Sandy Ramnarine

Excellent work...

I was a little hesitant to give a review on your book, the reason being that it only consisted of two chapters and the main one held a lot of questions.
To clear my confused first line, your story has so much potential, I would hate to see it go to waste. I could understand if you have writer's block and I can assure you all writers experience it.
Don't stray from your plot, and make a storm when it comes to your work. It is yours so own it. I would be editing this if I see that you have uploaded more chapters.
I should remind you to expand on your character development, so a little reminder won't hurt as I am sure that you already know that.
To top all that off, great work, you're a gifted writer, and I am very much pleased having to come across such a book. Thank you.

Promising

My opinion is entitled to change only because you have a knack for your songs, and this is your first book. I am cutting you some slack, haha.
So, very first thing, I think your chapters should be a lot longer. I notice that you can expand on your ideas a lot more than you give yourself credit for. Take it from someone who has to work on that as well. I notice it a lot. Keep your words for each chapter 1000- 1500 words. It will help your readership and hook your audience. I know for sure that I wanted more.
As a reminder, you need to expand on your characters. It is very important as I am sure you are aware.
Dialogue tags should be very strong to give a sense of feeling to your characters and also to show what they're doing as your readers are interacting and reading.
Your plot needs a lot more work, but since this is the first four chapters, you better prepare yourself for a lot of planning and implementation ahead. I would also recommend a strong story structure. This simply means if you have an idea, at all ends find your cracks and try to strengthen them. It is important. You can do research before starting off a chapter if you're unsure about your own ways and ideas, and find new inspirations.
I hope this finds you well, and since you have been very promising in your writing, my genre of much is pop punk, or simply pop. I listen to mostly an artist name Exidos. He is very intelligent and inspirational. You can't miss it. If you need a touch of good luck, you have it from me!

Spunky!

As a woman who loved a spunky female character, this was just the book that brought that.
Of course, dialogue tags were a bit necessary in some places, we all make mistakes so don't even sweat it. You brought the spunk and I am living for it.
Your plot was going well and I have to say high five to you.
Your character development was astonishing and beautifully executed. It was life-like and it really made me wonder if this is your attitude as well, hehe.
Your story structure needed a little work, but as authors, we are bound to always hear this or read this, or better prepare ourselves for this at times you get so frustrated with it. I challenge you to better yourself in your next work.
As always, a great job well done, and I have to say good luck. Sorry for the late review!

Small Details when expanding your writing.

Okay, so the things that I saw I wrote in the comments which I am sure you will read some time or the other. I think this is great, your plot needs expansion, and your style in writing is good though it can be improved.
Your dialogue tags can be improved as well, and your dialogue needs expansion too.
As you go along there will be things that you see which are needed to add to your story. Remember to always try writing what you enjoy and see how much more you can expand on vocabulary, wordplay, and insightful conversations. Also, seeing how your setting was small, you need to learn the ways to create a wider picture for your audience.

Gosh, this is great!!

I honestly do not know where to begin explaining how well this really was. I love the way you made this short and sweet. It was like a juicy peach you cannot get enough of. I love the way you applied karma into your work and I find that most people go into graphic details about it, and you did not. I think it is being forgotten how simple and elegant things used to be. I cannot shower you with enough pleasantries or else they will make you overwhelmed. Haha. I will continue to support your work. Be the best always. I love this!

Good work!!

I admire even though your story was going good, I think doing some good editing would make it even better.
For instance if you choose to do any dialogue for your characters, you need to separate them in individual lines. You can indicate them with quotation marks too. I think you are aware of that.
Another thing, while reading this I felt caged. Just as how your characters were, I was feeling it too. It showed how you explored feelings in your writing.
Your plot already is in the making since you have conflict between your characters. I am really hoping that before you get to the high point into your story you would expand a little more about your characters. It needs to show who they are, what they are fighting for, personal description, bio-data even. Make your characters seem as though they are real and facing life challenges every day. Just as how we as humans are. Your story structure was indeed good, and just as I said an elaboration would fix all the cracks it currently has.
I think this story surely has potential, and your grammar also need an uplifting a bit. It sure would make something even better and as you have said this is ongoing, I would really love to see how it turns out. I hope this helps you to figure things out.

My Sunshine!

