rshifman

A thoroughly engaging drama! (Caution: SPOILERS)

There is so much great about The Curve in the Road. It's well-written and engrossed me in the story nearly throughout. The protagonist, Cooper, has seemingly superhuman abilities, yet he's flawed in a way that's harming his relationships and his outlook on life--he's instantly likable albeit his issues. It's leading him down a desolate road (pun intended) and causing loads of tension in his marriage. The dialogue is crisp and so realistic. The reader may find themselves thinking they've had these conversations. I loved the writing, which engaged me nearly throughout with the tension of whether Cooper will reunite with his wife, whether they will have a child, and whether the mystery of the woman in Cooper's visions will be solved.. We cheer for Cooper and his wife and are disturbed by Cooper's forrays back in time with Mary, Although we recognize what was good in the past, we scream for Cooper to get back into the 'now!' Like I said, thoroughly engaging. The author even takes the possibly boring world of office furniture supply and turns it into mesmerizing, high coprorate drama (Think Glengarry Glen Ross).The author deftly ratchets up the tension through the novel regarding whether Liana and Cooper will reunite and be happy in their relationship. As I mentioned in one of my comments, this makes me think of the tension created by one of my favorite non-fantasy writers, Galaxy Craze, in her novel, By The Shore.

I have a few big-picture suggestions. First, in the first several chapters, it gets kind of thick in discussing Cooper's business. It's a little too thick for me. My suggestion is to go back and trim any exposition that doesn't seem essential to the plotlines, particularly some of the office stuff which seems possibly less relevant. The last two-thirds of the book contain much less of this exposition and thus fly by as a much easier and enjoyable read. Second, use Roland more toward the end as a device to suggest what might have been happening to Cooper all along. Readers will want some sort of indication as to what happened, versus something totally open ended that also indicates internal inconsistencies (e.g., if Cooper's mind is fixed, why does he see Roland at the end? How does Roland spirit know what happened to Mary?. If it's mystical, is there any clue as to the source?). Maybe it's me but I spent the book hoping for 3 things and decidedly got 2 of 3 (Liana and Cooper together, with Cooper better and them having a child who represents the future and not looking back). Last, I would do less summary in the last couple of chapters and throw in some interaction regarding Liana's reaction to Cooper being hurt/comatose, Cooper's behaviors post-coma, and resolution with Mary. There are some punctuation and grammar mistakes here and there, but not many at all, and certainly won';t take much time to clean after revising. I know this is an 'old' novel, but it's a great read, a cool story, and well worth revising. I'm glad I read this book.

Terrific Read: Brilliant, Beautiful Concept, Well-executed

Sometimes you read a story that has a concept that's so clever and elegant, that it makes the entire thing easy and fun to read. This is that book, which I burned through in half a day. Without giving away too much, not only is the concept of the country store--a sort of wish-granting, moral way-station caught between here and there--terrific, but the details around it are intriguing and engaging. I love the sense of how everything is connected!!! The first few stories stand on their own, and each tale is engaging and carry a weighty moral message. The mystery of the store, what it is, why, etc., is so intriguing also. And toward the fifth chapter, we get a hint of how the store came into being. I only have two issues with this book. The main issue is I wish it were finished so I could read the rest! The other issue is that while the prose is mainly well-executed and nicely descriptive, it does need some scrubbing (typos, wordos, perhaps filters, etc.). I believe this author to be a consummate storyteller, and I am certain the ending will be just as captivating as the beginning. I believe with some loving care and polishing, this is a book that could be published by a major house. Will take some work though, but it's worth it. Well done! Bravo!.

