:D Keep writing!

I'm glad I'm a vegetarian. . . .

Wonderful story! I like how you make your main character kind of unlikable, which just adds another layer of gruesome onto your story, I think. But I guess it shows you that there are always worse crimes out there, and you really drove that home. I would just maybe suggest to add a few more details to your story, probably mainly where your main character starts to follow the girl around.I think it would be a good idea to characterize both of them a little more and to give the reader more of a sense of unease. But I truly loved it, and I hope you go really far in the competition!

:D Keep writing!

Great story!

I loved it! I used to have a stuffed rabbit, and, needless to say, I don't think I'll go looking for it again. I just kind of wished that your story was a bit longer and included some more of Evan's journal entries just to flesh out the characters more and the plot. So I would just add some more details, and I think it would make your story even scarier. But it was truly great, and I wish you the best of luck in this competition!

:D Keep writing!

Nightmarish!

Great story! I love how you draw on a creature from folklore, and you put a pretty modern spin on it by using technology; I think it makes the story scarier by using the thought that it could happen today. It kind of seems like an explanation for sleep paralysis, but that condition is terrifying itself. Anyways, great read! Good luck in the competition!

:D Keep writing!

Time to get rid of my dolls

Great story! The details were very vivid, and I could imagine every second of it like it was a movie. I like that it's kind of open-ended, like it could be about a doll, or it could be just a metaphor for an actual person; that sort of ambiguity is what makes horror my favorite genre. Anyways, I loved your story very much, and I wish you the best of luck in this competition!

Keep writing! :D

I sincerely hope you didn't hear my name. . . .

Anyways, great story! It was chilling, and I think I was actually looking over my shoulder towards the end of it expecting to see someone carrying an envelope. It was beautifully written, and it almost had a Lovecraft quality to it that I really enjoyed. I would just say that you can maybe do away with the "let me start from the beginning" stuff, just because I think it would help if you just jumped right into the meat of your story. But other than that, I thought it was wonderful, and I definitely wish you the best of luck in this competition!

Keep writing! :D

Chilling!

I read this story on reddit, and I absolutely adored it! It's definitely been one of those stories that have stuck with me, and I remembered it very clearly when I saw that you posted it on here. This story is fantastic and chilling (I hope that's not a horrible pun), and towards the end, I was thoroughly creeped out. I would just say that the exposition was a little long, and I would just worry that you don't get to the horror fast enough for some readers. I would maybe make this old man as creepy as possible, so your protagonist following him to the junkyard is even scarier. But that's just a recommendation, because I loved your story! I hope you go really far in the contest!

:D Keep writing!

Loved it!

I loved it! I work for the Humane Society, and I've actually seen dogs come in where they've eaten their owners. It's disgusting and horrifying. Combined with the psychology experiment, you've got a great horror story here! I would maybe go into some more detail about the experiment, and maybe have more details about the child slowly turning into a dog. Some more characterization I think would be helpful, too, so then the deaths will seem like more of a shock. But other than that, I thought it was wonderful! I wish you the best of luck in the competition!!

:D Keep writing!