I don't think I have known about a book such as this existing in all my years writing. I wish to ask from where did you get your inspiration? I did not know people could be blind for one time of the day and then seeing for the other half.
I have to tell you, Author, this really spoke to me since it tells of a personal problem I have been going through too. I know how hard it is sometimes to love yourself and when someone finally shows you what that is like you find it a foreign feeling. I truly admire the inspiration from where you got it from.
I think I can remember wanting an expansion about the characters and their personalities, so you might need to check there about what they are like and what kind of person they are. It seems something is short too. Maybe it is the settings, and the fast pace at which they were suddenly thrown into. Even though I like it, it really needs to pan out as a conflict to draw them closer. Just an opinion for you to consider.
Forgive the tardiness of the review as I have been accumulating my mind for it to find a better place in my life. I sure hope to find out what holds for both your characters and their journey. Potentially they will end in happiness as always, or will something deter it from that a little longer? Again, just another thought for you. Be well and all my best thoughts to you!!

Amazing work done

My god, this was an exceptional novelette and I love the way your female protagonist didn't clash to clichés at all.
For your plot it was hardworking and well implemented into words as I have read through your book. It seems as though even there were stumbles you had something to fall back on, and it was mind-blowing.
For your characterization, it was phenomenal how she grew to be a capturing light throughout your book, and it certainly was appreciated to read a female protagonist not relying on the strops of a man or manly companionship.
I have to apologize since I don't really comment a lot through books, and I am trying to get the hang of that.
I understand that books have errors no matter how many times it would be edited, and I challenge you to get it right. If not for your readers, you do it for yourself.
Grammar I think we all need to work on that to be honest. The English Language has invaded by so many slangs, eventually over the years have watered down what it means to speak and write proper English. I commend your story, beautifully written.
You should know how well received and inspired I have been my your novelette, and it is rare in its own way, it is always great being outstanding.
Without much else to say, I bid you all the good luck and the best wishes from me to you. Congratulations Author you have done outstandingly well.

Well done...

First thing you should know, I want an update for this book. I really enjoy the chapters and I have read it thoroughly.
I want you to know that you have a talent for writing, and you don't need me to tell you that, do you?
For your dialogues you really need to make changes, so others won't tell you about them as new readers file in to read your lovely book.
For your character development, I think his character needs more development as the story progresses. I cannot give thorough feedback all that much since it has only a few chapters.
For your story structure, you really need to grip the reader's attention as it will bring more recognition as the book ages on Inkitt.
Your plot is standard at the moment which I really want you to progress with absolute vibrancy and intensity.
My reviews are not always so short, and I do plan to alter it given that I read your story as it evolves.

So far so good, great work and keep going strong!

Corrections...

Okay, despite the lethal amount of profanities used, your story was actually going really well. I enjoyed it from the moment I read the blurb.
I would recommend using Grammarly or LanguageTool when you have to edit your books. You have a lot of errors and your dialogues are all over the place.
Of course these are not biased thoughts, they are kind criticism. So, please keep that in mind, thank you!
You have a lovely storyline and I like it. It is simple, and yet I know you would bring something very intense to their small world.
For your dialogues, I think you should put each spoken line of a different character in a different line. Sometimes it was difficult just knowing who was speaking too. You also need to attach dialogue tags where needed too. I should also mention that commas play an important role and your spelling requires a bit of touching up too.

Hopefully, your corrections would allow me to change my views on your book, and it would help you to perfect or at least improve on your writing. Please continue writing and know that I enjoyed your book immensely.

Interesting but...

Well, your book was off to a very good start. First off, I would urge you to indicate when changing scenes, or you could put them into different sections. Your chapters are very long, and it gets confusing at times.

Your character's need a little more room to grow and there is much to work with and go along. I loved the way it started off even though I thought I was at chapter four when I was only at chapter one! LOL. I don't think I noticed any punctuation or grammar errors, or I may have overlooked them. I do however, noticed your dialogues require a bit of work. Just need to tighten it a little.

I think your chapters requires a cliffhanger of some sort to urge your readers to attract wanting to read more into the book. Your plot is slow paced and not rushed at all, and you explained well detailed settings. I admire that a lot.