A Riveting Christian/Supernatural Drama

There is a lot to like about LMDietrich's novel, In the Gap. What I found most refreshing was its focus on spiritual outcomes rather than solely earthly outcomes. Without giving too much away, the novel is consistent through to the end, staying true to form in the critical importance of accepting Christ as savior and God's love for us. I am a Christian, so I may view this material differently from how others view it. For me, this is a great, edifying message for Christians who are looking for material to provide conviction, or, for the non-Christian who can keep an open mind throughout, to see the world from a new perspective. I did like that the author provided aspects of Christian vs non-Christian debate (even in cases where I might differ some from the author's perspective). I wonder if there are ways to modify this material to make it, if possible, even more welcoming to non-Christians. As someone who also believes in the power of prayer, I recommend the author pray on this as they revise their text. ---- One of the things that's great about this novel is the dynamic tension created by the main character's (MC's) supernatural visions, which are brilliantly described and scary/creepy/gory in nature-this reminded me of classic horror films, such as those focused on the devil or Revelation and kept my interest piqued. Most important, the author has a terrific way of creating parallel metaphors between what's happening in characters' earthly lives and their spiritual lives. This is most evident at the ending, which I won't give away, where an earthly event paralleled a spiritual event of great consequence. The prose is mainly very good and engaging, though I would suggest a scrub for grammatical errors and also to cut some exposition (the novel seems longish for YA). I would recommend this novel to my Christian friends--whether politically left or right leaning--who would enjoy a read that toggles between Christian truth and some supernatural visions (I personally do not know anybody who has experienced such dramatic, fantastic visions in real life, so I call it supernatural here). The read is quick and engaging, and the characters are well drawn. The MC, a self-described 'geek' is sympathetic for the most part, and the people around him and their dialogue mainly seems fresh and real. In context, his need to pray seems logical, as he desperately wants to save those around him he cares about. I also liked the 'love triangle' aspect of the story, as the MC tries to decide who he loves and wants to commit to in life. I thought there was a good balance between this and the narrative between him and his middle brother and the spiritual forces at play (the blurb for this novel, I believe, references Ephesians, which stresses the unseen war being waged). All in all, this was a refreshingly different read from anything else I've encountered on Inkitt. Best of luck in shaping this story moving forward.

Lessons Learned!

This non-fiction account of the author's journey will definitely appeal to wrestlers of all sorts. However, it may also appeal to people endeavoring to do something big--whether that's in a sport or in another area of life.

There are some great lerssons here regarding commitment, sticking to a plan, and the importance of learning from failure.

There is a point in the book where everything seems stacked against the author. At this point, I found myself rooting most for his relationships with his wife and children. Because, even with his headlock commitment to goals, our relationships are the most important thing. I was glad to see he managed to balance both in the end. My only suggestion would be to focus a little more on that in the end. I found his description of his time with his father at nationals touching, and thought to myself that was his biggest win.

This is a great read, and I plan to share with my wrestling friends. Nicely done.

Great ideas. Needs Revisions & Closure

The story here is a good one and kept me engaged throughout. It was worth the read. I felt the author did a great job with the college setting and setting up some of the conflict in the story. The initial threads of the love story between Blake and Winter was compelling. I wish I'd seen more of Winter's grandfather and scenes of what happened to her family and why.

That said, I was never quite sure why Winter had been 'chosen.' Was it something about her family? Another reason? Maybe I missed it (?) My suggestion is to expand on this or ensure it's answered in this book or in the next story.

Also, for such a good story, my recommendation is to let it sit for a while and then go back and check for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and style. There is a lot of cleaning and revising to be done in this book. So much that, for me, it distracted me from the story. This includes, among other things, misplaced modifiers and characters whose name spellings change (Marien vs. Marian).

The setting also left me with questions. The story starts with a baseball game. However, it seems to be winter (snow on the ground, ice). Is it the end of fall semester? Baseball is a spring sport (usually even intramural baseball would be in spring). At what time of year is this story happening?

Finally, most important for me, the cliffhanger ending felt too abrupt. It's fine to end with a cliffhanger that will lead to another novel (or perhaps this novel is unfinished?). If that's the case, a chapter focused on denoument would be helpful. Perhaps go back to what's happening with Winter and show what's on her mind as she struggles with deciding between Blake and Tanner.

I wish the author the best in revising.

A must read!

This is a critically important story, and it's told quite well. The author's prose is generally crisp, descriptive, and easy to read. And the narrative is an essential one for women and men alike to read, reflect on, and absorb. The story does a great job of showing the internal and external struggles that come with an abusive relationship. The characters are drawn incredibly well and produce sympathy for the MC, Maddy, even when her actions are maddeningly frustrating for the reader, as well as disgust with the abuser. In particular, the last third of the book is brilliantly paced, with short crisp chapters that pull the reader along and a great sense of tension. My only suggestion is to shift the weight of the book from the front to the back (the middle third drags just a little) and describe certain scenes toward the end in real-time vs summary (e.g., the last chapter). This is a powerful story, told with brutal honesty. The devolution of a vacation/dreamy state to horror is masterfully done. Another idea, to take or leave, is to create an annotated copy with expert/survivor commentary on the interpersonal and emotional dynamics at play at certain points of the book. Might be helpful, just an opinion.

