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Great story :)
I’m not really a fan of drama/romance type stories, but this one here had me hooked! I don't know how to put it into words, but it’s something special. The characters are alive and the story feels so real that it’s hard to stop reading. Of course, I stopped after the first 4 chapters, but I plan to continue after this review!
You have a way with words and I like your writing and how descriptive it is. I also enjoyed learning about the lives of the characters involved as it was quite unique compared to what I read in regular stories.
If I had to give you a word of advice, it would be to re-read the story once. There are certain instances where a sentence is a little ambiguous, and fixing that will really help tie the whole story together.
A jarring story
The undercurrent of humour throughout this novel is just brilliant! The protagonist Herman is too funny, and I haven’t read a story quite like this before. The very concept is quite intriguing, and although I’ve read only the first 4 chapters, I hope to see this book through to the end.
The protagonist’s friend, Arturo, is quite mystical, and although I haven’t developed a connection to him yet, I look forward to see how his story unfolds.
I have one question - Is it true? I mean do people actually have sex on electrified beds? I just wanted to know because the concept of the story is quite jarring and I can’t imagine anyone in any cult agreeing to do something so drastic.
A really well-written story, and I hope to read more of your work soon. I pray that this book gets published!
I like the concept that you’re working with. I mean, a girl going to an all-boys school just to find out if her father is cheating on her mother? Simply amazing.
Now, while I’m not such a big fan of stories like this, I did read through the first 6 chapters, and I have to say, your story is something special! I enjoyed reading about Claire and the many obstacles and difficulties she has to overcome just to enroll in an all-boys school.
It’s heartwarming to see the relationship between Claire and her mother, and you’ve brought out this part of the story really well with your writing.
If I had to give you one word of advice, it would be to read through the story once. There were just a few (maybe 2 or 3) typos that I noticed so far, and the story would be way better without them.
An action-packed, mystical adventure awaits anyone wishing to read this novel. I’m amazed at how well you’ve managed to flesh out the characters in this book, and I hope to read more of your work.
I’ve read books about goblins and elves and all that mumbo-jumbo before, and most accounts of these creatures are quite similar. However, in your story, the goblins were completely different from what I usually perceive them to be. So it was quite an interesting read for me.
Your writing style is extremely descriptive, and I enjoyed reading the story. You have excellent diction and your grammar and punctuation is spot on! Minute details like this make a good story, and you’ve included enough detail to keep me glued to the novel till the end. I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but I will soon enough.
Good luck with your writing, and I hope to see this book published soon!
I have to be honest. Before the second half of the first chapter, I had no idea of the time frame in which this story was taking place. The beginning gives no clues as to the time period in which the characters exist, or if they even exist on the same plane of existence as us. I think that’s what intrigued me to read further. Great job!
Cecelia is a strong-minded and powerful character and I could really relate to her throughout the story. You’ve managed to bring out the human aspect of each of your characters, and for that, I must commend you.
I’ve managed to read through the first 5 chapters so far, and I must say, this is quite a delightful story you’ve put together. Of course, you could work on the grammar, and there are a few typos you may want to look into. But all in all, it’s a good story and I wish you luck with getting it published.
Can work on it
My favourite aspect of this story is its length, and I love how you’ve managed to convey so much information in such a short story! Simply brilliant!
Character development is great, and I can totally relate to Carmela, Luke, and everyone else in this book. Your writing style is simple and you have a knack for conveying information. Although, since this is a romance novel, I’d suggest making the language a lot more flowery to really get to the lovebirds reading this story.
You may want to proofread the story once more when you’ve got the time. I noticed a lot of typos, grammatical errors, missing full stops, and a few convoluted sentences. These hamper the quality of your novel, making it look a little shabby.
Besides these minor issues, great story, and I wish you luck on your next novel!
Simple, easy writing
I really like the simple yet extremely descriptive style of writing that you’ve employed in this novel. It makes the story easy to follow and gives the reader a more enjoyable experience. You’ve even managed to convey a variety of emotions through this simple language, and for that, I applaud you.
Character development is great, and I can almost see how Meghan and her friends develop this tight bond over time. You’ve managed to breathe life into each member of the story, and I really had fun figuring out their personalities.
On a more critical note, your simplistic writing style may be easy to read, but you may want to use a larger vocabulary to capture certain readers. With the help of better diction, you’ll be able to convey far more emotions than you’re able to right now. Great story, can be much better.
Nice, dark story
I enjoyed the dark undertone that pervades every sentence in this story. This makes it quite enjoyable to read. Of course, you may want to pay attention to your descriptions a little more, as they are a little convoluted and difficult to grasp.
I love the character of the queen and how macho she actually is compared to her weak husband, the king. Her power and intellect made it extremely easy for me to connect with her, and you’ve done a great job of explaining her personality.
On a more critical note, it would be nice if you read the whole story once again and paid attention to the sentences. Some of them end too abruptly without properly explaining a point, making the story a little disjointed. Clean these up, and you’ve got a great novel to boast of.
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