I will be looking into the other books soon but for now this was an amazing read and I think what you should do is individually give these book recognitions. As for the review group, I think you should expose more of the books with review swap and politely ask if they could read it and give you the feedback that you need. You write wonderfully and it needs to be recognised. Keep up the great work. I love this!

Amazing work...

I have to say I have read your book, and it is amazing. I do have to highlight some of your quotation mistakes which I found in chapter one. Also, your dialogues are a little mixed up. When there is a thought you could put that in italics, and for dialogues, you can open them with quotation marks and end them as well. You have done so but be wary of the places you put them.
It is a lovely story, and it made me want more. I sincerely hope you continue writing since you are as talented as they come. Exceptional work!

OUT AND BEYOND EXPECTATIONS!

I think this is what poetry should feel like. I have a heart-wrenching pain in my chest and as a girl it is breaking my little heart.
Please continue to vent, but not only the bad, try good things too. I am very happy I have taken the time to read this, and it makes me think not only about myself but what others are feeling too.
I hope you find serenity in this world, my friend. I am glad to call you that, if you will let me!
You have a very advance use of small words yet making it meaningful. I couldn't get enough. Bless you!

REVIEW

I think you have a great writing idea here, though with editing and an expansive writing technique you can be able to elaborate more on your ideas and widen your scenes for your chapters. I am very skilled at pointing out errors while reading. Some of yours are hard to miss. You might need to recheck.
If you need more reviews for your books, you can check out the community sections on Inkitt to find others who would willingly do a review swap with you.
Your settings need a lot of work. I only saw glimpses of what you wanted to paint and for that, it really broke me. Also, if you find I was commenting on your chapters and the rest did not have, I forgot to leave it. Your story was indulging, I loved it. I feel as time progresses, you will find your mistakes and fix them to perfection.
You need to add dialogue tags, or better ones, to your dialogues. You should also know how you add uplifted commas as well. For each dialogue spoken by a character, put a dialogue tag, and follow-up action. This broadens what is happening around your characters and it built a relationship with your characters and their co-responders.
I know they say writing is hard work, and putting your ideas into words is sometimes challenging. You had no problem trying to plan your ideas, and for that, you must be proud of yourself. I love your cliffhangers, and they were the reasons some chapters had missing comments.
For the most I have already told you, you need a little touch of character development for your main and minor characters. For instance, Anna and her mate. I didn't get a picture of what they really looked like.
Overall, beautiful story and I know this might be a sad first review but I am subject to it changing. This is not to make you feel bad about your writing. It is not my intention at all. We all need someone to point out our overlooked mistakes, so why not take mine when I see it first? Hope this finds you well. Keep writing and I will keep looking back for more updates.

Will continue

I did have a good feel for the book and the introductory chapters were good. I look forward to reading at least three more chapters and then giving my best review of what you wrote.
The characters so far were great, the connection between two friends, the mother-daughter conversation and also, her hunky one-night stand. I look forward to seeing how well your characters grow among themselves, and with each other.
Your plot was very good, but as I said, I am looking forward to seeing how well it can go as you continue writing.
I urge you to keep up the good work, and always keep writing.

Hitting Home

I began reading this, and eventually I had to stop. It was beginning to hit too close to come, and it made me tear up inside. I have experienced what it feels like to lose something then attach yourself to something to mask your hurt or to fill the loss you're feeling. Nothing ever cures that feeling. I can assure you of that.
Your writing was beautiful and when I have overcome my hurt, I shall continue reading your story. I have to say your plot was very good, great even, and your idea for this book was a great one. What I urge you to, the next time you write a borderline horror book, try bringing or incorporate jump scares, you can make it happen for sure!
I don't think anything else needs to be said, and when I am ready of course I will update this! Please keep it up, and great job, you really have made yourself someone I sure would remember! Oh, and sorry for the very late review. Life has not been great but enough of that. I can't wait to read more of your work. Good Luck!

Bargain, it was.

At first, I hadn't realised what I was going through. It was as though I was taken back to the times when your characters were. You have such an amazing talent for writing.
You have standard professionalism for your characters and the aura they carried themselves with is impeccable.
Also, your great use of English wordplay was stunningly executed. I enjoyed it as it is something rare to find.
Your plot was very well-versed and has the potential to surpass greatness, which I am sure given time you will see how great it can be.
As always your Grammar was on point, and I haven't noticed any mistakes, or it might be an oversight, whichever it is, you have done a great job and keep it up. As always, good luck!