Intriguing story and Strong characters pulled me in

I don't normally read a lot of high fantasy. However, this story instantly pulled me in by creating characters I cared about and about whom I wanted to know more. The setting and the narrative that followed were always interesting, deviously intricate, and loaded with subtext. I loved some of the playful interactions between certain characters. The pace of the plot was well done, with reveals at exactly the right time to keep the reader going. The author does a nice job of setting up characters who are parallel to each other (I'll stop there so no spoilers). The ability to create characters and narrative that engage, intrigue, and satisfy the reader is not to be underrated. It is perhaps the hardest skill to learn as a writer, and jdelacuso has a natural flair for this sort of thing. I felt like I was living inside his story. I loved the hints of potential romance and the journey aspect of the narrative--more of that, please! Even the characters' names have meaning in this story! As such, I was engaged throughout and enjoyed this read. I highly recommend this partial novel (I read to Chapter 11, as it's unfinished). It has a lot of promise. There are some areas where the prose is quite elegant, simple, and fun to read. With an edit for filters, adverbs, etc., this will be a strong work that should take its place among other enjoyable high fantasies. I also have no doubt the author will provide a brilliant ending, which I look forward to reading.,

Tricky Halloween Fun!

What a great concept—a mysterious serial killer strikes denizens of a small town only on Halloween. Join Thomas, the main character, as he struggles to avenge his friend’s death, capture a killer, and avoid more deaths. There are a lot of great descriptive scenes, especially at a gloomy psychiatric facility. Only thing I’d like more of are backstory on the killer and more description of the town, Halloween style. A fun read any time of year.

Great read! A brilliantly composed story!

One thing you can always count on from dmbproject is consummate storytelling. As usual, dmbproject combines a great concept with an instinctive ability to pull together puzzle pieces of narrative, create tension, and introduce multi-dimensional characters at the perfect time. The engaging read pulls you a,long, engages you with the likeable (and unlikeable) characters, and even sends up false flares at times to keep the tension high. I liked that different sections flipped from one time frame to another, and that connections were forged across timeframes. The last few chapters were perfect in their elicitation of suspense, action, and mystery. The cliffhanger begs for the next story, which I will definitely read! I urge the author to clean up some of the wordos and typos, and take a look at other filters to polish the writing of this great story. Well done!

Superfantastic potential!

So, I don't normally write reviews for material with only four chapters. However, I found this partial novel so engrossing, and so well done, it deserves a review. As with reviews of all partial material, I have reduced my plot rating (because how you measure out the plot and end your story counts for something and is unknown).

I feel like this is a novel with huge potential. The two stories, Hazel in the past and Mandy in the present, both are quite touching. In particular, as I read Hazel's story, I am completely drawn in by the deft decsriptive prose and the emotionally charged scenes. I care so much for young Hazel and want to know what happens to her at this dreadful school. The scenes at the school felt like I was reading a masterfully constructed novel from an accomplished author.

I feel like in the first few chapters, we haven't seen as much of Mandy's story. I'd like to see more of the actual tension between her and her husband, though I'm sure this is (sadly) to come. Again, her daily life is woven together so well, I really felt sorry for her, especially when we realize her husband is up to no good.

What is missing here, of course, is the intertwining of Mandy and Hazel's stories, and how Mandy can learn something from her friend. What I'm hoping for here is the caretaker becomes taken care of by the wisdom that is inherent in Hazel's story. I'd like to see her tell it to Mandy....or something...I guess it's up to the author. This is less of a review per se than my own personal wish list for how this continues.

There are some typos throughout, especially in Chapter 4. Suggest scrubbing this after writing the rest. Also, suggest putting settings on chapters so people like myself (i.e., American or British) know this is in Ontario.

Again, this partial work is well-written, engaging, heartbreaking, and well worth the read. It reminds me of Mitch Albom or Nicholas Sparks--an emotionally charged rollercoaster of a read that is bittersweet.

Also, it bears noting that the author seemed to have some trepidation about putting her work out there for all to see. This is the second time I've reviewed fantastic material that somebody was afraid to show. Related to this, I have two strong recommendations: 1)Have no fear- your work is well above average. Know the worth of your work. 2)Finish this book. It's a great story and deserves to be finished. And I would like to see the middle and the end of this touching story. Map out the plot, further connect and intertwine these characters, help Mandy grow, etc. Bring this to the light of day! Best of luck --r