Great Job

Okay, from starting this, I found it to be rather interesting, the unknown quote from the beginning and the mystery of it tells you that there are deep secrets within the book, and for that I applaud you.
Your writing style was clean and concise, your ideas well thought out, and produced to have a feeling of understanding throughout your paragraphs and chapters. Adequate spacing between your paragraphs, by the way, is very important, it was well done.
Honestly, I did not see anything wrong with your grammar and punctuation and I really have looked it over keenly to seek them out. I am a weirdo like that, hehe.
Overall, your story is great and I will give more details as I see them fit as I move along. Great work and a greater warm-up for what's more is to come. Also, I am very sorry for the late review. Life has its challenges.

Oh my gosh!!!

This is absolutely a mess but in such an excellent way. I was torn that she and the guy was cheating on Amelia, but then it certainly took a while to fixate that this is fiction and I should not get worked up about it. You have tangles, and it is like string theory trying to figure things out. I may have taken long to figure how I am going to write this review but god-damn, it was worth the big read that I did.
Your characters certainly grew into something that I did not expect, and it is what surprised me the most that you keep it all on a leash on how much information you're going to let out for one character.
Your plot freaking killed it, yay!!! My gosh, I think I am your fan now, haha.
I absolutely loved this and cannot wait for more, lots of virtual hugs and keep up the great work!!!

Greatness achieved...

I did not expect to like this book as much as I do. It hits too much to home and thinking about it now, you really hit the nail on the head.
I am glad she had a savior even though she seems stronger almost new because of experience. It held all the emotions at the right time, and the little princess in between surely took my breath away. It felt like I was falling in love, haha.
For your male lead protagonist it was new to me. He never once pushed her to do something what she didn't want, and it really paid off. Normally it would be such a persistent presence and eventually overcoming with lust she would have given in.
The plot was so good and like I said, even though not really an action fan, it surely made me held my breath. I love this so much. Your story structure was something admirable, and I do like to read more of your work. I don't think I saw mistakes in your book, but it is always highly commendable when mistakes are visibly notice, or they are overlooked, haha. Good job, and please continue all the best work you do. Sorry for the late review, hehe.

Intriguing

I love the way it started off. It was always cheery, and then the cheer turned to ammunition in the wind with withering hurt and mystery tearing it apart.
It hooked me in from the start and even though I did not see any noticeable mistakes, it is highly commendable that you would keep it that way. I love the chemistry and the adaptation of the characters to their surroundings, and your settings was surely admirable.
Your plot sure will have exciting new things to offer if you do choose to go that way, and since your protagonist have found each other it decides that it is inevitable for a greater plot line. I love the way it is going so far, exceptionally one, dear!
Your characters really must be something you're good at since they seem to be well-thought-out before you made a step, or at least it is what was shown.
So far, it seems you have got everything good coming to you when it comes to Finding Luna, lovely work and as always I will continue to support your work, all the best from me! Oh, and sorry for the long awaited review, couldn't get enough, haha.

Soren

Soren truly speaks about the unfairness when you're someone special, and you don't flaunt it about. I really liked the beginning of the story that gives great details about its potential of the book. What I really admire is her childlike innocence, and it truly breaks my heart to see how she was treated. I choked it up to be jealousy from the inception though I smelled it from afar.
You're a fantastic writer and while reading this I really did not want to stop and write a review, so I tried my best to do this as quickly as possible and get back to your story. Rest assured!
I am not sure what else am I supposed to say and quite frankly, I can only sing your praises. I really liked the book since it is something I would hold close, and really it would stick with me for a very long time. Your name chosen for the book was highly impressive.
If there is anything else that needs to be added, I will dd it soon. Can't wait!

SMOKE ME!

I enjoyed the seriousness of the story. I understand how skeptical it is to want to not trust anyone. They have something good, and even though they are weird together, it just seems fitting.
I guess you cleared up the thought from the dialogue and that is alright I guess. I do want you to clarify the POVs a little more. Maybe it is just me, but it seems a little out of place at times.
Having said so, your plot was well, and your characters need a little more room to grow, and it would be even better.
I should mention how sorry I am for my late review. I have been taking some time off. This was a lovely story overall, and I really enjoyed it.
Oh, and before I forget, LOVE THE TITLE!!!

Wonderful...

The only error I thought of finding, and it coincidentally caught my eye was in chapter eighteen and even to that I really wanted to overlook it.
This book was a tremendous success, and you should be proud of yourself. I love the chemistry between characters bringing conflict, the instances of attraction and the balance each character has as their turn to say something appears.
I love how the female protagonist was a badass. I admire the female stand for what is right, and she also has a very good sense of humour. You have made your characters come alive, and I had a front row seat.
I would advise on grammar usage and even though it pained me to say it, I think you should know. Darn it!
Seeing how chapter nineteen has brought a whole new challenge I await to see what will happen. I love the way this is going.
Your plot is excellent, and it seemed as though you put in the work to build the world that your characters live in.
For character development you have done a good job, adding more backstory to your female protagonist would be advised to do so in fragments, this is initially my thought though. You should make your own choices.
I love the story structure overall, and I am happy you seem to almost enjoy it as much as I enjoy reading it.
Oh, and I am very sorry for the late review, but I wanted to get a good read and to make my claim true before doing a thorough review. My apologies for the lateness. (When you have something good, you savour it, haha).
GREAT JOB AND I IMMENSELY HOPE THIS BRINGS YOU GOOD LUCK!!

Good writing skills!

Honestly, this seems like a really great book, and I am glad that I have stumbled upon it. So thank you!
For your plot, I could feel it accelerating with your chapters available. It is strong, and please continue to let it be like that.
For your story structure, it really took time, and it paid off. You took your time explaining what your main character is going through, and you even had the time to make the person she is communicating with mysterious along the way.
I think there will be a big blowout to all of this later on in the book, but I don't wish to deter you of your plans for your book.
Character development was right on the spot, and I loved it! My gosh, you really are a great writer.
If there is a need to do something to add perfection to your story don't hesitate to do so. I really saw how much work put into this, and it is going to pay off. Keep going at it and great work! Loved it!!

Something missing...

Amidst all the information given while reading, there was something missing in between. I found it thrilling at the end, and you need to incorporate that for the beginning and the middle of the chapters 1 and 2 that you have now.
Secondly, I don't think that there is anything else pertaining to grammar, or maybe it slipped my eyesight.
Your writing style was good, but you need to know what makes you scared, and you need to apply that in your writing. You would not believe how true that is when it comes to situations. What makes your heart flutter rapidly in your chest?
I know information and fleshing out is good for characters to live in the story, but you have to remember too much information would make your readers bored.
I do advise you to revise what you have for chapters one and two and see with new eyes what can be omitted and what can be applied. It was a great story and I love the already building plot. Don't forget to enjoy writing as much as you enjoy reading. All good luck from me!

Work good!

This is not really my style of book, but it is commendable that you had such a vivid imagination of it all.
For your story structure, I am awaiting to see a conflicted piece that might trigger something exciting and so huge, it must be exhilarating.
Your plot was going good, I have no issues at the moment and for characters development, I think you need to work and expand more on who and what your characters are supposed to be.
Also, for dialogues, I would recommend that you put each line for each person as they have a conversation.
If two persons are talking with one another, your reader would most likely want to understand what is happening.
Once again, I don't think there is anything that I should say, so for the first review, hopefully this helps to better your writing.

Changes

First, I applaud you trying to write a girlxgirl book and what a good start to it. Though it started off strong, this is only the introduction. I am hoping this gets to change soon, and you update. I would be willing to change my views once you update at least three to four chapters.
Keep in mind grammar and punctuation, plot and character development and story structure. I would be looking for them as I read along. Good luck to you.

Numbingly good!

You are such an amazing writer, and I am saying this with true respect as a fellow writer. It is my first time stumbling upon this and I would allow my husband to read this if he has the time. He might find it even more interesting than I did.
You're complex, and you're vibrant with your description. You explain everything so well, and I felt as though I was in the world with the characters. I did not expect such a feeling.
Your plot wanted something more. I don't know what it was, but really I think it wanted a darker entity to obstruct it, but I don't think this is finished just yet.
For character development, I think your main character will develop all your other characters around him, where do you get your ideas from? It was well-thought-out, and I saw the dedication put into writing your pieces.
Your grammar need some work like saying the name for example 'an invisible force' used consistently than it should have too. Keep that in mind when writing or editing this work, before I forget also try spacing your work. I love it very much but often enough it gets confusing when I am halfway through and my eyes require a break from the screen.
Overall, surely I love it. It was a breath of fresh air. Keep going on, author!

A good work, but...

This was long due for me to say, but I am now saying this, and it was immensely enjoyable reading your book.
For writers, I think what some lack is trying to stay on the topic of focus and implement their plot to remain proper and intact. You started off so well, and then somehow I think I strayed, or you might have got caught up into the book.
You should have exceeded the story between the first two characters a little more, implement communication between her and the significant other, and since they are a family, I have not felt much warmth with the characters. Your rape scene was giving me goosebumps, and you held me on quite strongly at the end of your chapters. I applaud you for that.
For Karie's story I was thinking bring more conflict between them and don't hold back, as you should have with the first two characters.
Overall you have had lots to write, and it really was a good story. Hopefully an outside insight was of great assistance to you and how you can better your writing.
Oh, and I almost forgot, having dialogue tags isn't really a problem, but having a tactful dialogue tag makes all the difference when readers are relating to your book.
Truly great story and I hope to hear what your imaginations have to offer me and my words of wisdom will always be there for you. Be the best!

Honestly...

Your story made a permanent smile on my face that I absolutely treasure.
First off, I don't think I came across any errors, or maybe I have overlooked them. I am confident it wasn't the latter.
Secondly, His and Hers really aspired me to open my mind that everything doesn't always work out the way that things go and most likely two different paths made. However, if fate does play a big part in reuniting two crossed paths, then it would be utterly wonderful.
You have an ongoing book part I assumed for The peach dress, if I got that name wrong, forgive me. It showed how innocent something could start off, and eventually you are stuck like gum to the wall trying to please someone. I would like to know how this story would continue and additions to it. I quite enjoyed reading what you had to create, and it was a delight that will always be close with me. I hope you enjoy this and finds this encouraging for you, since you are a very creative and full of potential. I look forward to knowing what else you have playing at your fingertips. Be creative and vibrant. All the best!

Astoundingly well crafted and elated to read!

Reading this made me a better person for sure. It reminded me to follow my dreams no matter what be who I am, and ultimately I shall be rewarded. It is the message that I got from this book. I enjoyed the transition Toby went through as the book progressed and even though I know the adventure isn't over for them, I am elated to tell you that you have a fan in me.
You created this whole new world, and I was mesmerized by it so much I think I partially lived in it while reading your book. It is a rare opportunity for me to find a book as such.
Your writing and character building as intense and laboured, do you know the saying, 'worked hard with sweat and blood?' That is what your character had done for me.
While reading this book, I did notice some errors, but which book doesn't have errors? With endless going back and forth you might still miss one and two, but that makes us human. Though your book made me feel invincible.
I would urge you to continue writing and being your imaginative and explorative, yet appealing and serious personality as it always brings out the best in your characters. You're one in a million writers I would gladly take time off work to snuggle with your book and get lost into your fictional works.
This is going to be one book constantly on my mind and I thank you plenty. All my best wishes to you!

Character

What can I say, you described so well your scenes. I like how it really brings the conflict between the two characters and I really admire their working chemistry. Even though he is of higher working standards than her, she compliments his character. I think your book needs more chapters as I love the plot already. A few mistakes here and there, but nothing you cannot undo with dedicated editing. Keep reaching for greatness and complete your book would work out for the best! Congrats!

It needs a little more work...

I honestly did not know how to go about rating this book, it is only one chapter. I am looking forward to reading more, and I would gladly change or add to this review. If there are changes to be added or more that is, I would want to read it.
Your lead of the story seemed to have a hard relatable life. I think if you want to continue connecting with your audience then you need to pay attention to your punctuation and give the characters a little more time to grow and develop. Overall, it is not much to say but watch the way you write your dialogues and the quotation marks. I enjoyed it and you could continue writing. Enjoy writing as much as you enjoy reading someone's else's story. Be good to yourself and ideas will flow.

Smiling...

I am convinced that I was smiling throughout this story while reading. It occurred to me that was the case because my cheeks ached. I really like it a lot, and I am looking forward to reading more. I don't think I noticed any mistakes with punctuation, but I may have missed some of them. I was hoping to get more clarity when it comes to their dialogues. I don't know, maybe it is just myself that is a little lost, but it just seems as though something was missing while reading it.
Overall though, I quite enjoyed it, and I love the way you brought everything bit by bit, it was something that I really admired. Please continue writing, and I am hoping to continue reading wonderfully. Hope this encourages you. Oh, and be mindful of enjoying while you write, all smiles!

Wonderfully executed...

I have to say, this is rarely something that I would be so pleasured in finding, and it makes me leave all my work just to come and enjoy reading. It is the many joys of reading which I find tempting. It is also very rewarding.
Your work is very vivid, and it makes you follow so much about what is happening and what they are doing. I love the bond of your characters and the way they are interacting with each other, as well as Mike and Gold. It makes me want more, and I won't be afraid to urge you to continue writing.
I love the work you have done on your characters so far. For your plot development, it is solid in my opinion so far.
You do need to fix things up a little when using commas and your dialogues need a little tightening up. But nothing a little editing cannot make new once again. I am smiling as I am doing this because I know how happy I would be too. I hope you never get writer's block and your story turns out wonderfully. I am following you, so the update would be received gratefully when you have done so. All the best wishes and happy writing to you!

Reasons...

Okay for starters, I think this is a book I would rarely come across and when I do, I can't get enough of it. It makes me feel so good inside. Yours is no exception. You have given life to your characters, and it is your turn to give them something for them to thrive. I really like it so far, and I am looking forward to more. However, don't make it too cliché, since these would normally lead to readers taking a pause from reading your books. I keep getting this mystical feeling from this book, and it made me intrigued where you got this idea from. I would offer more insight as it goes along with its update. Keep up the great work!

Nicely done.

Your book reminds me of being in hot and cold temperature. One moment it is hot, and the other is cold. I love your plot. It started a little confusing to me, but I think after thorough reading through I got a grasp of it. More spacing is necessary within paragraphs.
Your character development is slow but appealing, and I notice it hadn't one boring moment. They clash a lot throughout the book and for that I admire it. I am glad I got to read this book. I enjoyed it so much.

Great Job.

Well, this was certainly a breath of fresh air, and to be honest I enjoyed reading it.
I do would like you to know that the questionnaire at the end of some paragraphs is not necessary and as you might have noticed, not all of your readers are responding to them. Your readers want to keep their thoughts after they have read the last chapter of your book, novel, etc.
Your plot is going well, and if you elaborate more on your settings that would be great too. I am only getting that it is a small town and not intricate details to the town. I wanted a description of the trinket shop.
I don't think there were anything else that I have missed, and it just seems that you have your ideas planned out, you need to execute it. I am only suggesting about the setting part of it.
Overall, well done on your work, and I admire the talent you have. I look forward to reading more from you.

CONGRATULATIONS!

It was a beautifully written piece. It seems so surreal like someone is relating a story to me, and I enjoy that more than anything else. I did want some clarity more on the spoken conversations and the one that is spoken in thought. It seems to confuse me and I think it's because some of them are joined with the Character's spoken lines.
For instance, Dio mio... I had no idea that you were this bothered.”
I took me a while to figure if this was inwardly spoken, or if this was said to his sister. It only consisted of one quotation mark.
Your plot is going remarkably well. I had to read it twice to grasp it, and it is no fault of you but my own.
Your character development clashes and I like that a lot. I notice how broody he is, and she seems to be vibrant underlying sadness.
As far as I have read you are very talented, and your ideas are on point. There are still a few grammatical errors that needs to be mended, but you will figure it out in time. Of course, I have only found one, so congrats on that.
The explanation and the emotions displayed really brings to life the characters too.
Overall, it is a good read and I notice you said you upload on Mondays, so I will be looking forward to reading more.
Your book holds as much potential as you want it to have, and if you give yourself the push you need to create colourful pieces then you have the most powerful weapon. I think you have unlocked key components.

Review

This is a wonderful and most inspiring book that had me back and forth through emotions and I would love to have more.